Magic in a Sick World
contest entry9 total reviews
Comment from cupa tea
I always enjoy your stories...and I find this one excellent. The way you used the items listed was very inventive. Your story had emotion and carried a nice lesson too. Well done...I more or less expected to find folks making up silly things and you took it and made it realistic...cleaver...
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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I always enjoy your stories...and I find this one excellent. The way you used the items listed was very inventive. Your story had emotion and carried a nice lesson too. Well done...I more or less expected to find folks making up silly things and you took it and made it realistic...cleaver...
Comment Written 14-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 14-Sep-2013
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Where do you come up with these story ideas? You have to admit that a unicorn fart is downright weird. Now you haven't been experimenting with LSD, have you? I thought you'd have some weird stuff for this prompt. I wrote it just to see if I could make a story out of such a strange list of qualifiers.
Comment from Judy Couch
This story is fantastic. I love it. When I saw the prompt, I thought about writing on it, but couldn't think of anything. Your story is wonderful. I liked the expressions of emotion. I liked the positive ending. I liked the way you harvested the items from the treasure hunt.
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2013
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This story is fantastic. I love it. When I saw the prompt, I thought about writing on it, but couldn't think of anything. Your story is wonderful. I liked the expressions of emotion. I liked the positive ending. I liked the way you harvested the items from the treasure hunt.
Comment Written 13-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 13-Sep-2013
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You are very kind and I appreciate your generous rating and words.
Truthfully, I avoided this prompt thinking it too far out there, but the day I wrote this it was pouring rain outside and I had laundry and back taxes as my alternative preoccupation for the day. I chose to challenge myself instead with this rather bizarre story line. Thanks so much.
Comment from amanda98653
A fascinating you've written there. Very touching indeed.
One minor mistake:"3. Find a slice of the rainbow"just for you
Abolish the quotation mark
Good luck in the contest
Very well-written
God bless
Amanda
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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A fascinating you've written there. Very touching indeed.
One minor mistake:"3. Find a slice of the rainbow"just for you
Abolish the quotation mark
Good luck in the contest
Very well-written
God bless
Amanda
Comment Written 12-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2013
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Thank you. It's my word program. when I copy/past to FS hyphens become quotation marks and I have no idea why.
Comment from w.j.debi
You did a great job with the prompt and created an endearing story about hope and rescue in the bargain. Wonderful title and you created magic for both of the characters as they connected with each other. Imaginative tale. Thanks for sharing. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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You did a great job with the prompt and created an endearing story about hope and rescue in the bargain. Wonderful title and you created magic for both of the characters as they connected with each other. Imaginative tale. Thanks for sharing. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much. It was a challenging prompt and I'm happy that you got some enjoyment from the read.
Comment from cinderbella
You lived up to the expectations in a very creative way indeed. This story made me laugh, made me cry, and it made me believe in magic. :)
Once I started reading, I couldn't stop, the story just drew me in.
Maybe some of these people who dream up these writing prompts are trying to really challenge writers like you. Maybe they even know whaat they're doing. lol You did not disappoint this reader, for sure. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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You lived up to the expectations in a very creative way indeed. This story made me laugh, made me cry, and it made me believe in magic. :)
Once I started reading, I couldn't stop, the story just drew me in.
Maybe some of these people who dream up these writing prompts are trying to really challenge writers like you. Maybe they even know whaat they're doing. lol You did not disappoint this reader, for sure. :) Sandra
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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I'm delighted to hear you say so. I did find it a little weird and then decided what the heck, let's see if I can do it. I'm very glad you enjoyed the end product.
Comment from twowheels
I review alot of poems and stories here on the site, because I really cant pay for the certificates and such. Many many times I read and review for the cents, but your story is a rare exception. I was drawn in by the unusual premise, your dialog is engaging, and the storyline kept me interested. Very good writing.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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I review alot of poems and stories here on the site, because I really cant pay for the certificates and such. Many many times I read and review for the cents, but your story is a rare exception. I was drawn in by the unusual premise, your dialog is engaging, and the storyline kept me interested. Very good writing.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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Well thank you very much, especially for your perseverance. it's a long story, but the prompt was complicated and took more than the average word count to cover it all.
Comment from soniafogal
I love the idea behind this story. It's a sweet tale of life's magic. There were some punctuation issues - a few are:
You left out a comma after "beguiled me"
"I had them all "Superman, Batman"" should be "I had them all - "Superman", "Batman",and many more".
"Death played an important part in my jaded trashing of childhood dreams "just like Jerry" I knew how cold and heartless the world could be." - This is really two sentences. The first sentence ends with "childhood dreams". And the words "just like Jerry" don't need to be in quotes.
The punctuation issues didn't keep me from enjoying the story. It was very entertaining.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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I love the idea behind this story. It's a sweet tale of life's magic. There were some punctuation issues - a few are:
You left out a comma after "beguiled me"
"I had them all "Superman, Batman"" should be "I had them all - "Superman", "Batman",and many more".
"Death played an important part in my jaded trashing of childhood dreams "just like Jerry" I knew how cold and heartless the world could be." - This is really two sentences. The first sentence ends with "childhood dreams". And the words "just like Jerry" don't need to be in quotes.
The punctuation issues didn't keep me from enjoying the story. It was very entertaining.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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When I copy and paste from word, often my hyphens turn into quote marks on FS. Thanks for the alerts.
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Don't you love technology? Sometimes I don't! :)
Comment from lancellot
Well done. I give you credit. I saw this contest and said it was too hard for me. You managed to blend it all in perfectly.
Note:
After a restless night filled with dreams about my parents and my childhood, before being sent [sent] to live in foster care,
- delete
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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Well done. I give you credit. I saw this contest and said it was too hard for me. You managed to blend it all in perfectly.
Note:
After a restless night filled with dreams about my parents and my childhood, before being sent [sent] to live in foster care,
- delete
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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I appreciate your perseverance through such a long story and also the alert.
It was a very strange prompt and certainly the story can't be used for anything other than playtime of FS, but hey, there was a storm outside this afternoon and I was deliberately avoiding chores and this is what came out of my laziness.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Although this is a fairly long story, the writer does a good job of keeping the readers attention. The transition is good. The balance is good. The pace is consistent as the writer does a good job of leading the reader where the reader needs to go.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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Although this is a fairly long story, the writer does a good job of keeping the readers attention. The transition is good. The balance is good. The pace is consistent as the writer does a good job of leading the reader where the reader needs to go.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2013
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It really was a bizarre prompt having to use at least five of the items on the list and proving how the acquisition was made. I generally don't write stories this long, but it was impossible to do in a shorter space and I appreciate your perseverance.
