Pale Sisters
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "Nurses"Science fiction.
17 total reviews
Comment from Caressa_08
A very well thought out chapter that flowed with much interest from this reader from beginning to the end...And never like to watch anything too much science fiction with those overly, strange headgear & crazy consumes. And unbelievable feats that tries to transform one's mind to pull one in, from the very start.. I never buy into them...Though, this chapter seems to have a good way looking to a normal situation, which appears to just be a gifted child, named Libra, who being
darker skinned compared to her sister...and like Beatrice, it got me wondering too... Also, like how you left the reader hanging to draw them even more after all sorts of scary weirdness occurred with appearing at first to be a normal meeting with a maestro, that didn't get that far...turning deadly and, well, proving that, yes, Libra is definitely a different child, more ways than one...and she knows that, and so does this Linda, who is a dangerous, sexy looking woman with an eye defect, the dead guards who probably shouldn't of thought of her as such...and, well, it seems she can read minds, and maybe not of this planet or will find out in the next chapter.
Caressa_08
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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A very well thought out chapter that flowed with much interest from this reader from beginning to the end...And never like to watch anything too much science fiction with those overly, strange headgear & crazy consumes. And unbelievable feats that tries to transform one's mind to pull one in, from the very start.. I never buy into them...Though, this chapter seems to have a good way looking to a normal situation, which appears to just be a gifted child, named Libra, who being
darker skinned compared to her sister...and like Beatrice, it got me wondering too... Also, like how you left the reader hanging to draw them even more after all sorts of scary weirdness occurred with appearing at first to be a normal meeting with a maestro, that didn't get that far...turning deadly and, well, proving that, yes, Libra is definitely a different child, more ways than one...and she knows that, and so does this Linda, who is a dangerous, sexy looking woman with an eye defect, the dead guards who probably shouldn't of thought of her as such...and, well, it seems she can read minds, and maybe not of this planet or will find out in the next chapter.
Caressa_08
Comment Written 28-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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Thank you, Caressa, for the throrough review. It's a convoluted story and gets more so as we go.
Comment from nomi338
To say that the plot has thickened is an understatement at this point. The intrigue not only continues, it is getting hotter and hotter. I am waiting with bated breath to see what happens next.
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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To say that the plot has thickened is an understatement at this point. The intrigue not only continues, it is getting hotter and hotter. I am waiting with bated breath to see what happens next.
Comment Written 28-May-2017
reply by the author on 28-May-2017
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There should enough going on now to get somewhere.
Comment from apky
Like entering heaven in God's own chariot, manned by Old St P.:
All that was memory to the former Emily Pollar was continued to the present tenant. She reached down for the child and picked her up. She walked quickly with the child to the front of the hall and shouted for help. An attendant came and, hearing the story of the attack, hurriedly phoned for the police. Emily then phoned the estate to tell Beatrice what had happened.
She could now enter the estate of Winston Lee in one of his own vehicles.
Thoroughly enjoyed this,
Apky
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
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Like entering heaven in God's own chariot, manned by Old St P.:
All that was memory to the former Emily Pollar was continued to the present tenant. She reached down for the child and picked her up. She walked quickly with the child to the front of the hall and shouted for help. An attendant came and, hearing the story of the attack, hurriedly phoned for the police. Emily then phoned the estate to tell Beatrice what had happened.
She could now enter the estate of Winston Lee in one of his own vehicles.
Thoroughly enjoyed this,
Apky
Comment Written 27-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
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Thank you, apky.
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, I will be honest with you that supernatural is not really my thing, but I want to comment that this is very well written and for the time being I'll be with the story. I'm curious how it'll proceed.
Our cherries are soon over and I will be back to normal.
All the best. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
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Hi Bill, I will be honest with you that supernatural is not really my thing, but I want to comment that this is very well written and for the time being I'll be with the story. I'm curious how it'll proceed.
Our cherries are soon over and I will be back to normal.
All the best. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 26-May-2017
reply by the author on 27-May-2017
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Sorry to lose you. I try to stay as real as one can.
Comment from Thomas Bowling
The Magfas have spent centuries breeding selected humans to a desired genetic preference
I assume you got this information from Google. Very good.
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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The Magfas have spent centuries breeding selected humans to a desired genetic preference
I assume you got this information from Google. Very good.
Comment Written 24-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Are you saying something about this?
Comment from pbomar1115
Bill, you write like a well, seasoned professional. I was introduced to the good and bad characters, told what the problem is and now the bad guy/girl has achieved its goal, but the good has not had a chance to show its attempt to maintain it's goodness. So we have a cliffhanger or scene to act 1. At any rate, I will be looking for the continuation. Great writing, Bill.
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Bill, you write like a well, seasoned professional. I was introduced to the good and bad characters, told what the problem is and now the bad guy/girl has achieved its goal, but the good has not had a chance to show its attempt to maintain it's goodness. So we have a cliffhanger or scene to act 1. At any rate, I will be looking for the continuation. Great writing, Bill.
Comment Written 24-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you for the excellent review. Here is the one minute summary of the story so far: Sophia Pale married, but her husband was murdered as she was raped by a gang of men on the second night of their marriage. She was taken in by her husband's aunt, Amanda, who actually arranged both the murder and the raping as part of a cult ritual (Magfas) to create a genetically perfect race. She gave birth to a child named after a zodiac sign. Sophia was kidnapped and raped again while one of the rapists was sacrificed during the act. She was framed for that murder and eventually sent to prison. She gave birth to a second child in prison. Both were adopted by unknown people(Magfas). Sophia gave up her life to join the Kolk, an alien race that exists as one being without bodies. Her body died but her essence joined the Kolk in Linda's body. Linda escaped prison, knowing that the Magfas was on to her, and ended up in a hospital. She escaped the hospital by poking out the rape-gang leader's eye. Before getting away she had her own eye dislodged from her skull and pushed back in. Olan, eyeball pokee-outted, woke in the hospital to find that Amanda was cleaning house and was killing off all loose ends. He escaped and is now looking for Amanda. There's another woman, Diane, who is aligned with the Magfas, as a matter of convenience, and is about to drop the third baby. Then Linda shows up for the current installment you just read. How's that?
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You know how to spin a bad. The readers like the bad but they want to see the good win. Linda is the worst of them all. I read the part of her killing the caretaker of Libra. Linda makes the story interesting.
Comment from KyColonel Randal
Thank you for sharing. So clarify for me, the lady named Linda discarded her body (blond with a squinty eye) and assumed the body of the nurse named Emily, correct? So now it appears that the lady who attacked the security guards is also dead. But in reality there is a body snatcher thing going on, right?
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Thank you for sharing. So clarify for me, the lady named Linda discarded her body (blond with a squinty eye) and assumed the body of the nurse named Emily, correct? So now it appears that the lady who attacked the security guards is also dead. But in reality there is a body snatcher thing going on, right?
Comment Written 24-May-2017
reply by the author on 24-May-2017
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Here is the one minute summary of the story so far: Sophia Pale married, but her husband was murdered as she was raped by a gang of men on the second night of their marriage. She was taken in by her husband's aunt, Amanda, who actually arranged both the murder and the raping as part of a cult ritual (Magfas) to create a genetically perfect race. She gave birth to a child named after a zodiac sign. Sophia was kidnapped and raped again while one of the rapists was sacrificed during the act. She was framed for that murder and eventually sent to prison. She gave birth to a second child in prison. Both were adopted by unknown people(Magfas). Sophia gave up her life to join the Kolk, an alien race that exists as one being without bodies. Her body died but her essence joined the Kolk in Linda's body. Linda escaped prison, knowing that the Magfas was on to her, and ended up in a hospital. She escaped the hospital by poking out the rape-gang leader's eye. Before getting away she had her own eye dislodged from her skull and pushed back in. Olan, eyeball pokee-outted, woke in the hospital to find that Amanda was cleaning house and was killing off all loose ends. He escaped and is now looking for Amanda. There's another woman, Diane, who is aligned with the Magfas, as a matter of convenience, and is about to drop the third baby. Then Linda shows up for the current installment you just read. How's that?
Comment from Gungalo
Hmmmm this story has far reaching ramifications I do believe. To be two years old and playing the piano is amazing. Now aliens have taken over Emily's body. Surely there is more to come.
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Hmmmm this story has far reaching ramifications I do believe. To be two years old and playing the piano is amazing. Now aliens have taken over Emily's body. Surely there is more to come.
Comment Written 06-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 06-Sep-2013
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Thank you for taking a look. Bill
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Smile Bill.
Comment from cinderbella
This was written extremely well, and it certainly captured my attention the whole way through. The characters were believable, and the dialogue was realistic as well. I enjoyed it. :) Sandra
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2013
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This was written extremely well, and it certainly captured my attention the whole way through. The characters were believable, and the dialogue was realistic as well. I enjoyed it. :) Sandra
Comment Written 04-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 05-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Sandra, for the positive review. Bill
Comment from Dean Kuch
In the chapter, "Nurse", we are introduced to Beatrice Lindsey and Puerto Rican nanny now operating in the US. Beatrice was the nanny for Virgo, Winston Lee's child, and was with the little girl constantly. Little Virgo is obviously a very intelligent child. One could even say she was gifted. Virgo's younger sister, Libra, was taken care of by Emily Pollar, her nurse. As Beatrice was with Vigo, Emily was near Libra 24/7. Apparently, Libra has a photographic memory, of sorts, as evidenced by the incident during the playing of the piano, by Emily one afternoon. The tike, at just two years old, nearly immolated every note of the song Emily had been playing, and some from an earlier time she'd heard, as well.
I really liked the confrontation of the two security guards and the tall, slender woman in the concert hall building. Linda is not one you'd want to piss off, to be sure! She explains to Emily that she has not come to hurt her or the young Libra, but to assist them in escaping their current situation.
Now, one of the Kolk has taken over the life force from Emily's body, and is, essentially, now in charge of little Lira's care.
Cool! Great stuff, Bill. I am glad I was able to get caught back up with the story. I'll have to contact Tom, or someone, and ask them why I am not receiving notifications about your story. I like to jump on 'em as soon as they become available.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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In the chapter, "Nurse", we are introduced to Beatrice Lindsey and Puerto Rican nanny now operating in the US. Beatrice was the nanny for Virgo, Winston Lee's child, and was with the little girl constantly. Little Virgo is obviously a very intelligent child. One could even say she was gifted. Virgo's younger sister, Libra, was taken care of by Emily Pollar, her nurse. As Beatrice was with Vigo, Emily was near Libra 24/7. Apparently, Libra has a photographic memory, of sorts, as evidenced by the incident during the playing of the piano, by Emily one afternoon. The tike, at just two years old, nearly immolated every note of the song Emily had been playing, and some from an earlier time she'd heard, as well.
I really liked the confrontation of the two security guards and the tall, slender woman in the concert hall building. Linda is not one you'd want to piss off, to be sure! She explains to Emily that she has not come to hurt her or the young Libra, but to assist them in escaping their current situation.
Now, one of the Kolk has taken over the life force from Emily's body, and is, essentially, now in charge of little Lira's care.
Cool! Great stuff, Bill. I am glad I was able to get caught back up with the story. I'll have to contact Tom, or someone, and ask them why I am not receiving notifications about your story. I like to jump on 'em as soon as they become available.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thanks, Dean, for staying with me on this. Bill
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My pleasure, Bill. It's a great story.
