Fare's Fair--The End
Conclusion of a two-parter.27 total reviews
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
The first party narrative in this story is the most effective manner you could have possible chosen. For a tough 'cabby' who won't allow crying in his cab, he sure has s marshmallow heart. I enjoyed this one so very much. :-) Carolyn
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The first party narrative in this story is the most effective manner you could have possible chosen. For a tough 'cabby' who won't allow crying in his cab, he sure has s marshmallow heart. I enjoyed this one so very much. :-) Carolyn
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
Comment from Craigitar
A great little slice of life in this story--three lives that orbit around each other and interact on a regular basis. Good writin' HW. Well penned and a satisfying read.
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A great little slice of life in this story--three lives that orbit around each other and interact on a regular basis. Good writin' HW. Well penned and a satisfying read.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
Comment from sibhus
Reminds me of the frencg guy that wrote about retards with strings. Whoops, can I say retard, I wouldn't want to be all non-pc and all, probably should say the mentallly forked. Anyway this slice of Americana is really good. Iliked the look at the average guy in what may not be your average circumstances. Good stuff there, Lee.
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Reminds me of the frencg guy that wrote about retards with strings. Whoops, can I say retard, I wouldn't want to be all non-pc and all, probably should say the mentallly forked. Anyway this slice of Americana is really good. Iliked the look at the average guy in what may not be your average circumstances. Good stuff there, Lee.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
Comment from samandlancelot
Lee,
I like how Bill shares the backstory of Francis and how he came to be in the position he's in, especially the part where he believes his pain is the penance he must pay for what he's done.
That false idea of penance is what destroyed my sister's marriage. Every time something went wrong, she was sure God was punishing her for having sex before she married and for marrying an unbeliever. So she would beg Him once again to forgive her, but she would never receive His forgiveness, choosing instead to serve her penance and continue her punishment over and over again. She finally became so unhappy that she was sure the only answer was to divorce her husband and marry a Christian man.
She puts on a good act, but I still don't think she's happy.
Anyway, I enjoyed your story from Bill's point of view.
Patricia
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Lee,
I like how Bill shares the backstory of Francis and how he came to be in the position he's in, especially the part where he believes his pain is the penance he must pay for what he's done.
That false idea of penance is what destroyed my sister's marriage. Every time something went wrong, she was sure God was punishing her for having sex before she married and for marrying an unbeliever. So she would beg Him once again to forgive her, but she would never receive His forgiveness, choosing instead to serve her penance and continue her punishment over and over again. She finally became so unhappy that she was sure the only answer was to divorce her husband and marry a Christian man.
She puts on a good act, but I still don't think she's happy.
Anyway, I enjoyed your story from Bill's point of view.
Patricia
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
Comment from N.K. Wagner
Tears deserve a 6. And you've managed to wring both out of me with this outstanding story, Lee. Beautifully done, sir. :) nancy
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Tears deserve a 6. And you've managed to wring both out of me with this outstanding story, Lee. Beautifully done, sir. :) nancy
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Nancy. I didn't mean to make you cry, but it's good to now the story connects. I really appreciate your comments. Peace, Lee
Comment from adewpearl
great discussion about getting or not getting a ramp to help push the defrocked priest up the stoop
you work the back story in very effectively as he tells the story of the dying mother lying in the street who somehow recognizes him and whom all his praying can't save
This is one very complicated man, Lee - a powerful portrait.
Brooke
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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great discussion about getting or not getting a ramp to help push the defrocked priest up the stoop
you work the back story in very effectively as he tells the story of the dying mother lying in the street who somehow recognizes him and whom all his praying can't save
This is one very complicated man, Lee - a powerful portrait.
Brooke
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Brooke. Yes, a complicated man. But somehow his story came without fuss or coercion. I hope you enjoyed.
Peace, Lee
Comment from Spitfire
That's quite a story about the innocent kiss that defrocked the priest. "Hesperus Knows" --Love it. You've captured an honest agony a Catholic priest would have about not administering final rites. An interesting comparison between him and Reba.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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That's quite a story about the innocent kiss that defrocked the priest. "Hesperus Knows" --Love it. You've captured an honest agony a Catholic priest would have about not administering final rites. An interesting comparison between him and Reba.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Shari. This was one of those 'gift' stories that simply developes without coaxing or coercion. I hope you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
Comment from barkingdog
The people in a cabby's life are like family and the streets are his home. The cab his office.
I enjoyed the tale of Father Francis and wonder now if you'll bring Bill back to tell us more about other lives in the Dumpster.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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The people in a cabby's life are like family and the streets are his home. The cab his office.
I enjoyed the tale of Father Francis and wonder now if you'll bring Bill back to tell us more about other lives in the Dumpster.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Ellen. I am tempted to bring Bill back, but I'm not sure I should. This story arrived unbidden, uncoaxed, uncalculated. It was a gift. I'd hate to force another one.
We'll see. Glad you enjoyed. Peace, Lee
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He'll come back when he's ready. I didn't mean RIGHT NOW! You have so many other characters to revisit. It's amazing how many live in your head.
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It does get noisy up there sometimes.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Of course the follow up was brilliant, I knew it would be. This story I can imagine again being true. Your writing is like that, no frills, just tell it as it is. That makes it so much more enjoyable. How many priests go through life in self denial just because they decide they are unworthy, crikey, most people are, but that is what makes us human, and priests are not an exception to the rule, even if they would like to think they are. A brilliant follow up, Lee, and a well deserved, 6. xsx Sandra
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Of course the follow up was brilliant, I knew it would be. This story I can imagine again being true. Your writing is like that, no frills, just tell it as it is. That makes it so much more enjoyable. How many priests go through life in self denial just because they decide they are unworthy, crikey, most people are, but that is what makes us human, and priests are not an exception to the rule, even if they would like to think they are. A brilliant follow up, Lee, and a well deserved, 6. xsx Sandra
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much, Sandra. I like your take on the hapless ex-priest. This is one of those special stories that simply 'arrive'--unbidden, uncoaxed. A gift.
Thank you for your encouraging comments--and the golden cross. Don't you love the irony? Peace, Lee
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I never thought of that!! I had to laugh, yes it was ironic! LOL.
Comment from Cookie333
This was just a wonderful story my friend, thank you for sharing more of the ex-father. I had hoped and you delivered, just what a great writer does for the reader.
I really enjoyed the language in this piece,
thank you so very much,
karen
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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This was just a wonderful story my friend, thank you for sharing more of the ex-father. I had hoped and you delivered, just what a great writer does for the reader.
I really enjoyed the language in this piece,
thank you so very much,
karen
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Karen. I'm not sure exactly what I delivered--this story was a 'volunteer' the whole way. It felt like I was simply taking dictation. Thanks for your wonderful comments.
Peace, Lee
