Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Taku Moon"Murder Mystery
50 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
A hairball and a pile of threads
A path leads to the church
query filled with chaos
Detective in a lurch
Outstanding dialogue this time
to Carry on the show
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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A hairball and a pile of threads
A path leads to the church
query filled with chaos
Detective in a lurch
Outstanding dialogue this time
to Carry on the show
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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What a delightful poem/review, Norbanus. I especially like the rhyme of church and lurch. That's very clever.
Thanks, as always, my friend.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Dawn Munro
Bev, this story just gets better and better. This particular chapter is so well-described (again), it's like watching a movie! It's chilling too, and particularly gross when they are talking about the contents of Debra's stomach. The dialogue is so real! These characters are so authentic!
Speaking of movies, when you publish, go for the package that includes movie rights, and I'm not kidding.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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Bev, this story just gets better and better. This particular chapter is so well-described (again), it's like watching a movie! It's chilling too, and particularly gross when they are talking about the contents of Debra's stomach. The dialogue is so real! These characters are so authentic!
Speaking of movies, when you publish, go for the package that includes movie rights, and I'm not kidding.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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Dawn, you are so good to me! I really appreciate your awesome review and six stars. Coming from you, I'm especially honored. Hugs, Bev
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Not at all, Bev - the work deserves it! (No kidding, and you must know it does too!) This is a fabulous crime/thriller my friend.
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Aw, thanks, buddy! XXXooooo Bevinator
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Hahahaha - 'Bevinator' now, huh? Suits ya! LOL (not).
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I Have My Moments!! hehehehe
Big Hug, Bev
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Okay, if you say so...though I am having a hard time imagining it! LOL
Comment from chasennov
Along The Jericho Road. 'Taku Moon.' Another splendid chapter you have penned here, and as usual I have very much enjoyed reading this near perfect piece. Well done.
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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Along The Jericho Road. 'Taku Moon.' Another splendid chapter you have penned here, and as usual I have very much enjoyed reading this near perfect piece. Well done.
Comment Written 01-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 01-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much, chasennov. I really appreciate how encouraging and generous you've been with this story. Means a lot to me! Warmest regards, Bev
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You're always most welcome, Bev.
Comment from donkeyoatey
Such a cast of characters, and such a plot..we THINK we "get" it, but do we, or is there another twist on the way? I enjoy the way you describe small things in such a way, we are pulled into the story. Thanks for choosing my artwork. Donkeyoatey
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Such a cast of characters, and such a plot..we THINK we "get" it, but do we, or is there another twist on the way? I enjoy the way you describe small things in such a way, we are pulled into the story. Thanks for choosing my artwork. Donkeyoatey
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much, D. It's gracious of you to send along such an encouraging review. I appreciate the support. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from AprilShower
Very interesting and unusual, Bev. I like the way you showed us the time of the year by showing us the fly at the end of its days.
I enjoyed reading this.
Imagine that, a demon! Well done.
April
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Very interesting and unusual, Bev. I like the way you showed us the time of the year by showing us the fly at the end of its days.
I enjoyed reading this.
Imagine that, a demon! Well done.
April
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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April, thank you for your gracious and very-generous review. I'm truly honored by your support and encouragement. Hugs, Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. I look forward to your chapters.
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You're so sweet, April. Really! :0)
Comment from donaldww
Winter's approach portended annihilation of the insect's brief brush with life.
(Nice alliteration in brief brush.)
Well done post. The prose flowed smoothly and the dialogue is excellent.
It doesn't sound like they're any closer to nabbing the murderer. But if it is a demon, that won't be easy for a bunch of regular cops. They'll need an exorcist (do those people really exist?. Call in Bill Blatty!
Cheers,
DW
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Winter's approach portended annihilation of the insect's brief brush with life.
(Nice alliteration in brief brush.)
Well done post. The prose flowed smoothly and the dialogue is excellent.
It doesn't sound like they're any closer to nabbing the murderer. But if it is a demon, that won't be easy for a bunch of regular cops. They'll need an exorcist (do those people really exist?. Call in Bill Blatty!
Cheers,
DW
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Exorcists do, indeed, exist. The Catholic Church employes a fair number of them and take the whole issue very seriously.
They're getting closer to getting a bead on this guy.
Thanks so much, Donald.
Comment from Joy Graham
Excellent chapter, Bev. I give you six star ratings for this story as often as I'm allowed to. You are doing a fine job of this story. The subject is fascinating. I love that you teach us a little about Indian culture. The murder investigation is fascinating. You keep the reader in suspense. You seem to be well researched and knowledgeable to keep the reader turning the pages. It all feels very real to me. If I were reading this in paperback form I would not be able to put it down and would be anxious to get to the end to see how it all turns out. Your characters are all believable and you have allowed us to like them and care about what happens to them. All except the evil murderer, that is lol! Good job once again, my friend. You are awesome :)
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Excellent chapter, Bev. I give you six star ratings for this story as often as I'm allowed to. You are doing a fine job of this story. The subject is fascinating. I love that you teach us a little about Indian culture. The murder investigation is fascinating. You keep the reader in suspense. You seem to be well researched and knowledgeable to keep the reader turning the pages. It all feels very real to me. If I were reading this in paperback form I would not be able to put it down and would be anxious to get to the end to see how it all turns out. Your characters are all believable and you have allowed us to like them and care about what happens to them. All except the evil murderer, that is lol! Good job once again, my friend. You are awesome :)
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Joy, thank you for this truly touching review. I am humbled and honored by your words, my friend. I have learned so much through the process of writing this novel, and I owe it to the support, suggestions and encouragement of generous friends like you. Thank you seems so inadequate! Hugs, Bev
Comment from barkingdog
It's coming along, Bev. This must have been difficult to write as all of the players discuss the evidence up to this point.
And then you tie in that Father Brian is an exorcist. Nice bit of new. That must be why he hears the demon in his house.
Good job.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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It's coming along, Bev. This must have been difficult to write as all of the players discuss the evidence up to this point.
And then you tie in that Father Brian is an exorcist. Nice bit of new. That must be why he hears the demon in his house.
Good job.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Thank you very much, Ellen. I appreciate your encouragement and support! Hugs, Bev
Comment from Mark Alan Trimeloni
Sheriff Oleson observed a black fly make its way across his desk. Its movements were sluggish, its vigor paling with each moon. Winter's approach portended annihilation of the insect's brief brush with life. Because it was not cursed with this awareness, the fly approached a scattering of crumbs with much the same enthusiasm as its first meal.
The detailed description of this fly is what I am looking for in a good story. You can never spend too much time bringing out the specific elements of a story as opposed to rushing from point to point just to get to the end. I like it. I like it a lot.
"Currently, that is the situation; but things are changing. A batch of younger priests are being trained to take over. I can tell you it's not a moment too soon. I'm not in the kind of shape that handsome young actor from The Exorcist was, and we know what happened to him." His full-throated laugh was pleasant to the ear and Derek started to relax.
I can feel myself relaxing just a little bit myself.
"Don't thank me, Sheriff. If you're involved with a true demon, then I suggest you get on your knees and start to pray. Your world view is about to be shattered."
Got a nice hook here at the end to make me want to read more.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Sheriff Oleson observed a black fly make its way across his desk. Its movements were sluggish, its vigor paling with each moon. Winter's approach portended annihilation of the insect's brief brush with life. Because it was not cursed with this awareness, the fly approached a scattering of crumbs with much the same enthusiasm as its first meal.
The detailed description of this fly is what I am looking for in a good story. You can never spend too much time bringing out the specific elements of a story as opposed to rushing from point to point just to get to the end. I like it. I like it a lot.
"Currently, that is the situation; but things are changing. A batch of younger priests are being trained to take over. I can tell you it's not a moment too soon. I'm not in the kind of shape that handsome young actor from The Exorcist was, and we know what happened to him." His full-throated laugh was pleasant to the ear and Derek started to relax.
I can feel myself relaxing just a little bit myself.
"Don't thank me, Sheriff. If you're involved with a true demon, then I suggest you get on your knees and start to pray. Your world view is about to be shattered."
Got a nice hook here at the end to make me want to read more.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Thanks so much, Mark Alan, for your thorough and gracious review. I really appreciate your supportive insights and generosity. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from joneau2
There's no doubt why your a top writer. This tale held my interest from beginning to end. The dialogue is crisp ... no extra stuff, just good ole plain realistic conversation every writer strives for, but often falls short. Very well done. A very good read.
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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There's no doubt why your a top writer. This tale held my interest from beginning to end. The dialogue is crisp ... no extra stuff, just good ole plain realistic conversation every writer strives for, but often falls short. Very well done. A very good read.
Comment Written 31-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 31-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much, joneau, for your very gracious and generous review. I'm honored you enjoyed reading my chapter.
Warmest regards, Bev
