Remembering Trayvon
A truth one can't easily rationalize.9 total reviews
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Mike,
You know I am not a fan of long poetry but this one is so intriguing that I had to finish it. You have a solid rhyme, a fluid flow, good word selection and the theme is appropriate. Also your author's notes are interesting. Virtual six! Well done, chey
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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Hi Mike,
You know I am not a fan of long poetry but this one is so intriguing that I had to finish it. You have a solid rhyme, a fluid flow, good word selection and the theme is appropriate. Also your author's notes are interesting. Virtual six! Well done, chey
Comment Written 27-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 27-Aug-2013
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I consider this a review of contramand on one that gave me a three and ripped it as boring, non-rhyming and having no flow. There was some funny stuff with this, and hey, I am willing to take my hits on something like this, but it made me wonder if it was simple to fill the reviews to take it off the release page.
I wasn't a fan of writing such a long poem, but this was more a devining process as there were many points to make. I love this review and all thoooseee compliments. Many thanks, Chey.
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I can't believe someone gave you a three (ugh!)
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Two people did and one a four because she said this wasn't a poem. My guts tell me they were spoilers. To be honest, I never worry about ratings, and just ask they be honest; but I was very disappointed in their reviews as even if it isn't liked, still value their considerations. In these cases I couldn't.
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I too am disappointed when I get a review is less than a 5. But it happens and I try not to let me bother me. Take care, chey
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I don't. Usually I don't mine them, but in this case, they were so poor I had to wonder if their only purpose was to be spoilers. I took a vacation and hoped to catch up but my split shift sleep cycle really got in my way. Hope to post and review soon.
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Take care and get more sleep!
Comment from Jean Lutz
My heart broke for Trayvon's mother when this story broke. I looked at the young boy that lost his life and thought of my own grandchildren. What quickly vanished was the video of his mother pleading for calm. That video vanished quicker than smoke as politicians and press moved in. The mother was not even allowed to grieve before the true racists turned it to a tool for their agenda. (Where were the politicians and press when a youth rally was recently held in Chicago -- Let us Live -- and a minister cried there should be a national Amber alert for a generation of lost black youth?) None were there because it was black-on-black and would not benefit political goals or press scoops! The sad truth in the Martin/Zimmermann case is both feared the other which caused hate. It is hearts that need to be changed not more laws. I am glad I took the time to read your Author Notes -- especially the last nine lines. I saw a hero and a youth that recognized a hero!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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My heart broke for Trayvon's mother when this story broke. I looked at the young boy that lost his life and thought of my own grandchildren. What quickly vanished was the video of his mother pleading for calm. That video vanished quicker than smoke as politicians and press moved in. The mother was not even allowed to grieve before the true racists turned it to a tool for their agenda. (Where were the politicians and press when a youth rally was recently held in Chicago -- Let us Live -- and a minister cried there should be a national Amber alert for a generation of lost black youth?) None were there because it was black-on-black and would not benefit political goals or press scoops! The sad truth in the Martin/Zimmermann case is both feared the other which caused hate. It is hearts that need to be changed not more laws. I am glad I took the time to read your Author Notes -- especially the last nine lines. I saw a hero and a youth that recognized a hero!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Yea, but it was a shame it was too late. I know the price my father paid for being outspoken, and in the end, I recognized the virtue in that too, though it is my love poems that get me punished severely, sort of the farce of modern day times.
What bothered me the most is just how the press had no problems with turning Zimmerman into a racist and never retracted their errors, when in fact he had many decent relationships with black youth's including mentoring them.
I find this review to be endearing and love the compliments. I thank you for both as well the genereous rating. God bless, Mike
Comment from boxergirl
Too long for me. It didn't seem to have any rhythm to it. Yes, you had some words that rhymed but it didn't flow for me. A tragic story for sure and there needs to be dialogue about it, but maybe in a different format.
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Too long for me. It didn't seem to have any rhythm to it. Yes, you had some words that rhymed but it didn't flow for me. A tragic story for sure and there needs to be dialogue about it, but maybe in a different format.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
Comment from judelesemann
WOW! I wish you could have written this a little more succinctly...it drags on past the point of boredom. Your thoughts tumbled around from here to there and your description after the fact drags it further. I don't really know whose side you were on here. Sorry, I found it very boring.
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WOW! I wish you could have written this a little more succinctly...it drags on past the point of boredom. Your thoughts tumbled around from here to there and your description after the fact drags it further. I don't really know whose side you were on here. Sorry, I found it very boring.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
Comment from Max Edon
I was very impressed with the amount of detail and background that went into this work. Perhaps this could have been split up into two posts--a poem and an article.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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I was very impressed with the amount of detail and background that went into this work. Perhaps this could have been split up into two posts--a poem and an article.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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I thank you very much for this review, the generous rating and the rating. In a sense it was split up as the poem conveyed my direct thoughts and the notes, what I thought about as well the inspiration. They are more related to the poem, and I felt wouldn't make as good a stand alone post. Again thanks.
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You are welcome
Comment from gene roush
Your take and the story behind your writing was revealing and added to your poem.
You've opened an avenue of dialogue that is an important one for our society to enter into.
My opinion is that under the law, Zimmerman was justified in his response.
The debate then becomes is the law just?
thanks for sharing
Gene
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Your take and the story behind your writing was revealing and added to your poem.
You've opened an avenue of dialogue that is an important one for our society to enter into.
My opinion is that under the law, Zimmerman was justified in his response.
The debate then becomes is the law just?
thanks for sharing
Gene
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Most people misunderstand Stand Your Ground, it is not a right to commit murder, but simply places the burden on the authorities to prove your were in the wrong, where as where I live, it is the act, not the intent that is illegal and places the burden on myself to prove I was right, which is ignored anyway. What got me with this is, it wasn't a stand your ground case. I feel it is this dialog and consideration that society needs to argue to get control of a lot of bad crime situations. I appreciate this review and thank you for the compliments. Mike
Comment from Kingsland
This was put in the wrong category, as it is not a poem, it's an article. A well written article but not a poem. No one know what really happened that night but Trayvon and Zimmermen. Trayvon could not tell his story. The prosecution did a piss poor job in this trial. So a man that shot an unarmed child got away with it. Why is it necessary for a neighbor watch person to carry a gun. I think that is wrong in the first place. They should not be allowed to carry fire arms. They do not have authority like the police and only something bad can happen. The proof is right there in this case. Zimmermen should have been charged with manslaughter, not murder. The evidence did show manslaughter, as far as I was concerned. I should give this less than a five star review as it is not a poem. But for me it is still worthy of a five star review because of how well written it was... John
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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This was put in the wrong category, as it is not a poem, it's an article. A well written article but not a poem. No one know what really happened that night but Trayvon and Zimmermen. Trayvon could not tell his story. The prosecution did a piss poor job in this trial. So a man that shot an unarmed child got away with it. Why is it necessary for a neighbor watch person to carry a gun. I think that is wrong in the first place. They should not be allowed to carry fire arms. They do not have authority like the police and only something bad can happen. The proof is right there in this case. Zimmermen should have been charged with manslaughter, not murder. The evidence did show manslaughter, as far as I was concerned. I should give this less than a five star review as it is not a poem. But for me it is still worthy of a five star review because of how well written it was... John
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Let me assure you, the bad people don't think twice about possessing a weapon. No we weren't there, but I felt the trial was just in showing the evidence. I pray either teen or adult, no one every finds themselves in such situations and I came so close to both.
I live in Baltimore which has some of the highest crime and aggressive people you can meet. On the streets my goal is to remain alive and yet not be a part of something unjust as my only belief in use of force and hands can be just as bad as a gun. I attended the Frank Zappa Manifesto, that celebration and discussion of the first amendment and for lack of the second, robbed at knife point and stabbed. I found the police a couple of minutes afterwards, to be informed I had to go to headquarters as it was a civil complaint, not a crime that needed to be called in requiring immediate attention. I begged them because I knew what people those robbers were. It would take two years, but I believe they were the same two who stabbed to death a college student who worked two jobs, for the sin of trying to get them away from his girl friend. Had the police reacted, I know we would have them and with a switchblade, would have been a long federal sentence. Considering some of my DNA could have been on the evidence, homicide still didn't want to talk to me because, "I was still alive."
I only ask that you rate it as you see fit and am prepared to take my hits with this one. Yet somehow this poem had a powerful effect on you so I thank you for the review. Mike
Comment from mrsmajor
This was not a poem, it was a rant...however your have every right to let your thoughts be known...because of the lack of poetic excellence, I cannot give 5 stars...You wrote a story that did not belong in the area of Poetry...
In my opinion!
A child was murdered by Zimmerman...Period!
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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This was not a poem, it was a rant...however your have every right to let your thoughts be known...because of the lack of poetic excellence, I cannot give 5 stars...You wrote a story that did not belong in the area of Poetry...
In my opinion!
A child was murdered by Zimmerman...Period!
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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I am left wondering how I got a review from an account that was unavailable? I disagree because for the last two weeks I have put my heart, soul and spirit into this. I accept this review.
Unavailable? it was there to be read and review...and that's what I did...
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Not the poem, but the member information and name.
Comment from chasennov
'Remembering Trayvon.' Nothing tragic on this Earth can be rationalized. Things like these should not happen to the worst of families. This boy was just that. A boy! Well done.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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'Remembering Trayvon.' Nothing tragic on this Earth can be rationalized. Things like these should not happen to the worst of families. This boy was just that. A boy! Well done.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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True, but the problem was he made a man's decision. I sort of bear the lucky to be alive stamp myself. I agree, but life isn't always like that. On another front I am fighting against the perversion of adults using children to commit acts of terrorism. I thank you for your review and the compliments. Mike
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You're most welcome, Mike, and thank you.
