Disappearance of Gregg
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Jim, Gregg's Friend Stops By"Trisha and Gregg move to a remote Cabin for work
5 total reviews
Comment from misscookie
Another great chapter this woman ids getting to me. I knoe fear will take away your strength and mind , but there comes a time you must leave this creature because he ha demons in him and he's not himself. leave before he kills you woman.
you see you got me into this story.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Another great chapter this woman ids getting to me. I knoe fear will take away your strength and mind , but there comes a time you must leave this creature because he ha demons in him and he's not himself. leave before he kills you woman.
you see you got me into this story.
Comment Written 26-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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this is true,
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Jim should never have left and wish all bruised up I am not sure in reality he would have/
Jim, Greggs Friend Stops (Gregg's)
Jim stopped and got out of him truck. (his)
Jim looked shocked, "what in the world is wrong? Is Gregg worse?" (don't tell us he looked shocked. What did his eyes do? period after shocked and capital 'w' on What)
But, right then his wace was snow white, causing his freckles to show up prominently. (face)
I was crying so hard, I could speak. Nothing would come out but my tears. (couldn't)
yelled back at Gregg, "take it easy, ole man. (capital 't' on Take)
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Jim should never have left and wish all bruised up I am not sure in reality he would have/
Jim, Greggs Friend Stops (Gregg's)
Jim stopped and got out of him truck. (his)
Jim looked shocked, "what in the world is wrong? Is Gregg worse?" (don't tell us he looked shocked. What did his eyes do? period after shocked and capital 'w' on What)
But, right then his wace was snow white, causing his freckles to show up prominently. (face)
I was crying so hard, I could speak. Nothing would come out but my tears. (couldn't)
yelled back at Gregg, "take it easy, ole man. (capital 't' on Take)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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thank you so much for your help, doing a little editing, then off to post two more chapters, thank you
Comment from ReaThomas
This was really creepy from the outset! I was pulled into it. You write well and the chapter was splendid, fitting well with your chosen genre. I noticed one mistake:
I was crying so hard, I could speak -- I assume this should be 'couldn't'? Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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This was really creepy from the outset! I was pulled into it. You write well and the chapter was splendid, fitting well with your chosen genre. I noticed one mistake:
I was crying so hard, I could speak -- I assume this should be 'couldn't'? Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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thank you, wording on editing and reposting,
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer does a good job of raising the anxiety and the curiosity of the reader. This is a very emotional chapter that draws the reader further into this story. The writer is doing an excellent job of keeping the reader attention in this highly emotional piece. So far so good. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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The writer does a good job of raising the anxiety and the curiosity of the reader. This is a very emotional chapter that draws the reader further into this story. The writer is doing an excellent job of keeping the reader attention in this highly emotional piece. So far so good. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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thank you so much, two chapters tomorrow
Comment from joneau2
Yes, I'm still wondering what is happening to Gregg. This is such a short passage, it leaves a lot of speculation. It's hard to believe Jim would just leave. Hopefully, he'll come back.
Several catches: "I was crying so hard, I could speak." - could s/b couldn't. "yelled back at Gregg, "take it easy, ole man ..." "take s/b "Take
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Yes, I'm still wondering what is happening to Gregg. This is such a short passage, it leaves a lot of speculation. It's hard to believe Jim would just leave. Hopefully, he'll come back.
Several catches: "I was crying so hard, I could speak." - could s/b couldn't. "yelled back at Gregg, "take it easy, ole man ..." "take s/b "Take
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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thank you more tomorrow
