A Picture's Worth a Thousand Poems
Viewing comments for Chapter 9 "~A Warrior's Call~"A compilation of pictapoems from my portfolio
61 total reviews
Comment from Dorothy Farrell
A really powerful and vivid description of a call to arms - Celtic warriors, how brave they were and to intimidate their opponents would paint their bodies, etc. But as I read this poem, especially the last two lines, I believe it could be any battle up to the present. Bravery is present in any war. Beautifully presented. I have not clicked your water charity indicator as I give an annual donation for Water in the third world. A worthy cause! Regards Dorothy
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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A really powerful and vivid description of a call to arms - Celtic warriors, how brave they were and to intimidate their opponents would paint their bodies, etc. But as I read this poem, especially the last two lines, I believe it could be any battle up to the present. Bravery is present in any war. Beautifully presented. I have not clicked your water charity indicator as I give an annual donation for Water in the third world. A worthy cause! Regards Dorothy
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Well, that is very nice, Dorothy, thank you!
I am very happy to know that you enjoyed this poem...
Comment from Righteous Riter
This piece starts off strong and ends even stronger. This piece makes the reader want to fight whatever battle that they are up against. I like the consistency in the rhyming. The nice flow and the brave message. Good job.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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This piece starts off strong and ends even stronger. This piece makes the reader want to fight whatever battle that they are up against. I like the consistency in the rhyming. The nice flow and the brave message. Good job.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Thank you, RR my brother! As always, I do appreciate it...
Comment from write hand blue
The Celts left no written records so your image of a Celt warrior my be as accurate as any.
Their lack of political sophistication enabled the Romans to eventually subdue them.
We can't judge them by today's standards because it was dangerous times. So it had to be the strongest murderous maniac that became the hero or chief of the clan.
It's now believed that at least 80% of the clan was under some sort of hold by the warrior elite and could have been forced into fighting.
Though I have described a little of the fighting in "The Jersey Hoard" it could only have been like a butchers shop as the Romans carved their way through the massed Celt ranks.
Your poem is up to the standard that we have come to associate with you. And I can find no fault with it.
:)mel.
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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The Celts left no written records so your image of a Celt warrior my be as accurate as any.
Their lack of political sophistication enabled the Romans to eventually subdue them.
We can't judge them by today's standards because it was dangerous times. So it had to be the strongest murderous maniac that became the hero or chief of the clan.
It's now believed that at least 80% of the clan was under some sort of hold by the warrior elite and could have been forced into fighting.
Though I have described a little of the fighting in "The Jersey Hoard" it could only have been like a butchers shop as the Romans carved their way through the massed Celt ranks.
Your poem is up to the standard that we have come to associate with you. And I can find no fault with it.
:)mel.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Yes, absolutely, Mel, it was intended that it could be applied to any number of battles that were fought for their native homeland. While the Celt's were fearless and reckless, the Roman Legions were highly organized, extremely battle hardened, and very disciplined. Two polar opposites, and both armies very brave...
Thanks again for that wonderful review!
Comment from CT_Martin
OMG! I've got to tell you a little story before i review this. I woke up at, like, 430 this morning & couldn't get back to sleep. So, i thought i'd get up & read a bit. i had a notice for this one & so i opened it in a new tab while i was finishing reading a chapter by alex. I didn't think at all about the fact that every story i've read, of yours, had a picture & soundtrack to it. well, i keep the volume all the way up because a lot of the movies that i get need to be cranked & usually around 9 or 10 i'll plug in the headphones so i don't wake mom up. Well, ba da dum dum ba da dum dum! starts blasting really really loud. lol i freakin panicked. jumped up started bouncing in place, hands fluttering. i'm still half asleep. it took my mind a moment to comprehend what was going on. i finally got the sound down & ran & jumped into my bed. i was laying there whispering, "it was only a dream, mom, it was only a dream, mom". LoL i waited a while to be sure the coast was clear & now i'm about to read your new story, here.
Another gem, my friend. I havn't read a whole lot of poetry that tells a story as well as this one did. I could smell the blood & hear the savage battle as it raged. As i read, my mind's eye was picturing two people kind of back and forth beseeching their fellows. One of them was the crazy warrior from Braveheart. The other was the guy that tells the story in the movie 300.
Just thought i'd mention that you've just recieved my first 6 star rating! WooHoo! A milestone moment for the both of us..or me anyways. ;)
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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OMG! I've got to tell you a little story before i review this. I woke up at, like, 430 this morning & couldn't get back to sleep. So, i thought i'd get up & read a bit. i had a notice for this one & so i opened it in a new tab while i was finishing reading a chapter by alex. I didn't think at all about the fact that every story i've read, of yours, had a picture & soundtrack to it. well, i keep the volume all the way up because a lot of the movies that i get need to be cranked & usually around 9 or 10 i'll plug in the headphones so i don't wake mom up. Well, ba da dum dum ba da dum dum! starts blasting really really loud. lol i freakin panicked. jumped up started bouncing in place, hands fluttering. i'm still half asleep. it took my mind a moment to comprehend what was going on. i finally got the sound down & ran & jumped into my bed. i was laying there whispering, "it was only a dream, mom, it was only a dream, mom". LoL i waited a while to be sure the coast was clear & now i'm about to read your new story, here.
Another gem, my friend. I havn't read a whole lot of poetry that tells a story as well as this one did. I could smell the blood & hear the savage battle as it raged. As i read, my mind's eye was picturing two people kind of back and forth beseeching their fellows. One of them was the crazy warrior from Braveheart. The other was the guy that tells the story in the movie 300.
Just thought i'd mention that you've just recieved my first 6 star rating! WooHoo! A milestone moment for the both of us..or me anyways. ;)
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Hah! Well, now you know, if you happen to see a notice that Dean Kuch has new writing online, you might want to think about turning the sound down, just a bit...LOL!
Thanks for handing me your first, sixer, too, my friend, I am humbled! I'm glad you envisioned it that way. I was thinking of those two movies when I went I wrote it.
Comment from RGstar
I love this. Heritage, valor and ownership are attributes of the highest order wherever bravery and commitment raise heads.
for a moment I almost believed I was in the midst of it all myself.
This poem strengthened ones belief in heroes and courage as seems a dying art.
Your rhythm was spot on. It wobbled a couple of times without proper usage of the punctuation marks, but even without that I was able to read fluently without retracing.
Thee is a time for heroes and a belief in stance in all eons of life and cultures even today. The form has changed but there is still desire, so thank you for bringing out the desire and letting us feel it still exist.
Great piece of work. You have my 6 for its artistic interpretation, as well as its profound dialect language which not only suited the piece but attributed mainly top it
Great work,
RGstar
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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I love this. Heritage, valor and ownership are attributes of the highest order wherever bravery and commitment raise heads.
for a moment I almost believed I was in the midst of it all myself.
This poem strengthened ones belief in heroes and courage as seems a dying art.
Your rhythm was spot on. It wobbled a couple of times without proper usage of the punctuation marks, but even without that I was able to read fluently without retracing.
Thee is a time for heroes and a belief in stance in all eons of life and cultures even today. The form has changed but there is still desire, so thank you for bringing out the desire and letting us feel it still exist.
Great piece of work. You have my 6 for its artistic interpretation, as well as its profound dialect language which not only suited the piece but attributed mainly top it
Great work,
RGstar
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 26-Aug-2013
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Thank you so much, RGstar, that is very kind of you to say. I do appreciate your most gracious review...
Comment from Sueellen11
Outstanding my poet friend, this is excellent oh how I love the tale of Celtic, Viking histories,you did not disappoint here, totally captivated what a read and presentation, excellent entry into the contest, good luck, blessings, sueellen
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Outstanding my poet friend, this is excellent oh how I love the tale of Celtic, Viking histories,you did not disappoint here, totally captivated what a read and presentation, excellent entry into the contest, good luck, blessings, sueellen
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you very much Sueellen, I am very happy to know that you liked this one!
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Like it I loved it, boy your graphics so add, added wow factor to your writes, i cant even add my picture to my profile, it mucks up my poem page, every time I open a poem, my picture and book cover is added to my poems, you are so talented, writing and art work , blessings sue
Comment from DR DIP
YOU ARE BLOODY GOOD!..how can I not sneak back to see my mentor and marvel at his perfection..I have run out of 7's!
your presentation is amazing it is so anthemic its a battle cry!
don't tell anyone I slipped back to spy! lol
as always your friend dip
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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YOU ARE BLOODY GOOD!..how can I not sneak back to see my mentor and marvel at his perfection..I have run out of 7's!
your presentation is amazing it is so anthemic its a battle cry!
don't tell anyone I slipped back to spy! lol
as always your friend dip
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Sh-h-h-h-h-h-h...I won't, my friend. It must not be that good, it just got a four star review. I was really proud of this piece, but had to do some revamping.
So, did you like your new & improved Take a dip: A Shark's Tail poem? I wrote it straight from the heart. You know, all in good fun & all, heh heh. I'm glad you popped back in. I've turned several people onto your page...
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You are a true friend Dean. You have qualities that I so embrace in a human being..always stay humble in success and show humility in defeat
I wrote a poem called "what is a friend" I must find it apost it n facebook for you!1
as always dip
Comment from rama devi
Second review
Excellent edits. I forgot to mention that the font is quite small and not easy to read when juxtaposed on the background artwork. Suggest making a larger font, if it will fit.
First review (FOUR stars)
Very eloquent and rich in emotional intensity. the rhyming is great and the flow superb except for a couple of lines (noted below i reviewing notes).
It's hard to give my usual in-depth review without being able to copy and past the text in for reference - so I'll quote S for stanza and L for line.
Overall, this is truly exceptional with masterful application of poetic devices like alliteration, consonance, assonance and internal rhyme. Normally I would quote all these line by line, but it would take too much time.
The reason for the four is due to 1) some scansion/flow issues and 2) some spag issues - but otherwise, this leans toward a six-star-caliber write. Bravo!
Reviewing NOTES
In S1 L2 the comma after I AM seems inaccurate and gives a choppy flow. However, I understand you might have wanted a pause there. Maybe a dash would be more apt? Just a thought.
In S2 L3 the word ashen seems off-scansion to me; read aloud, it has an 'extra beat' that throws the rhythm off.
In S3 L3 the scansion also sounds forced and the cadence off-meter.
Maligned and behind--very cleverly rhymed!
In S4 L4, the scansion seems off as well. Also, I think horses needs an apostrophe: horse's
Stanza five has superb alliteration on F!
S6 L2 the comma usage seems off. Suggestion:
not one alive their ilk can match ours in eternity
The reverse syntax here makes the line sounds forced, IMHO
In the last two lines it sounds like a new sentence but the caps are off - S6 L3 should be capped on first letter and L4 should not be capped.
That said, I read a second time and there seem to be many lines where capitalization is off.
Enjoyed the musicality in this. Would love to see some fine tuning and tweaking so this poem lives up to its full potential. Please do let me know if you make edits.
Warmly, rd
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Second review
Excellent edits. I forgot to mention that the font is quite small and not easy to read when juxtaposed on the background artwork. Suggest making a larger font, if it will fit.
First review (FOUR stars)
Very eloquent and rich in emotional intensity. the rhyming is great and the flow superb except for a couple of lines (noted below i reviewing notes).
It's hard to give my usual in-depth review without being able to copy and past the text in for reference - so I'll quote S for stanza and L for line.
Overall, this is truly exceptional with masterful application of poetic devices like alliteration, consonance, assonance and internal rhyme. Normally I would quote all these line by line, but it would take too much time.
The reason for the four is due to 1) some scansion/flow issues and 2) some spag issues - but otherwise, this leans toward a six-star-caliber write. Bravo!
Reviewing NOTES
In S1 L2 the comma after I AM seems inaccurate and gives a choppy flow. However, I understand you might have wanted a pause there. Maybe a dash would be more apt? Just a thought.
In S2 L3 the word ashen seems off-scansion to me; read aloud, it has an 'extra beat' that throws the rhythm off.
In S3 L3 the scansion also sounds forced and the cadence off-meter.
Maligned and behind--very cleverly rhymed!
In S4 L4, the scansion seems off as well. Also, I think horses needs an apostrophe: horse's
Stanza five has superb alliteration on F!
S6 L2 the comma usage seems off. Suggestion:
not one alive their ilk can match ours in eternity
The reverse syntax here makes the line sounds forced, IMHO
In the last two lines it sounds like a new sentence but the caps are off - S6 L3 should be capped on first letter and L4 should not be capped.
That said, I read a second time and there seem to be many lines where capitalization is off.
Enjoyed the musicality in this. Would love to see some fine tuning and tweaking so this poem lives up to its full potential. Please do let me know if you make edits.
Warmly, rd
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thank you so very much, rama devi, that is precisely the sort of feedback I needed. I have made the suggested edits you so kindly recommended, and in addition, shored up a few things a bit more.
Thank you for taking the time to do an in depth survey of this work, and I sincerely hope I have made it , at the very least, worthy of a five star review for the next readers that happen across it.
Thanks so much, again...
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Thanks for your gracious reply to my critique-review and I will be happy to make a second review momentarily. So pleased you liked the suggestions and thanks for your mature attitude about reviewing, in general!
Warmly, rd
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Uh oh-the Fanstory Editor is playing tricks with you, I think. I went to re-review and it has no poetic text -only this:
a href="http://s627.photobucket.com/user/PlasmaSprayer/media/Warriorcanvass001-001.jpg.html" target="_blank">
Let me know when it's fixed.
Warmly, rd
Comment from country ranch writer
THEY WERE A UNREFINED BUNCH NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD FIGHTING AND CARRYING ON . THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND SCREECHING THEIR BATTLE CRY FOR THEY KNOW THE END IS NEAR AND NO ONE WILL SHED A TEAR OVER THEM
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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THEY WERE A UNREFINED BUNCH NOT A CARE IN THE WORLD FIGHTING AND CARRYING ON . THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND SCREECHING THEIR BATTLE CRY FOR THEY KNOW THE END IS NEAR AND NO ONE WILL SHED A TEAR OVER THEM
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Yes, it's quite sad, isn't it CRW? Thanks so much for your read and review of this one!
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YES IT IS AND YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME MY FRIEND
Comment from Liz Dunbee
Sometimes there is not very much to say when one reads a poem of this quality. I think the six stars say it all. The music is amazing and your layout and graphics are superb.
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Sometimes there is not very much to say when one reads a poem of this quality. I think the six stars say it all. The music is amazing and your layout and graphics are superb.
Comment Written 25-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 25-Aug-2013
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Thanks so much, Liz. I did work really, REALLY hard on this one late into the night. Lots of research on Celtic tribes and lore, finding and tweaking just the right music, layout and font to make it all readable. Plus, I had the movie 'BRAVEHEART' playing in the background for inspiration. ...these 'pictapoems' are really draining to create. But, people seem to like them, so I will keep trying to do my best to deliver an entertaining piece.
Thanks so much, again, for all of your support.
