Pale Sisters
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "Prism"Science fiction.
16 total reviews
Comment from DLBoo
Nice sci-fi. I do find the different color script to be some what of a distraction when reading though and have no idea why you have it. I find it unnecessary. I will continue reading on. This is the first of your chapters i have read, it has good connective flow.
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2017
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Nice sci-fi. I do find the different color script to be some what of a distraction when reading though and have no idea why you have it. I find it unnecessary. I will continue reading on. This is the first of your chapters i have read, it has good connective flow.
Comment Written 13-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 13-Apr-2017
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Thanks, DL, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Ulla
Hi Bill, this is a very informative chapter and there is a lot to take in. It's a great story and a great theme. One suggestion would be to break up all the telling with some dialogue or maybe something happening and then continue with the narrative. I like the story, though. I hope you don't take any offence. All the best. Ulla:))
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
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Hi Bill, this is a very informative chapter and there is a lot to take in. It's a great story and a great theme. One suggestion would be to break up all the telling with some dialogue or maybe something happening and then continue with the narrative. I like the story, though. I hope you don't take any offence. All the best. Ulla:))
Comment Written 12-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 12-Apr-2017
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I enjoy coments that lok to improve my writing. I typically push out vague information and then enlighten the reader a couple chapters later. I often find in my own reading that this compells me to find out what's going on. I know you do the same thing. I still haven't found out whether the neighbor lady did it or not.
Comment from kriver
Hi Bill,
Your write has an intriguing story line
Good fantasy I think young teens
would love it and would be appropriate for them except the sexual parts
other than that I think it would be good for that age group.
Best regards,
K River
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
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Hi Bill,
Your write has an intriguing story line
Good fantasy I think young teens
would love it and would be appropriate for them except the sexual parts
other than that I think it would be good for that age group.
Best regards,
K River
Comment Written 10-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 10-Apr-2017
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Thank you, k, for the kind review. Bill
Comment from nomi338
You deserve stars for coming up with such a complicated storyline. I nearly got a headache just reading it. Your head must be over large to have a brain advanced to such a degree. LOL. This story is not only complex, it rivals some of the most ambitious ones devised yet. very good sir.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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You deserve stars for coming up with such a complicated storyline. I nearly got a headache just reading it. Your head must be over large to have a brain advanced to such a degree. LOL. This story is not only complex, it rivals some of the most ambitious ones devised yet. very good sir.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you, nomi, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from Thomas Bowling
A very interesting story. I thought the multi-colored text was an homage to Easter until I read the story. Clever dual purpose maybe?
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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A very interesting story. I thought the multi-colored text was an homage to Easter until I read the story. Clever dual purpose maybe?
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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With the updating, narration, and dialogue, I figured the colors would help.
Comment from mbroyles2
Seems like things are heating up.
There is a lot to absorb in this chapter and you do a great job providing us in depth details.
Great suspense.
Michael
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Seems like things are heating up.
There is a lot to absorb in this chapter and you do a great job providing us in depth details.
Great suspense.
Michael
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Michael, for giving this a look. Bill
Comment from Thal1959
A very interesting story - as much as I could follow, not having read any previous chapters. There is nothing wrong with the writing or grammar, though I did have to look up "emplace" in the online dictionary.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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A very interesting story - as much as I could follow, not having read any previous chapters. There is nothing wrong with the writing or grammar, though I did have to look up "emplace" in the online dictionary.
Comment Written 09-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Thal, for reviewing this. Bill
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You're welcome, Bill - it was my pleasure.
Comment from Nikki-Nicole
'Prism'- the title grabbed my attention, but not as much as the story did.
This chapter pulls the reader in and HOLDS them there.
This book is going to be one that the reader will NOT put down.
Thanks for the recap in the beginning lines.
Thanks for sharing this.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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'Prism'- the title grabbed my attention, but not as much as the story did.
This chapter pulls the reader in and HOLDS them there.
This book is going to be one that the reader will NOT put down.
Thanks for the recap in the beginning lines.
Thanks for sharing this.
Good luck with your future writing!
-Nicole-
Comment Written 08-Apr-2017
reply by the author on 08-Apr-2017
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Thank you, Nicole, for the excellent review. Bill
Comment from barkingdog
I enjoyed reading the intricate explaination of how the Kolk, an advanced extra-terresteral race, became linked with humans.
I take it that Sophia was one of them and was killed for that reason. 'the Kolk was trying to prevent this process from reaching fruition. They were actively intercepting the genetic carriers, who were of Kolk descent, and removing them from the chemical equation.'
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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I enjoyed reading the intricate explaination of how the Kolk, an advanced extra-terresteral race, became linked with humans.
I take it that Sophia was one of them and was killed for that reason. 'the Kolk was trying to prevent this process from reaching fruition. They were actively intercepting the genetic carriers, who were of Kolk descent, and removing them from the chemical equation.'
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thank you for reviewing. Yes, Sophia lives in the disembodied spirit realm of the Kolk now. She was unaware that she was one of their lineage.
Comment from Righteous Riter
I did this backwards but it wasn't my fault. After reading this chapter, I see how this chapter set up for the following chapter which is alone brilliant to me. This chapter kept my attention from beginning to end as I see nothing that calls out for correction. It a pleasure to read such quality work.
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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I did this backwards but it wasn't my fault. After reading this chapter, I see how this chapter set up for the following chapter which is alone brilliant to me. This chapter kept my attention from beginning to end as I see nothing that calls out for correction. It a pleasure to read such quality work.
Comment Written 02-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 02-Sep-2013
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Thank you very much for following and for the positive review. Bill
