The Woman Of Discontent
A weird poem I wrote inspired by Yasue's Surreal artwork.82 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This free verse poem does sort of grasp the liquid nature of this graphic and give it some type of meaning in its golden gelatin state.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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This free verse poem does sort of grasp the liquid nature of this graphic and give it some type of meaning in its golden gelatin state.
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you Bill.
Comment from costellsgirl33
She in indeed a sorrow-eyed lady. You hit the nail on the head with that line. This was great writing. It wasn't weird to me at all. I really enjoyed it. Its been great to read how so many different spins writers have put on this painting. Great job
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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She in indeed a sorrow-eyed lady. You hit the nail on the head with that line. This was great writing. It wasn't weird to me at all. I really enjoyed it. Its been great to read how so many different spins writers have put on this painting. Great job
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you Costells.
Comment from Steve Pantazis
This is the sixth poem with this woman's picture, and I swore when I saw the fifth, I was going to shoot myself. Well, the damn chamber of my pistol is jammed, so it looks like I'm going to have to wait until the seventh. Other than that, your poem is fine. :)
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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This is the sixth poem with this woman's picture, and I swore when I saw the fifth, I was going to shoot myself. Well, the damn chamber of my pistol is jammed, so it looks like I'm going to have to wait until the seventh. Other than that, your poem is fine. :)
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you Steve.
Comment from Write Right Writer
Justin...
I like your work. It's quite fitting, given your subject matter and inspiration.
Your first and last lines are my favorites. 'The disembodied head of the strange, sorrow-eyed lady' is a strong opening line. It captures attention and announces your theme, establishing a clear direction for the rest of your creation. Your last line, 'For it is a world created by the eternal energies of the imagination' brings great closure to this surreal experience. Both the message and the alliteration of your phrase 'eternal energies' are powerful and descriptive. Kudos.
From a literary viewpoint, the direction of your work is strong and you were true to your theme throughout. Your content is concise and flows nicely from thought to thought, with nothing wasted or sacrificed on the altar of rhyme.
Technically speaking, rhythm and meter are not an issue in your somewhat avant-garde, free form structure but you held true to your rhyming couplets format throughout.
Well done, my friend. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work.
Blessings...
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Justin...
I like your work. It's quite fitting, given your subject matter and inspiration.
Your first and last lines are my favorites. 'The disembodied head of the strange, sorrow-eyed lady' is a strong opening line. It captures attention and announces your theme, establishing a clear direction for the rest of your creation. Your last line, 'For it is a world created by the eternal energies of the imagination' brings great closure to this surreal experience. Both the message and the alliteration of your phrase 'eternal energies' are powerful and descriptive. Kudos.
From a literary viewpoint, the direction of your work is strong and you were true to your theme throughout. Your content is concise and flows nicely from thought to thought, with nothing wasted or sacrificed on the altar of rhyme.
Technically speaking, rhythm and meter are not an issue in your somewhat avant-garde, free form structure but you held true to your rhyming couplets format throughout.
Well done, my friend. I enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work.
Blessings...
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you Writer.
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You are welcome, Justin. Hope my comments were helpful and encouraging to you.
I have a request and need your help. I don't know how you felt about my review but if it was helpful or of value, a reviewer nomination from you (if deserved) would be quite helpful as I need one more nomination to move to the next level.
If you've already done so, thank you so much. If not, thanks in advance (assuming it was indeed worthy of a nomination).
Blessings...
WRW (Curt)
Comment from Tonulak
Creating the world before creation, letting fish fly and stars swim....Who's to say? Always interesting to do surrealism...you can't make a mistake:) Very creative--Ted
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Creating the world before creation, letting fish fly and stars swim....Who's to say? Always interesting to do surrealism...you can't make a mistake:) Very creative--Ted
Comment Written 22-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you Ted.
Comment from Dean Kuch
The eternal energies of the imagination... I like the way in which you phrased that, Justin. Very beautifully said, my friend...
You piece was fantastic. Simple, yet complex. Thrilling, yet thought provoking. The eloquent word choices you utilized were perfect.
This was simply an excellent poem, all the way around!
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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The eternal energies of the imagination... I like the way in which you phrased that, Justin. Very beautifully said, my friend...
You piece was fantastic. Simple, yet complex. Thrilling, yet thought provoking. The eloquent word choices you utilized were perfect.
This was simply an excellent poem, all the way around!
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you Dean.
Comment from mauial
It does indeed look like a disembodied head floating in as you write here, and aquatic sky. I think you used good imagination in your interpretation of the art for this prompt. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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It does indeed look like a disembodied head floating in as you write here, and aquatic sky. I think you used good imagination in your interpretation of the art for this prompt. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you Mauial.
Comment from GWinterwin
Good words to tell of the disembodied lady. Floating in space it seems, with no real or logical rational. A world of imagination and fantasy.
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Good words to tell of the disembodied lady. Floating in space it seems, with no real or logical rational. A world of imagination and fantasy.
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 22-Aug-2013
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Thank you Winterwin.
Comment from 9999pool
A woman of discontent is also a woman of many faces if not scorn.
The feelings and emotions in her mind can astounded and speak much of evil thoughts too.
The blame game and the imagery she sees is bleak and dark. Bones and death become prominent in those moments of discontent and despair.
good write and well penned.
cheerio, Ritchie. Good luck. :))
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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A woman of discontent is also a woman of many faces if not scorn.
The feelings and emotions in her mind can astounded and speak much of evil thoughts too.
The blame game and the imagery she sees is bleak and dark. Bones and death become prominent in those moments of discontent and despair.
good write and well penned.
cheerio, Ritchie. Good luck. :))
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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Thank you Ritchie.
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
The disembodied head
Of the strange, sorrow-eyed lady. good line
Looks upon a world.
That is clearly crazy. 'c' alliteration
A world where stars 'w' alliteration
Are inverted in the aquatic sky. good line
A world where the fishes stream through,
These celestial bodies as they pass by.
A world that holds no ground
In logical rationalizations.
For it is a world created by 'world' is a bit repetitious
The eternal energies of the imagination. LOVE this line
A good effort.
Regards:
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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The disembodied head
Of the strange, sorrow-eyed lady. good line
Looks upon a world.
That is clearly crazy. 'c' alliteration
A world where stars 'w' alliteration
Are inverted in the aquatic sky. good line
A world where the fishes stream through,
These celestial bodies as they pass by.
A world that holds no ground
In logical rationalizations.
For it is a world created by 'world' is a bit repetitious
The eternal energies of the imagination. LOVE this line
A good effort.
Regards:
Comment Written 21-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 21-Aug-2013
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Thanks Stephen.
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Well deserved. Just posted 'Little Grey Cells' and "Behind the Door'. Thanks.
Respectfully: Steve C
