The Torment of If
a twisted illusion43 total reviews
Comment from Kiki12
Wow, I love this verse, and I'm sorry I don't have a six left to give you. What truth you write in this beautifully metered verse. those pesky, nagging, 'if's that creep in and cloud reality. I like the art choice, as well, it is a fairy tale of sorts, you could write a children's tale and name the fairy 'If' :)
xx
Kiki
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2013
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Wow, I love this verse, and I'm sorry I don't have a six left to give you. What truth you write in this beautifully metered verse. those pesky, nagging, 'if's that creep in and cloud reality. I like the art choice, as well, it is a fairy tale of sorts, you could write a children's tale and name the fairy 'If' :)
xx
Kiki
Comment Written 17-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2013
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Nice to meet you too, Kiki.
Thank you for the wonderful comments about my poem and I'm flattered that you would consider it worth six stars. No worries, your comments are worth even more than stars. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Funny that you mention the possibility of a children's tale with a fairy named If. I thought about that the other day, but that's as far as I've gotten so far.
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I'm sure it will take shape eventually, have a pen ready :)
xx
Kiki
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Thanks for the encouragement, Kiki. :)
Debi
Comment from lakeport
The torment of it, indeed if? that's a very heartfelt expressed story poem.very nice rhyming, I enjoyed reading it.God bless you.Lakeport.
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2013
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The torment of it, indeed if? that's a very heartfelt expressed story poem.very nice rhyming, I enjoyed reading it.God bless you.Lakeport.
Comment Written 17-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 17-Aug-2013
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Thank you for your insights and the generous review, Lakeport. I appreciate it.
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your welcome.lakeport.
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello w.j.debi
Powerful words telling us readers how it feels to be tormented with things
"If" (we) could change so many things
If only it were real.
Instead it's the height of fantasy
Nice stanza with a lot of meaning.
gert
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2013
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Hello w.j.debi
Powerful words telling us readers how it feels to be tormented with things
"If" (we) could change so many things
If only it were real.
Instead it's the height of fantasy
Nice stanza with a lot of meaning.
gert
Comment Written 16-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2013
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Yes, we sometimes dwell on what IF could do for us, but it can't. Thanks for the generous stars and kind comments.
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You are welcome
Gert
Comment from adewpearl
solid use of abcb rhyming
Effective use of repetition/listing
You make a very thoughtful point about the many excuses we can offer for why we didn't do this or that, as if everything else controls us and never vice versa :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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solid use of abcb rhyming
Effective use of repetition/listing
You make a very thoughtful point about the many excuses we can offer for why we didn't do this or that, as if everything else controls us and never vice versa :-) Brooke
Comment Written 15-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 15-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the generous comments and rating, Brooke. Thank you also for sharing your insights on the topic of IF. You're right about using it as an excuse. I appreciate your thoughts.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
A beautiful poem filled with many could have been's. looking back I would certainly have done things differently. Thank you for this interesting poem.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2013
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A beautiful poem filled with many could have been's. looking back I would certainly have done things differently. Thank you for this interesting poem.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2013
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Thank you for your gracious comments and generous review. I appreciate your reflections on the subject as well. Thank you.
Comment from RPSaxena
Hello W. j. Debi,
What a fantastic and lovely piece of poetry!
It very beautifully and elaborately depicts the power and effects/side effects of 'If'.
Its wording is simple, impressive, having captivating flow with nice rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
Its last stanza is particularly noteworthy.
Marvelous indeed!
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2013
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Hello W. j. Debi,
What a fantastic and lovely piece of poetry!
It very beautifully and elaborately depicts the power and effects/side effects of 'If'.
Its wording is simple, impressive, having captivating flow with nice rhyming scheme and lively imagery.
Its last stanza is particularly noteworthy.
Marvelous indeed!
Comment Written 14-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2013
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Wow, six stars! I am grateful to you for the exceptional six star rating. Even more, I appreciate the time you took to review my poem and comment on the various elements. Thank you so much. You made my day and I'm still smiling!
Comment from Christof McTarnahan
Great rhyme scheme,with a natural flow. I enjoyed this heartfelt piece.I can tell you put a lot into this. I am so glad you shared.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2013
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Great rhyme scheme,with a natural flow. I enjoyed this heartfelt piece.I can tell you put a lot into this. I am so glad you shared.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2013
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Thank you Christof. I appreciate your generous comments and the excellent review.
Comment from mperez
Nice work here. The entire structure of this poem is beautifully done and impressive. The sixth stanza I thought was well done and kept the flow consistent. I praise you for your talent and hope to read more soon.
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2013
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Nice work here. The entire structure of this poem is beautifully done and impressive. The sixth stanza I thought was well done and kept the flow consistent. I praise you for your talent and hope to read more soon.
Comment Written 14-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 14-Aug-2013
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Thank you. I am flattered. I appreciate the excellent review.
Comment from Tomes Johnston
This is an interesting poem that is cunningly crafted by the author. This is a thought provoking piece of writing that the writer tells the reader. This is food for thought indeed. We are all tormented by the word if.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2013
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This is an interesting poem that is cunningly crafted by the author. This is a thought provoking piece of writing that the writer tells the reader. This is food for thought indeed. We are all tormented by the word if.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the excellent review. I appreciate the insights you share on the topic. Thanks for taking time to read and analyze my poem. I appreciate the gracious comments on my work.
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My pleasure.
Comment from watergirl
Well done and nicely created. You are so very right that wanting "if" is just not where we are meant to be, but here, right where we are. Nice content, nice poem.
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2013
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Well done and nicely created. You are so very right that wanting "if" is just not where we are meant to be, but here, right where we are. Nice content, nice poem.
Comment Written 13-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 13-Aug-2013
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Thank you for the gracious comments. Thank you also for sharing your insights on the topic of IF. I appreciate the excellent review. Thank you.
