The sun
A sun feels alone when a cloud comes and friends him.2 total reviews
Comment from 4tun81
Welcome to fanstory. I hope you enjoy your time on this site. Your 5-7-5 is well written and creates an interesting image. Good luck in the contest.
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Welcome to fanstory. I hope you enjoy your time on this site. Your 5-7-5 is well written and creates an interesting image. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 02-Aug-2013
Comment from adewpearl
Your first two lines are in good syllable count
a/cloud/fol/lows/behind is 6 syllables = if you change it to clouds follow behind you will have the required syllable count
good alliteration in sun sits/spring
good consonance of hard C sounds in crispy/sky/cloud
you create a vivid visual
interesting change in mood with your third line :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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Your first two lines are in good syllable count
a/cloud/fol/lows/behind is 6 syllables = if you change it to clouds follow behind you will have the required syllable count
good alliteration in sun sits/spring
good consonance of hard C sounds in crispy/sky/cloud
you create a vivid visual
interesting change in mood with your third line :-) Brooke
Comment Written 02-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 19-Sep-2013
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Thanks everyone for your support :)
