Comment from Gungalo

Excellent

on death's doorstep
bell rings
but too sick to answer

This person must be alone Deb. For most people would not be too sick to answer at all. Good job.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

Thanks :) Debbie

reply by Gungalo on 02-Aug-2013

Smile

Comment from barbara.wilkey

Excellent

This goes with a coffee mug I saw once. I couldn't call in sick so I called in dead. Your poem caused me to smile. I enjoyed reading, cute job.

 Comment Written 01-Aug-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

Thanks-glad you could see the humor in it~Debbie

Comment from Jumbo J

Excellent

Hi Debbie,
no matter how we sugar coat it... That bell's going to ring for us all... To fear not answering the call, maybe that's where faith comes into play. I truly think you nailed this with visual and the right words of acceptance.
Kindest thoughts,
James xx

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

I'm glad you didn't find it too morbid. Death is a part of life, but most people prefer not to think about it. Thanks so much, dear friend~Debbie xx

Comment from barkingdog

Excellent

Now, that's all too close to home for me. I felt exactly like this(too sick to answer the door, the phone) with the flu last month.

Great allitration:
-death's doorstep

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

Thanks so much, Ellen~Debbie

Comment from Dawn Munro

Excellent

Ah, Debbie - once again, intentionally or not, you speak for those who might be unable to speak for themselves. How many seniors could so easily find themselves in this position, for example?

Nicely done, my friend.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

Thank you. I wasn't sure if I should post it or not, but it has had good response. Take care, my friend~Debbie

Comment from tedanytime

Exceptional

This senryu is rather paradoxical...too sick to answer deaths call!

This morbid humor places this verse in a category of its own, deserving of high score.

 Comment Written 31-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

Thanks again, Take care~Debbie

Comment from me_tudor

Excellent

I'm glad for the explanation because I'd hate to think you were feeling that way. But I've been that sick before, not really on death's door but it felt like it.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

Thanks. I thought I should explain so as not to worry anyone~Debbie

Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart

Excellent

Oh wow, this says a lot in a few words. I have no idea when makes it a senryu but that's okay. This is a very nice poem. God loves you and so do I.

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

Thanks so much, my friend. Senryu are supposed to be satirical or ironic. Have a blessed day~Debbie

Comment from JW

Excellent

This is an interesting poem. Too sick to die, hmm.

Unfortunately, that was not the case for a very dear friend of mine who passed on last week - finally losing her battle with cancer.

Thanks for sharing this. JW

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

I am so very sorry you lost your friend. Thanks for reviewing. Take care, Jonathon~Debbie

Comment from Robert Lee Brown

Excellent

Debbie, this is both humorous and serious but not morbid. I like the surprise twist you penned into it. I am not an authority on Senryu poems but have decided to become informed. They seem to be more flexible that some other poetic forms I use. Thank you for sharing this with your friend, Bob

 Comment Written 30-Jul-2013

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reply by the author on 02-Aug-2013

Thank you so much. I am having a lot of fun with them. I look forward to reading yours, my friend~Debbie