Final Goodbye
Couple meet for the last time.19 total reviews
Comment from MelReyn
You fooled me. I thought this was a couple in an affair. Then I thought he was the one dead, but it turns out SHE's the one!
I know nothing about screenplays, so I'm afraid I'm no help there. But I do know a good 'scene' and I think this is great. :)
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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You fooled me. I thought this was a couple in an affair. Then I thought he was the one dead, but it turns out SHE's the one!
I know nothing about screenplays, so I'm afraid I'm no help there. But I do know a good 'scene' and I think this is great. :)
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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If it wasn't already obvious, I know nothing about screenplays either. But I am glad you liked it. Thank you for the encouraging review. Gretchen.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is an important scene ending that is either a sad end to a story or a fascinating beginning to one. It would be a super original beginning to a story.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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This is an important scene ending that is either a sad end to a story or a fascinating beginning to one. It would be a super original beginning to a story.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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You have inspired me to work from here. If I do post a second part, please be so kind as to read and review. I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you for the wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from nancy_e_davis
I think this is the first script I have reviewed. I had to read it several times but I finally got it. A very good story for a play. Well done. Nancy
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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I think this is the first script I have reviewed. I had to read it several times but I finally got it. A very good story for a play. Well done. Nancy
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the wonderful review. Always look forward to hearing from you. Gretchen
Comment from marion
Hi there, GWARGIS
Like that this is your second attempt. One must learn somehow, and it will only be practice that makes good. For me, it doesn't capture essence, it lacks the emotional. It misses something! I hope I haven't been too hard! Marion.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Hi there, GWARGIS
Like that this is your second attempt. One must learn somehow, and it will only be practice that makes good. For me, it doesn't capture essence, it lacks the emotional. It misses something! I hope I haven't been too hard! Marion.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Not too hard at all. I thank you for the honesty in this. I sensed something was not quite about it, but couldn't see it. I thank you for the great review. Gretchen
Comment from Misrael
Even though I don't believe that way it still made for an interesting read and I have to say it kept my attention. Keep up the good work.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Even though I don't believe that way it still made for an interesting read and I have to say it kept my attention. Keep up the good work.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the great review. I always appreciate your honesty. Gretchen
Comment from marre5
I like the unexpected twist. Thought perhaps they were adulterers or otherwise destined to break up. It's good as far as it goes. I guess this qualifies as flash fiction? I personally like more of a story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
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reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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I like the unexpected twist. Thought perhaps they were adulterers or otherwise destined to break up. It's good as far as it goes. I guess this qualifies as flash fiction? I personally like more of a story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much for the honest and wonderful review. Gretchen
Comment from STEPHEN A CARTER
An interesting concept that emerges unexpected at the end. Well done and beautifully executed..simple, no extraneous emotional drivel.
Avoid, " ruffles (as if) a breeze blows. CONSIDER:
(Justin steps closer. As her hair ruffles in an unseen breeze,he touches her cheek.)
Revise: "..towards heaven (Heaven)
Regards:
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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An interesting concept that emerges unexpected at the end. Well done and beautifully executed..simple, no extraneous emotional drivel.
Avoid, " ruffles (as if) a breeze blows. CONSIDER:
(Justin steps closer. As her hair ruffles in an unseen breeze,he touches her cheek.)
Revise: "..towards heaven (Heaven)
Regards:
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the helpful suggestions. I appreciate your honest and helpful review. Gretchen
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Dear Gretchen: As always ready to assist. I forgot, have you read my 2 part bedtime poem for children?
Hugs: Steve C
Comment from wierdgrace
Scrip is not easy, and it can be done many ways, I won a trophy a couple of years ago, and I loved this, so keep it up, well done, and keep writing.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Scrip is not easy, and it can be done many ways, I won a trophy a couple of years ago, and I loved this, so keep it up, well done, and keep writing.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Congrats on your win. And thank you for the nice and encouraging review. Gretchen
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thxs and u r welcome
Comment from DanielEkine
Very touching and beautiful.
The art work does justice to the author's creation.
Great job.
My best part.
"Justin: Sarah, look at me. You know it's true.
Sarah: But I don't want to be alone.
Justin: You won't be, I promise.
Sarah: But I won't be with you.
Justin: Maybe not, but it will be wonderful, I know it. " you captivated the attention of the reader in a remarkable way.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Very touching and beautiful.
The art work does justice to the author's creation.
Great job.
My best part.
"Justin: Sarah, look at me. You know it's true.
Sarah: But I don't want to be alone.
Justin: You won't be, I promise.
Sarah: But I won't be with you.
Justin: Maybe not, but it will be wonderful, I know it. " you captivated the attention of the reader in a remarkable way.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2013
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Thank you for the wonderful and encouraging review.
