All Dressed In White
A guest's point of view89 total reviews
Comment from Roshni M.W.
Wow! That is one seriously original story. The characters you created are very realistic and believable because of the crucial details you added to the story such as the falsetto laugh and the screaming angel. The twist at the end revealing that the narrator is a dog is simply superb. The tension you created in the church was so well done that I could almost feel it. I wrote a piece for this contest as well; however, I believe that your piece is written better. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Wow! That is one seriously original story. The characters you created are very realistic and believable because of the crucial details you added to the story such as the falsetto laugh and the screaming angel. The twist at the end revealing that the narrator is a dog is simply superb. The tension you created in the church was so well done that I could almost feel it. I wrote a piece for this contest as well; however, I believe that your piece is written better. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much! Glad you enjoyed it. I wish you every good luck in the contest!
Jan
Comment from duchessofdrumborg
'All Dressed in White' is a delightfully entertaining piece which had me in fits of laughter. This talented writer's work had me hooked in from the first line. Dog's really are a man's best friend! It was a pleasure to read and review a work of this standard.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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'All Dressed in White' is a delightfully entertaining piece which had me in fits of laughter. This talented writer's work had me hooked in from the first line. Dog's really are a man's best friend! It was a pleasure to read and review a work of this standard.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so very much!
Jan
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Jan, you're very welcome.
Best wishes, the Duchess
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very wel lwritten, janilou, you did an excellent job writing this story about the "dog" that pooped and peed on the bride to be. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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this is very wel lwritten, janilou, you did an excellent job writing this story about the "dog" that pooped and peed on the bride to be. i enjoyed reading it. good luck in the contest
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much! :-)
Jan
Comment from SaluteDobby
Oooh. She does take her job seriously, doesn't she? Good for her. But wasn't there a better way to deal with Angel. Not that I care for her/her character, but burying her without any real provocation? :) Don't get me wrong-I really liked your story a lot!! Kinda sympathizing with the bride-or rather-her dress. :)
All the best with the contest!
I don't mean to nitpick, but am pointing out this spag since this is a contest-Geez, Ed, breath, man. This should be "breathe", not "breath".. am sure this was just a typo. :)
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Oooh. She does take her job seriously, doesn't she? Good for her. But wasn't there a better way to deal with Angel. Not that I care for her/her character, but burying her without any real provocation? :) Don't get me wrong-I really liked your story a lot!! Kinda sympathizing with the bride-or rather-her dress. :)
All the best with the contest!
I don't mean to nitpick, but am pointing out this spag since this is a contest-Geez, Ed, breath, man. This should be "breathe", not "breath".. am sure this was just a typo. :)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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LOL Glad you enjoyed it and I very much appreciate you pointing out the spag/typo. That's what reviewers are for!
:-)
Jan
Comment from The Death
Hello
It's a very interesting story,and narrating it from Cindi's view makes it more interesting..she indeed was Ed's bodyguard and scared away the ones who tried to use him..though not sure about Angel..she must be jealous and that's why she buried her
in the yard..lol..and it would have been such a funny scene at the church.She would have enjoyed it the most..hehe..you did an amazing narration.
Good luck
Regards
Shar-A
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Hello
It's a very interesting story,and narrating it from Cindi's view makes it more interesting..she indeed was Ed's bodyguard and scared away the ones who tried to use him..though not sure about Angel..she must be jealous and that's why she buried her
in the yard..lol..and it would have been such a funny scene at the church.She would have enjoyed it the most..hehe..you did an amazing narration.
Good luck
Regards
Shar-A
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much! I deeply appreciate your kind words.
Jan
Comment from Treischel
I really like the folksy way you insert humor into this piece. It really adds color. Great premise with the wedding jilt. Then she shows. Fabulous touch having a female bodyguard. Never saw the dog twist coming at all. Great story!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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I really like the folksy way you insert humor into this piece. It really adds color. Great premise with the wedding jilt. Then she shows. Fabulous touch having a female bodyguard. Never saw the dog twist coming at all. Great story!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much! So glad you enjoyed it.
Jan
Comment from barkingdog
Great one. Man's best friend was only doing his job as body guard.
I see now why there was no dialogue coming from the POV. His aside comments are priceless: 'Give me a break'
'Naw, ya think?''
'Angel of death, maybe.'
I wondered why Ed tousled the POV's hair. When the tail wagged, there was my answer.
I'm still smiling that he tried to bury her in the back yard after he tranquilized her. Smart pooch.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Great one. Man's best friend was only doing his job as body guard.
I see now why there was no dialogue coming from the POV. His aside comments are priceless: 'Give me a break'
'Naw, ya think?''
'Angel of death, maybe.'
I wondered why Ed tousled the POV's hair. When the tail wagged, there was my answer.
I'm still smiling that he tried to bury her in the back yard after he tranquilized her. Smart pooch.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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LOL Thank you so much! Glad you enjoyed it.
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Good luck in the contest.
Comment from chasennov
'All Dressed In White.' An excellent story you have created here. I enjoyed the read and also found your formulation pretty well done.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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'All Dressed In White.' An excellent story you have created here. I enjoyed the read and also found your formulation pretty well done.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thanks!
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Welcome.
Comment from DanielEkine
Great distribution of paragraphs.
Nice art work to compliment the story.
Great job by the author.
"She doesn't like me. No, she didn't feel too comfortable having another female around, especially one introduced on their first date as "Cindi, my bodyguard, and one of the best friends I've ever had." Angel gave one of those fake, falsetto laughs, like she was trying to be sweet, and sexy and oh-so-much more of a woman than you will ever be. I thought she sounded more like a crow, but Ed just loved it. Did you catch her name? Angel of death, maybe." my best paragraph.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Great distribution of paragraphs.
Nice art work to compliment the story.
Great job by the author.
"She doesn't like me. No, she didn't feel too comfortable having another female around, especially one introduced on their first date as "Cindi, my bodyguard, and one of the best friends I've ever had." Angel gave one of those fake, falsetto laughs, like she was trying to be sweet, and sexy and oh-so-much more of a woman than you will ever be. I thought she sounded more like a crow, but Ed just loved it. Did you catch her name? Angel of death, maybe." my best paragraph.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thanks! :-)
