All Dressed In White
A guest's point of view89 total reviews
Comment from Rosalyne
Hi Janilou,
All Dressed in White is a fun story that moves along at a great pace. I really liked that you told this story from a different perspective, the guest, rather than the bride or groom. Best is the ending, the "wagging my tail."
Well done.
Best of luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Bye
Rosalyne
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Hi Janilou,
All Dressed in White is a fun story that moves along at a great pace. I really liked that you told this story from a different perspective, the guest, rather than the bride or groom. Best is the ending, the "wagging my tail."
Well done.
Best of luck in the contest.
Thanks for sharing.
Bye
Rosalyne
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much, Rosalyne!
Comment from jmdg1954
I found this to he a very well written story form the guests perspective. Doing this all without dialogue was also an interesting spin on it. The twist at the end.. Nice touch.
Best of luck in the contest, you should do well.
John
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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I found this to he a very well written story form the guests perspective. Doing this all without dialogue was also an interesting spin on it. The twist at the end.. Nice touch.
Best of luck in the contest, you should do well.
John
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Many thanks, John. Much appreciated!
Jan
Comment from Zue65
The technique of the author is quite fresh for me , with the uniquely brutal,cynical, satirical way that Cindi describes the bride to be, of Ed, of which Ed failed to recognize the flaw of the bride despite being told about it, perhaps too mesmerized by the beauty of the bride. But the real Angel,screaming after finding herself half-buried in the backyard, with the ugly brown stain in her wedding gown, cursing, spitting and storming out of the church, the side of wild utterly lacking in finesse Angel was exposed she doesn't have breeding after all, and the witness is the Cindi, the dog. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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The technique of the author is quite fresh for me , with the uniquely brutal,cynical, satirical way that Cindi describes the bride to be, of Ed, of which Ed failed to recognize the flaw of the bride despite being told about it, perhaps too mesmerized by the beauty of the bride. But the real Angel,screaming after finding herself half-buried in the backyard, with the ugly brown stain in her wedding gown, cursing, spitting and storming out of the church, the side of wild utterly lacking in finesse Angel was exposed she doesn't have breeding after all, and the witness is the Cindi, the dog. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much! :-)
Jan
Comment from Norbanus
Holy Toledo! What a yarn. This surely has to be the leader of the pack. It's just the sort of imaginative tale we've com to expect from you. Nice going.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Holy Toledo! What a yarn. This surely has to be the leader of the pack. It's just the sort of imaginative tale we've com to expect from you. Nice going.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Aw, thank you so much and what an honor getting a six star review from you! You made my day. :-)
Jan
Comment from elchupakabra
This is really good, I enjoyed your prose, excepet there are weird black diamonds with question marks in them? I'm not sure what that's supposed to be. Anyways I liked the surprise ending and some of the similes you use in your writing;
"His face is looking like a lobster poking out of a ceramic pot" was my favorite. Overall this was really well done. Good luck in the contest, I am also entered in. If you would like to read my entry, it is entitled Macabre Matrimony. Again, great work here and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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This is really good, I enjoyed your prose, excepet there are weird black diamonds with question marks in them? I'm not sure what that's supposed to be. Anyways I liked the surprise ending and some of the similes you use in your writing;
"His face is looking like a lobster poking out of a ceramic pot" was my favorite. Overall this was really well done. Good luck in the contest, I am also entered in. If you would like to read my entry, it is entitled Macabre Matrimony. Again, great work here and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much. :-)I would love to read your entry.
Jan
Comment from adki6
Haha great story! I love the twist at the end and the way you told the entire story without any actual dialogue but all the necessary information comes right through. Great work and good luck in the contest! :)
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Haha great story! I love the twist at the end and the way you told the entire story without any actual dialogue but all the necessary information comes right through. Great work and good luck in the contest! :)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much! :-)So glad you enjoyed it.
Jan
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer does a good job of raising the readers and anticipation and anxiety. The writer transitions the events well. The writer raises the intensity of this story as the writer does a good job of leading the reader where the reader needs to go. I see nothing that I would change in this story as I wish you well in the contest.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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The writer does a good job of raising the readers and anticipation and anxiety. The writer transitions the events well. The writer raises the intensity of this story as the writer does a good job of leading the reader where the reader needs to go. I see nothing that I would change in this story as I wish you well in the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed it.
Jan
Comment from bookishfabler
Outside of the editor thing, which is not really your falt, the story was great. I think you did a terrific job at telling it and then clueing us in at the end the narrator was a dog. The body guard thing was an excellent lead in. Great job and I miss you Jan.
hugs
heidi
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Outside of the editor thing, which is not really your falt, the story was great. I think you did a terrific job at telling it and then clueing us in at the end the narrator was a dog. The body guard thing was an excellent lead in. Great job and I miss you Jan.
hugs
heidi
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you! :-) I went back in and fixed the nits -- I hope. I am honored by the six stars and your comments!
Many thanks,
Jan
Comment from Mrs Jones
Evil Eddie is messing with your post. I don't know how the dog managed to spike her drink, but the story is very entertaining and well written.
Well done
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Evil Eddie is messing with your post. I don't know how the dog managed to spike her drink, but the story is very entertaining and well written.
Well done
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you, Rose. :-) I so appreciate your review. I went in and dealt with evil Eddie, at least I hope it worked! :-)
Jan
Comment from jwdaughety
Very good, interesting POV. I really enjoyed the story. Watch for little typos. For example, 'defence' in the last line, unless you were spelling it this way on purpose. However, this doesn't appear to be a dog who would have a fence. Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Very good, interesting POV. I really enjoyed the story. Watch for little typos. For example, 'defence' in the last line, unless you were spelling it this way on purpose. However, this doesn't appear to be a dog who would have a fence. Well done.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Many thanks. Fixed the typo. That's what comes of writing at 1am in the morning, I guess. LOL No excuses. Thanks again!
Jan
