All Dressed In White
A guest's point of view89 total reviews
Comment from PrincessinPurple
I read this story. It was good, bit I was disappointed with the end of the story. When the story is first person I put myself in the I spot. It was good up until the end. For me there was no real indication the I was a dog. So it threw me when I got to the end of the story.
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reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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I read this story. It was good, bit I was disappointed with the end of the story. When the story is first person I put myself in the I spot. It was good up until the end. For me there was no real indication the I was a dog. So it threw me when I got to the end of the story.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you for your thoughts. That was the point. :-) A good story tries to surprise us at the end with a twist -- something unexpected. I do appreciate your honest feedback. Thank you. :-)
Comment from Mark Alan Trimeloni
He's standing up there, looking for all the world like a crazy, love-sick fool. I hate cliches, but you know, when the shoe fits... aw, never mind. It's getting crowded in here, and the guests are getting smellier. All crammed into this tiny church up on a hill. I knew this was a mistake, but he wouldn't listen to me. Nobody ever does.
Great description right here in the beginning. I can smell the people crammed in the church. I have a real feel for the feeling of being ignored that the main character has.
Yes, I'm here, Ed. It's okay, you're safe. What's that she's saying? Wow, Angel, you've got everyone here wondering which kind of angel you are after all. Listen to those profanities. Ed's eyes are growing wider by the minute. He's never seen this side of you. You really should stop spitting when you talk, Angel, dear. It doesn't become you. Alright, so I'm lying. It actually suits you very well. Oh my, whatever happened to your snow-white gown, dearest Angel? What is that ugly brown and yellow stain? Are you really snarling at me? Right back at you, gorgeous.
This part was truly inspired and really funny. I could feel the distaste she had for this Angel.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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He's standing up there, looking for all the world like a crazy, love-sick fool. I hate cliches, but you know, when the shoe fits... aw, never mind. It's getting crowded in here, and the guests are getting smellier. All crammed into this tiny church up on a hill. I knew this was a mistake, but he wouldn't listen to me. Nobody ever does.
Great description right here in the beginning. I can smell the people crammed in the church. I have a real feel for the feeling of being ignored that the main character has.
Yes, I'm here, Ed. It's okay, you're safe. What's that she's saying? Wow, Angel, you've got everyone here wondering which kind of angel you are after all. Listen to those profanities. Ed's eyes are growing wider by the minute. He's never seen this side of you. You really should stop spitting when you talk, Angel, dear. It doesn't become you. Alright, so I'm lying. It actually suits you very well. Oh my, whatever happened to your snow-white gown, dearest Angel? What is that ugly brown and yellow stain? Are you really snarling at me? Right back at you, gorgeous.
This part was truly inspired and really funny. I could feel the distaste she had for this Angel.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much! Much appreciated.
Jan
Comment from MelReyn
I didn't see that coming! Not at all! Whoa! Very clever!
Erhem. Yes. Now that I'm done yelling and sprinkling explanation points everywhere.... This was awesome. You fooled me from the start. I was thinking "what is with this girl? Something's not quite right about her." I loved this! Well done!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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I didn't see that coming! Not at all! Whoa! Very clever!
Erhem. Yes. Now that I'm done yelling and sprinkling explanation points everywhere.... This was awesome. You fooled me from the start. I was thinking "what is with this girl? Something's not quite right about her." I loved this! Well done!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so very much. Glad you enjoyed it!
Jan
Comment from persevere
This is brilliant. I read it twice. I had some interruptions the first time but couldn't wait to get back to it. Your subtle introduction of Cindi as your bodyguard and one of your best friends and then later "I settle for wagging my tail" is so clever. And the ending is hilarious.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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This is brilliant. I read it twice. I had some interruptions the first time but couldn't wait to get back to it. Your subtle introduction of Cindi as your bodyguard and one of your best friends and then later "I settle for wagging my tail" is so clever. And the ending is hilarious.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Many thanks! I really appreciate the great review and the six stars. Thank you so very much.
Jan
Comment from w.j.debi
Interesting POV, and not revealing the guest's true nature until the very end. At least the groom recognized his true best friend before it was too late. Animals are smarter than we give them credit for, and this one is a genius.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Interesting POV, and not revealing the guest's true nature until the very end. At least the groom recognized his true best friend before it was too late. Animals are smarter than we give them credit for, and this one is a genius.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so very much!
Jan
Comment from BeckyW
I absolutely love this little story. It made me laugh out loud. It's perfect; not only in the creative writing itself, but the idea. What a great idea for a concerned wedding-goer who is very much against the marriage. Looks like you 'forever held your peace' without even saying a word. I love the cocky character here and the happy ending she so lovingly (for the groom) planned out. Great job Janilou:)
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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I absolutely love this little story. It made me laugh out loud. It's perfect; not only in the creative writing itself, but the idea. What a great idea for a concerned wedding-goer who is very much against the marriage. Looks like you 'forever held your peace' without even saying a word. I love the cocky character here and the happy ending she so lovingly (for the groom) planned out. Great job Janilou:)
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Many thanks, BeckyW. I really appreciate the six stars and your awesome review! So glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from Jean Lagace
Squat down to me and give me a hug. Wagging my tail. Can't understand... Just like a bone. Then what we have here is a thinking bitch. Had to read the piece two times to get it right. Interesting view on the institution, though.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Squat down to me and give me a hug. Wagging my tail. Can't understand... Just like a bone. Then what we have here is a thinking bitch. Had to read the piece two times to get it right. Interesting view on the institution, though.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thanks! :-)
Jan
Comment from barleygirl
My first "6-star" rating of the week, & I entered this contest, too, so I don't even WANT anyone else's story to be this good! *smile* But how can I resist a story with a dog as a star character? The point of view is nailed perfectly. Sometimes when people do this, with a twist at the end, you go back & think, naaaaw, it didn't sound like a dog all the way thru. But I was thinking, man this lady is a bitch (female dog) all the way thru . . . but I didn't put it together until I was getting near the end . . . I saw it coming a little early, but the timing was just right. The whole thing made perfect sense! Great job! Good luck!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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My first "6-star" rating of the week, & I entered this contest, too, so I don't even WANT anyone else's story to be this good! *smile* But how can I resist a story with a dog as a star character? The point of view is nailed perfectly. Sometimes when people do this, with a twist at the end, you go back & think, naaaaw, it didn't sound like a dog all the way thru. But I was thinking, man this lady is a bitch (female dog) all the way thru . . . but I didn't put it together until I was getting near the end . . . I saw it coming a little early, but the timing was just right. The whole thing made perfect sense! Great job! Good luck!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much! I am honored by the six stars and so glad you enjoyed it. I wish you the very best of luck with your story in the contest!
Jan
Comment from wiljacro
HI! Janilou. I really loved this great story and the twist in the tail (Sorry! tale!) was very funny. The thought of two bitches fighting to get their man to choose the right one is a laugh but the fact that one is a canine eally makes the story! A great smiley read. wiljacro.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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HI! Janilou. I really loved this great story and the twist in the tail (Sorry! tale!) was very funny. The thought of two bitches fighting to get their man to choose the right one is a laugh but the fact that one is a canine eally makes the story! A great smiley read. wiljacro.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Many thanks for the wonderful review!
Jan
Comment from country ranch writer
this deserves a six it is a little long but so funny! right up until the end when the best friend turn out to be a dog! that is precious
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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this deserves a six it is a little long but so funny! right up until the end when the best friend turn out to be a dog! that is precious
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the six stars. The contest calls for a minimum of 500 words and a maximum of seven thousand I think?
Again, I really appreciate the wonderful review! :-)
Jan
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so good
