All Dressed In White
A guest's point of view89 total reviews
Comment from ccmwriter
This is so funny & creative! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing! Can't wait to read more of your work. You did well.
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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This is so funny & creative! I nearly fell out of my chair laughing! Can't wait to read more of your work. You did well.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much! I'm delighted to hear how much you enjoyed it.
:-)
Jan
Comment from balloonmom
Great job on this piece...what an unexpected viewpoint. I really enjoyed this. There was only one part that was slightly confusing and that was the ultimatum in the 4th paragraph. When Ed said "her," I wasn't sure at first if he was talking about Angel or the writer. Perhaps putting Angela's actual words in quotations might clear that up. Obviously, reading on clarified it for me. :-)
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Great job on this piece...what an unexpected viewpoint. I really enjoyed this. There was only one part that was slightly confusing and that was the ultimatum in the 4th paragraph. When Ed said "her," I wasn't sure at first if he was talking about Angel or the writer. Perhaps putting Angela's actual words in quotations might clear that up. Obviously, reading on clarified it for me. :-)
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 29-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much! I will take a look at that ultimatum. :-)
Jan
Comment from Curly Girly
This was an entertaining read. So the speaker ended up being a dog - that was a surprise!
One typo spotted:
it's her or me.[space]Good boy,
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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This was an entertaining read. So the speaker ended up being a dog - that was a surprise!
One typo spotted:
it's her or me.[space]Good boy,
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for noticing the typo! Every time I read over it, I seem to find something else I want to correct but I missed that one. LOL So glad you found that one. I will go fix it. Thanks for the great review. Jan
Comment from EMB
Haha! Isnt' the wealthy man/bimbo a typical combination in our world? :) I loved the cynical narrator that you provided. It's actually the kind of narrator one could easily follow through an entire novel. You also do a great job jumping back and forth from past to present tense without confusion. That's something a lot of people have trouble with, but I love writing in the present.
Still, it seems as though some dialogue would've brought this up even another notch. It wouldn't brought us into the story even more.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Haha! Isnt' the wealthy man/bimbo a typical combination in our world? :) I loved the cynical narrator that you provided. It's actually the kind of narrator one could easily follow through an entire novel. You also do a great job jumping back and forth from past to present tense without confusion. That's something a lot of people have trouble with, but I love writing in the present.
Still, it seems as though some dialogue would've brought this up even another notch. It wouldn't brought us into the story even more.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much for the great review! Much appreciated. :-)
Jan
Comment from braham20191
Brilliant!
I saw your note on people correcting the typos. Nice of them. However, very few of us grammar fanatics can write like you so that more than evens the scales in favour of creativity and real writers like you. Bravo. This short story was a joy to read.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Brilliant!
I saw your note on people correcting the typos. Nice of them. However, very few of us grammar fanatics can write like you so that more than evens the scales in favour of creativity and real writers like you. Bravo. This short story was a joy to read.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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LOL Thank you so much! You are too kind.
Comment from A Matter Of Words
How fun was that! You have me going right to the end. The carefree cockiness made complete sense. Dogs just go through life with such a "Oh yeah - life is a lark" attitude. Excellent job...Stephanie
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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How fun was that! You have me going right to the end. The carefree cockiness made complete sense. Dogs just go through life with such a "Oh yeah - life is a lark" attitude. Excellent job...Stephanie
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much, Stephanie.
Comment from lindalcreel
This was terrific. I hope that you do well in this contest. You really had me going. I had no idea, the bodyguard was a dog. Brilliant!! This was very well done. A great read with great voice, great dialogue and a really great ending. Thanks so much for sharing!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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This was terrific. I hope that you do well in this contest. You really had me going. I had no idea, the bodyguard was a dog. Brilliant!! This was very well done. A great read with great voice, great dialogue and a really great ending. Thanks so much for sharing!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much! I was so thrilled to hear how much you enjoyed my little story. :-) The six stars are deeply appreciated.
Jan
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Well deserved!
Comment from DiaMarEl
This is an absolutely wonderful story. What a creative twist when the narrator's identity is revealed as Ed's/and man's best friend,... LITERALLY! Your story was humorous, lighthearted, and captivating from start to finish. Very well formatted and written, and perfectly in keeping with the contest requirements of length and subject matter, etc. It was a very unique approach for an entry in the category of relating the impact of a missing bride from someone's point of view. What an interesting (and totally unforeseen by me) surprise wedding guest. This has a nice plot, great use of imagery (loved the reference to the white bone...), and is an altogether "happy tail"! (Sorry, I just couldn't resist.) Best of luck in the contest!!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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This is an absolutely wonderful story. What a creative twist when the narrator's identity is revealed as Ed's/and man's best friend,... LITERALLY! Your story was humorous, lighthearted, and captivating from start to finish. Very well formatted and written, and perfectly in keeping with the contest requirements of length and subject matter, etc. It was a very unique approach for an entry in the category of relating the impact of a missing bride from someone's point of view. What an interesting (and totally unforeseen by me) surprise wedding guest. This has a nice plot, great use of imagery (loved the reference to the white bone...), and is an altogether "happy tail"! (Sorry, I just couldn't resist.) Best of luck in the contest!!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so very much. I deeply appreciate your glowing review. I am honored that you enjoyed it that much. Many thanks! :-)
Jan
Comment from AudreyRose
This was great. You made me feel like I knew these people and was a part of the wedding myself. The details were great and the story didn't run onat all. You did a great job engaging the reader.
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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This was great. You made me feel like I knew these people and was a part of the wedding myself. The details were great and the story didn't run onat all. You did a great job engaging the reader.
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed it. :-)
Jan
Comment from jandeck
This is a missing bride with a twist. What a surprise that the bodyguard is a dog who just happened to bury the bride. Good imagination in this one. It made fora pleasant read. Well done!
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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This is a missing bride with a twist. What a surprise that the bodyguard is a dog who just happened to bury the bride. Good imagination in this one. It made fora pleasant read. Well done!
Comment Written 28-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much. Glad you enjoyed this story. :-)
Jan
