Singing for Heavenly Boarding
Suffering is Singing for a Heavenly Boarding -- Alliterative114 total reviews
Comment from KineticPoetic
It's well-written but it feels like the message of the piece gets lost in the rhetoric chosen to convey it. While reading I kept having to stop and really analyze the words. Good vocabulary though! Good work.
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It's well-written but it feels like the message of the piece gets lost in the rhetoric chosen to convey it. While reading I kept having to stop and really analyze the words. Good vocabulary though! Good work.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
Comment from elchupakabra
This is another great piece. Again, based purely on the poetic merit of the piece, I found that the title was excellent and a great allusion. I love how elaborate this acrostic is, but also how passionately the author's voice speaks without coming off as sententious. It was also really great to see the author was able to keep so many of the lines in a particular flow with good rhymes. My only criticism is there were 10-11 lines that end in living. I'm not sure if that was intended, but it's the only part that I find to be a little repetitive. Still, excellent work overall.
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This is another great piece. Again, based purely on the poetic merit of the piece, I found that the title was excellent and a great allusion. I love how elaborate this acrostic is, but also how passionately the author's voice speaks without coming off as sententious. It was also really great to see the author was able to keep so many of the lines in a particular flow with good rhymes. My only criticism is there were 10-11 lines that end in living. I'm not sure if that was intended, but it's the only part that I find to be a little repetitive. Still, excellent work overall.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
Comment from Mark Alan Trimeloni
S uffering, examining in living is singing, swinging a heavenly boarding!
U nder Thy Concord, the Rule is live mortally for becoming
F atherly upon the mankind and have rights only activating
F or selfless, caused humanity and civilization bearing
E nter into the world of earthly heaven to live beyond living
R ooted to the essence of Thy Appreciation onto each course
I n an order to mould living upon a gifted order in Thy Force
N urturing each moment dedicated to the destined cause
G overning each and every spell of action without a pause
I don't see what any of this has to do with suffering. Not to mention the fact that it's just confusing. I wonder what point you are trying to convey to the reader. I really have no idea.
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S uffering, examining in living is singing, swinging a heavenly boarding!
U nder Thy Concord, the Rule is live mortally for becoming
F atherly upon the mankind and have rights only activating
F or selfless, caused humanity and civilization bearing
E nter into the world of earthly heaven to live beyond living
R ooted to the essence of Thy Appreciation onto each course
I n an order to mould living upon a gifted order in Thy Force
N urturing each moment dedicated to the destined cause
G overning each and every spell of action without a pause
I don't see what any of this has to do with suffering. Not to mention the fact that it's just confusing. I wonder what point you are trying to convey to the reader. I really have no idea.
Comment Written 29-Jul-2013
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
This is well written my friend such a meaningful poem that reads so beautifully I enjoyed my friend well done regards Jill
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This is well written my friend such a meaningful poem that reads so beautifully I enjoyed my friend well done regards Jill
Comment Written 17-Jul-2013
Comment from S.Yocom
Well, this one must have taken quite a lot of time to compose, Alcreator Litt Dear. You put a lot of thought into the poem and gave it a positive spin with a good message. Well done.
Sally
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Well, this one must have taken quite a lot of time to compose, Alcreator Litt Dear. You put a lot of thought into the poem and gave it a positive spin with a good message. Well done.
Sally
Comment Written 17-Jul-2013
Comment from patsypats
Very cleverly written with such carefully chosen words that give your work such a powerful impact on the reader. Nice use of rhyming also giving your words more character.
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Very cleverly written with such carefully chosen words that give your work such a powerful impact on the reader. Nice use of rhyming also giving your words more character.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2013
Comment from alexgeorge
Wow! This blew me over. It is a pome dedicated to the Lord in all his Divine wisdom, the Creator of all fine things. This is the poet's tribute to his Lord.
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Wow! This blew me over. It is a pome dedicated to the Lord in all his Divine wisdom, the Creator of all fine things. This is the poet's tribute to his Lord.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2013
Comment from Sanku
what a tough acrostic,Alcreator! it must have been a difficult job very hard to bring these religious imageries to form this message. By repeating the lines you have let the message get across.leads to lot of thinking .
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what a tough acrostic,Alcreator! it must have been a difficult job very hard to bring these religious imageries to form this message. By repeating the lines you have let the message get across.leads to lot of thinking .
Comment Written 17-Jul-2013
Comment from sunnilicious
That is a wonderful Acrostic. It must have taken you a long time. It came together very nicely. Overall, it is creative and dripping with spiritual visual imageries. Excellent work.
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That is a wonderful Acrostic. It must have taken you a long time. It came together very nicely. Overall, it is creative and dripping with spiritual visual imageries. Excellent work.
Comment Written 17-Jul-2013
Comment from Perp Ihebom
This is like a hard nut to crack . The language is not for everyone to understand but i think i got a few leads here and there. Morality stands out in the work as a prescription for going to heaven. cheers
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This is like a hard nut to crack . The language is not for everyone to understand but i think i got a few leads here and there. Morality stands out in the work as a prescription for going to heaven. cheers
Comment Written 17-Jul-2013
