Gramalot's Storybook
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "ZitheryZoo"A book of stories and poems for kids of all ages.
86 total reviews
Comment from ExperiencingLiphe
This is a great picture and if you know little Lily you should frame this and give this to her. And just an fyi you did spell Lily wrong in one of the lines. Not a huge deal but you might want to look at it. Great job though :)
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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This is a great picture and if you know little Lily you should frame this and give this to her. And just an fyi you did spell Lily wrong in one of the lines. Not a huge deal but you might want to look at it. Great job though :)
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Thank you. I don't know a Lily as in this case, but just was inspired by the picture and the knowledge that I do know about these type of kids.
Comment from Righteous Riter
Good, clear story telling from start to finish. Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good, unforced rhyming that leads to a smooth flow. Good alliteration in Lily, little...sing, scream...swing, sway...stop, stare...rainbow, rainy... Nice photo accompanied by a clear message.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Good, clear story telling from start to finish. Good use of the abcb rhyme scheme. Good, unforced rhyming that leads to a smooth flow. Good alliteration in Lily, little...sing, scream...swing, sway...stop, stare...rainbow, rainy... Nice photo accompanied by a clear message.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Thank you so much for your comments and review.
Comment from Nuad1
A delight of a poem about a child that can be read to children with good outward reaction(s). I, too, have a "special" child in my life and I am still shocked (yes shocked!) after 17 years when people react with anything but love/acceptance towards our Jennifer.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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A delight of a poem about a child that can be read to children with good outward reaction(s). I, too, have a "special" child in my life and I am still shocked (yes shocked!) after 17 years when people react with anything but love/acceptance towards our Jennifer.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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So sorry that people are still doing that this day and age. Thank you for your review and comments.
Comment from ELumpkins
It is a healthy five. Touching...Too Many children born like this, but like the poem said,"She is not different, she is a gift from God. An excellent attitude. Keep up the good work
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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It is a healthy five. Touching...Too Many children born like this, but like the poem said,"She is not different, she is a gift from God. An excellent attitude. Keep up the good work
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Thank you for your comments and great review.
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of abcb rhyming
good choice of action verbs to add life to your story
sing everyday - every day
Mr Marshmellow - Marshmallow
I like the names of her friends and her made up words
good alliteration in sing and sway
a lovely story about this delightful, special needs child :-) Brooke
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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excellent use of abcb rhyming
good choice of action verbs to add life to your story
sing everyday - every day
Mr Marshmellow - Marshmallow
I like the names of her friends and her made up words
good alliteration in sing and sway
a lovely story about this delightful, special needs child :-) Brooke
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Thank you Brooke for your comment, review and I will fix the typos.
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
This is such a sweet and touching poem and speaks of God's special little gifts He knows will bless mankind in a special way. Wish we had a six for this. Tag Teaming today. Miss Evelyn broke her hip and she doesn't have a computer in the rehab center. Great poem. God loves you and so do wee.
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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This is such a sweet and touching poem and speaks of God's special little gifts He knows will bless mankind in a special way. Wish we had a six for this. Tag Teaming today. Miss Evelyn broke her hip and she doesn't have a computer in the rehab center. Great poem. God loves you and so do wee.
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Thank you for your comments and review.
Comment from Domino 2
This is a very nice poem of the parents' faith and determination that Lily would get better, despite the odds.
The last 2 lines confuse me slightly, as you're addressing Lily but say God sent her for HERSELF too. Maybe I'm missing something.
Very uplifting writing.
Cheers, Ted
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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This is a very nice poem of the parents' faith and determination that Lily would get better, despite the odds.
The last 2 lines confuse me slightly, as you're addressing Lily but say God sent her for HERSELF too. Maybe I'm missing something.
Very uplifting writing.
Cheers, Ted
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Thank you, Ted, for your comments and review. It is greatly appreciated. Last meaning talking about the rest of us i.e. you and me.
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I'm with you now, gramalot8 - sorry for my dense moment. :-)
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I'm with you now, gramalot8 - sorry for my dense moment. :-)
Comment from ravenblack
Beautiful poem suffused with the joyful spirit of childhood.I am assuming that by special kids you mean special needs. Think it was an excellent choice to not focus at all on any sort of disability. Love your incorporation of made up words, " masterwobbly and Zithery Zoo". And we have an albino Russian blue cat named , yep, "Snowball".
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Beautiful poem suffused with the joyful spirit of childhood.I am assuming that by special kids you mean special needs. Think it was an excellent choice to not focus at all on any sort of disability. Love your incorporation of made up words, " masterwobbly and Zithery Zoo". And we have an albino Russian blue cat named , yep, "Snowball".
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Ravenblack, thank you for your wonderful comments and review. They are greatly appreciated.
Comment from GE Parson
Hey Grama,
What a special poem about a special child.! I sometimes wonder if through their eyes hey see us"normal" people as "special" people.
Blessing to you on the contest,
Your friend................Jerry
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Hey Grama,
What a special poem about a special child.! I sometimes wonder if through their eyes hey see us"normal" people as "special" people.
Blessing to you on the contest,
Your friend................Jerry
Comment Written 18-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Jerry, thank you so much for the wonderful comments. And, so greatly appreciate the 6 stars (they do not come often enough). And, yes, I agree with you!
Comment from TheWriteTeach
This is a beautiful story about Lily. Your descriptions of the things she did not give a hint (at least to me) that she was special. Everything you wrote seemed to be things that every child does. I especially like her made up words Masterwobbly and ZitheryZoo. They are not only cute but befitting the things children do.
This is very well written. It flows smoothly from stanza to stanza and is easy to understand. This piece grabbed me immediately and I stayed focused until the end. Your rhyming words worked well throughout. It conveyed your thoughts, yet was not distracting; it allowed me to read about Lily without drawing attention to the rhymes.
Overall, well done. Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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This is a beautiful story about Lily. Your descriptions of the things she did not give a hint (at least to me) that she was special. Everything you wrote seemed to be things that every child does. I especially like her made up words Masterwobbly and ZitheryZoo. They are not only cute but befitting the things children do.
This is very well written. It flows smoothly from stanza to stanza and is easy to understand. This piece grabbed me immediately and I stayed focused until the end. Your rhyming words worked well throughout. It conveyed your thoughts, yet was not distracting; it allowed me to read about Lily without drawing attention to the rhymes.
Overall, well done. Good luck in the contest.
Suzanne
Comment Written 17-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 18-Sep-2013
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Thank you Suzanne, for your wonderful oomments and review. It is greatly appreciated.
