Gramalot's Storybook
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "ZitheryZoo"A book of stories and poems for kids of all ages.
86 total reviews
Comment from giovannimariatommaso
Giovanni
Wasn't sure if I could or would appreciate this poem since it isn't my style that I am aware of, however, after getting into reading it and hearing the pattern and feeling the flow along with the imagery and content I am happy that I reviewed it.
I didn't find any spelling or grammatical errors.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Giovanni
Wasn't sure if I could or would appreciate this poem since it isn't my style that I am aware of, however, after getting into reading it and hearing the pattern and feeling the flow along with the imagery and content I am happy that I reviewed it.
I didn't find any spelling or grammatical errors.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Giovanni, thank you for taking the extra time to read this, then, considering it's not your style. Very much appreciate it.
Comment from l.raven
This is such a cute story...Such a happy girl Lily is... And yes God's children are a gift from God...This is so very well written and I love the picture... God Bless
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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This is such a cute story...Such a happy girl Lily is... And yes God's children are a gift from God...This is so very well written and I love the picture... God Bless
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I. raven, thank you so much for your wonderful comments and review. It is greatly appreciated.
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you are so welcome...xxoo
Comment from harmony13
An excellent poem! The author wrote a sweet poem. The poem was descriptive and a joyful read. The reader found the poem creative. The artwork was perfect and complimented the poem. Thank you, harmony13
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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An excellent poem! The author wrote a sweet poem. The poem was descriptive and a joyful read. The reader found the poem creative. The artwork was perfect and complimented the poem. Thank you, harmony13
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Harmony13, thank you so much for your wonderful comments and review. It is greatly appreciated.
Comment from Supe
This is a nice tribute to God's special children. Love the funny little picture of Lily that complemented your words. Like the rhyming. My favorite by far. I am glad so many read and recognized this work. Nice job.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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This is a nice tribute to God's special children. Love the funny little picture of Lily that complemented your words. Like the rhyming. My favorite by far. I am glad so many read and recognized this work. Nice job.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Supe, thank you so much for your wonderful comments and great review. It is so appreciated.
Comment from Perp Ihebom
I love the character of this Lily who against all odds, kept a date with happiness. Indeed her mood is infectious and even reading about her has infected me. VERY WELL DONE
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I love the character of this Lily who against all odds, kept a date with happiness. Indeed her mood is infectious and even reading about her has infected me. VERY WELL DONE
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Perp Iheborn, thank you so much for your review and comments. It is greatly appreciated.
Comment from Mastery
Hi, Jerri Very well done...I think aim it at a children's audience though. I liked this stanza best:
"Please keep on swinging, Lily dear,
Holding on tight to your ZitheryZoo.
'Cause God knew what he was doing
When He sent Lily for me and you!"
ps. I would not capitalize the word "WOULDN'T" as it has the opposite effect which has been proven time and again that capitals are more or less a distraction. (just a suggestion, mind you)
Good job...Bob
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Hi, Jerri Very well done...I think aim it at a children's audience though. I liked this stanza best:
"Please keep on swinging, Lily dear,
Holding on tight to your ZitheryZoo.
'Cause God knew what he was doing
When He sent Lily for me and you!"
ps. I would not capitalize the word "WOULDN'T" as it has the opposite effect which has been proven time and again that capitals are more or less a distraction. (just a suggestion, mind you)
Good job...Bob
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Bob, thank you so much for reading this poem. As always, your critique is always welcomed. So appreciate your positive comments and review and feedback. Jerri
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi gramalot,
This is a delightful poem and one I enjoyed from the first line to the last. There are many children with special needs and each one is a gift from God. You have penned a musical rhyme, the flow is smooth, You have made good use of alliteration and enjambments both of which makes this piece a joy to read. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Hi gramalot,
This is a delightful poem and one I enjoyed from the first line to the last. There are many children with special needs and each one is a gift from God. You have penned a musical rhyme, the flow is smooth, You have made good use of alliteration and enjambments both of which makes this piece a joy to read. Well done and good luck in the contest....blessings, chey
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Chey, I so appreciate, as always, you commenting and reviewing my work. Thank you.
Comment from shanteseg
I read this to my six year son, and he really enjoyed your poem. We both like when you wrote, she's not different she's a gift from God. Very nice poem.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I read this to my six year son, and he really enjoyed your poem. We both like when you wrote, she's not different she's a gift from God. Very nice poem.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Shanteseg, thank you so much. I'm happy to hear that a six year old liked it so much. Your comments and review are very appreciated.
Comment from weemick1960
I can relate to this one slightly. I was strangulated in the womb by the cord. By all accounts I came out of my mother like an old dish rag. There was brain damage due to the oxygen being cut off. You caught your subject so well. Your piece flowed with a light bouncy sense of reality. I think, maybe if we just thought a little like Lilly and the other kids like her this world wouldn't be in the mess its in. I sometimes wonder what our lives should really be. Sunshine and rainbows would suit me just fine. I really enjoyed this piece. The joy of a peaceful mind that wishes to hurt no one. Just think on it, a mind that wishes to hurt no one and a heart filled with Love to give. This would have been a six but I have none left, sorry. I raise my glass to one of God's special children, Lily.
MIKE.
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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I can relate to this one slightly. I was strangulated in the womb by the cord. By all accounts I came out of my mother like an old dish rag. There was brain damage due to the oxygen being cut off. You caught your subject so well. Your piece flowed with a light bouncy sense of reality. I think, maybe if we just thought a little like Lilly and the other kids like her this world wouldn't be in the mess its in. I sometimes wonder what our lives should really be. Sunshine and rainbows would suit me just fine. I really enjoyed this piece. The joy of a peaceful mind that wishes to hurt no one. Just think on it, a mind that wishes to hurt no one and a heart filled with Love to give. This would have been a six but I have none left, sorry. I raise my glass to one of God's special children, Lily.
MIKE.
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Mike, thank you so much for such a wonderful review and greatly appreciated comments.
Comment from kiwisteveh
Whether or not Lily is an actual child, I enjoyed your poetic creation which celebrates the lives of many 'special' children who bring joy to those around them despite immense difficulties.
You are right, it is hard not to be touched by the infectious joy many of these children exhibit.
Steve
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Whether or not Lily is an actual child, I enjoyed your poetic creation which celebrates the lives of many 'special' children who bring joy to those around them despite immense difficulties.
You are right, it is hard not to be touched by the infectious joy many of these children exhibit.
Steve
Comment Written 20-Sep-2013
reply by the author on 20-Sep-2013
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Steve, thank you so much for your comments and review. It is greatly appreciated.
