The Animal Doctor
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Of Love and War"Love Among the Thorns
62 total reviews
Comment from Dustybones
Good dialogue in this chapter. Narrative is excellent in setting the mood. You have achieved a pro's level of penmanship. Very readable chapter, my friend.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Good dialogue in this chapter. Narrative is excellent in setting the mood. You have achieved a pro's level of penmanship. Very readable chapter, my friend.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2013
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Wow, thank you so much for that honor. Did you say, 'pro level'? Bless you, my friend.
Comment from Schalk Jacobs
Another excellent chapter that you have written, my friend. It leads the novel into a new direction. Fear the new bliss that Nathan and Eva have experienced is going to be short lived.
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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Another excellent chapter that you have written, my friend. It leads the novel into a new direction. Fear the new bliss that Nathan and Eva have experienced is going to be short lived.
Comment Written 22-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 22-Jul-2013
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LOL Awe! Where's your faith in human bliss. I'm not telling. Thank you, my friend, for reading. I'm struggling with chapter 7 as I write. Hope you'll enjoy it.
Comment from conroy11
You have done an excellent job here of capturing the hot ardor of lovemaking (women seem to have a gift for it) and the resulting afterglow and pillow talk that follows. The scene seems so real and natural I felt I was in the room with them. Little details like, "She smelled the thick aroma of coffee brewing. Wrapping a sheet around her..." are so authentic you can't help but feel you are there. You have written a bittersweet scene of love, and leaving, and possible loss. The young lovers' fear and trepidation for the future trials by fire to come are palpable. A wonderful piece of writing!
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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You have done an excellent job here of capturing the hot ardor of lovemaking (women seem to have a gift for it) and the resulting afterglow and pillow talk that follows. The scene seems so real and natural I felt I was in the room with them. Little details like, "She smelled the thick aroma of coffee brewing. Wrapping a sheet around her..." are so authentic you can't help but feel you are there. You have written a bittersweet scene of love, and leaving, and possible loss. The young lovers' fear and trepidation for the future trials by fire to come are palpable. A wonderful piece of writing!
Comment Written 18-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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Wow, thank you conroy11, you do me a great honor with this magnificent review. I really do work hard at my writing and you have certainly made me feel it is all worth while. Blessings to you my friend.
Comment from CrystieCookie999
This is pretty good writing. I was thinking there were a couple of phrases that I am not sure fit the era. I was trying to think if 'tush' was used back then. Also, I think it was less common to say: Oh my God (and where you have it, I would un-capitalize 'My'.
Weeks ago, he'd written his Mother and siblings in Oklahoma
You don't need to capitalize 'mother' when it isn't being used as a title.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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This is pretty good writing. I was thinking there were a couple of phrases that I am not sure fit the era. I was trying to think if 'tush' was used back then. Also, I think it was less common to say: Oh my God (and where you have it, I would un-capitalize 'My'.
Weeks ago, he'd written his Mother and siblings in Oklahoma
You don't need to capitalize 'mother' when it isn't being used as a title.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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Thank you so much. I'll go over it and consider your suggestions. Always a pleasure for you to read my work.
Comment from Bobby Jo
You have me interested in your story. I could feel Eva's pain and braveness as she was trying to savor every waking minute with her lover. I also enjoyed the automobile part. Wondering what it would be like actually be in a vehicle for the first time. Great story.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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You have me interested in your story. I could feel Eva's pain and braveness as she was trying to savor every waking minute with her lover. I also enjoyed the automobile part. Wondering what it would be like actually be in a vehicle for the first time. Great story.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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Thank you Bobby Jo. I'm so glad you are interested in my story. Welcome aboard!
Comment from Kingsrookviii
This is very good and keeps the reader wanting to keep going. I loved the use of a "panting breeze" which I find very descriptive. Over all this is leaving me wondering what is next? Thanks. Well done.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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This is very good and keeps the reader wanting to keep going. I loved the use of a "panting breeze" which I find very descriptive. Over all this is leaving me wondering what is next? Thanks. Well done.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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thank you.
Comment from _maynard_
This is a very good peace of writing I like the way it read enjoyed reading it very much in every way thanks for sharing your work with us take care
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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This is a very good peace of writing I like the way it read enjoyed reading it very much in every way thanks for sharing your work with us take care
Comment Written 18-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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thank you.
Comment from country ranch writer
back then it was hard to go off to war and the not knowing if you will return weighed on every ones mind as still it does today
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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back then it was hard to go off to war and the not knowing if you will return weighed on every ones mind as still it does today
Comment Written 18-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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thank you.
Comment from kiwisteveh
First time I've dipped into your tale. It is well written and of course relates to an interesting historical period. I hope not too many people are upset by the reasonably explicit love scene. Obviously the triangle will recur as a driving force for your narrative further down the track.
I will be back for more.
Steve
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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First time I've dipped into your tale. It is well written and of course relates to an interesting historical period. I hope not too many people are upset by the reasonably explicit love scene. Obviously the triangle will recur as a driving force for your narrative further down the track.
I will be back for more.
Steve
Comment Written 18-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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thank you Steve.
Comment from watergirl
Yes, all that angst and passion are captured quite well here. The way that war and things beyond one's control tear people from each other is painted well. Nice work. I felt for them, and could feel the uncertainty of their futures.
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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Yes, all that angst and passion are captured quite well here. The way that war and things beyond one's control tear people from each other is painted well. Nice work. I felt for them, and could feel the uncertainty of their futures.
Comment Written 18-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 18-Jul-2013
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Thank you watergirl.
