I Choose Rainbows
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "City"Thoughts from the dark side
4 total reviews
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Wow, I enjoyed this one immensely. I could almost smell the concrete and hear the sounds of the bustling city traffic. Opportunity awaits. An optimism of hope. Nicely done, Carolyn
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Wow, I enjoyed this one immensely. I could almost smell the concrete and hear the sounds of the bustling city traffic. Opportunity awaits. An optimism of hope. Nicely done, Carolyn
Comment Written 05-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2013
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Hi Carolyn: Thanks again for the kind words I am curious and you know your poetry. What is the difference between a five start poem and a six star poem?
Norm
Comment from zeldasmith
Okay poet. You may as well know it. Six lines stick out that could be shortend to fit in with all the others. And if you'd use a pic with it, it would enhance your chances of getting a five of others (mothers or brothers didn't sound right.) Just a little edit should take care of it. A four this time. Take a breath, it's not a crime...just fix it where I noted...then you'll get a five next time posted. Now get to work and post me back so I can check out this one fact of shortend sentences. Now go before the holiday commences. One more thing before I go. Your poem is good, so if you could fix what I suggested then you can sit well rested. The end my friend.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Okay poet. You may as well know it. Six lines stick out that could be shortend to fit in with all the others. And if you'd use a pic with it, it would enhance your chances of getting a five of others (mothers or brothers didn't sound right.) Just a little edit should take care of it. A four this time. Take a breath, it's not a crime...just fix it where I noted...then you'll get a five next time posted. Now get to work and post me back so I can check out this one fact of shortend sentences. Now go before the holiday commences. One more thing before I go. Your poem is good, so if you could fix what I suggested then you can sit well rested. The end my friend.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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I made changes. You were right.
Thanks again,
Me
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Knew you would agree.
Comment from DiamondGirlz61
This poem has a rich and enlighening word structure! I like the way you give such detailed descriptions help to make the reader feel like they are right there! Also, you describing the landscaping and then bring into focus the city and then the way you ended it which really made a bold statement!
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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This poem has a rich and enlighening word structure! I like the way you give such detailed descriptions help to make the reader feel like they are right there! Also, you describing the landscaping and then bring into focus the city and then the way you ended it which really made a bold statement!
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Thanks for the nice review. Have a good 4th.
Norm
Comment from Evelyn Fort Stewart
You know what you did an excellent job of describing the awakening of a city to each new day. Good job. Remember God loves you and so do I.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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You know what you did an excellent job of describing the awakening of a city to each new day. Good job. Remember God loves you and so do I.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2013
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Evelyn: Thanks for the kind words. Have a nice 4th.
Norm
