Life, Love, and Other Disasters
Viewing comments for Chapter 15 "Early Frost"A collection of poems on these themes
28 total reviews
Comment from tbacha58
Well I found my style. Whoa you took my breath away. Beautiful, the words are so powerful, the whole combination flower poem, style, is amazing, so glad I passed by. Terry
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
  |
Well I found my style. Whoa you took my breath away. Beautiful, the words are so powerful, the whole combination flower poem, style, is amazing, so glad I passed by. Terry
Comment Written 11-Aug-2013
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2013
-
Thanks, terry - glad you enjoyed this. It is one of my more serious pieces as I tend towards lighter, humorous stuff.
Steve
Comment from nancyjam
This is a beautiful but sad Rondeau. Your
metaphor of an early frost is well chosen as
it kills tender new growth.
Wonderful rhyming and arrangement of lines.
The emotions felt are conveyed in each line.
If this was someone close to you please accept
my condolences. Nancy
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
 |
This is a beautiful but sad Rondeau. Your
metaphor of an early frost is well chosen as
it kills tender new growth.
Wonderful rhyming and arrangement of lines.
The emotions felt are conveyed in each line.
If this was someone close to you please accept
my condolences. Nancy
Comment Written 29-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
-
Thanks, nancy.
Poppi was the daughter of friends of mine - their lives will never be the same, and I tried to put some of that lasting impact into the poem.
Steve
Comment from Darkhorse555
my god that earl frost is killing that poor flower take it into the heat you penned beautiful your words like a flower blooming beautiful
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
|
my god that earl frost is killing that poor flower take it into the heat you penned beautiful your words like a flower blooming beautiful
Comment Written 28-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
-
Thank you.
Steve
Comment from Titan Black
Yes, the things we can't see coming. And
if we could, I still don't think that people
would use prevention methods. You did
A nice job at writing this poem. I like the build up
and how you subtly came to the cllimax of
your point at the end.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
|
Yes, the things we can't see coming. And
if we could, I still don't think that people
would use prevention methods. You did
A nice job at writing this poem. I like the build up
and how you subtly came to the cllimax of
your point at the end.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
-
Thank you.
Steve
-
No problem. And when you get the chance, visit my page, and let me know what you think of my poetry. And if you like it, fan me. And stay connected. For, networking works.
-
No problem. And let me know what you think of my poetry. And fan me. Because networking works. Stay connected.
Comment from Maria C.
A very good Rondeau giving tribute to a young friend. Good descriptive wording, good use of alliteration and consonance and of enjambment. Excellent metaphor with death due to early frost killing young life and an early frost for death of the young person who tragically died. Well done.
Blessings,
Maria C.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
|
A very good Rondeau giving tribute to a young friend. Good descriptive wording, good use of alliteration and consonance and of enjambment. Excellent metaphor with death due to early frost killing young life and an early frost for death of the young person who tragically died. Well done.
Blessings,
Maria C.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
-
Maria, thanks for the great review.
Steve
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
Your metaphor/Rondeau is very sad, Steve. I often think about the young people driving, sixteen and seventeen-year-olds. So many die from lack of experience at driving and at life. An early frost can bite deep. Great picture and great poem, Giddy
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
|
Your metaphor/Rondeau is very sad, Steve. I often think about the young people driving, sixteen and seventeen-year-olds. So many die from lack of experience at driving and at life. An early frost can bite deep. Great picture and great poem, Giddy
Comment Written 27-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
-
Thanks, Giddy.
The thing about such tragedies is the ripple effect on friends and family, changing so many lives forever.
Steve
Comment from Joan E.
I enjoyed your rhymes and repeats in this rondeau. The artwork and color background you chose are quite synergistic. I admired your "early frost" metaphor and found it very poignant as a remembrance of youths lost to drink and drugs. -Joan
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
|
I enjoyed your rhymes and repeats in this rondeau. The artwork and color background you chose are quite synergistic. I admired your "early frost" metaphor and found it very poignant as a remembrance of youths lost to drink and drugs. -Joan
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2013
-
Thanks, Joan.
Comment from GarthL
Beautifully presented and thought provoking in the extreme. Many are taken far too young and it leaves many regrets and what-ifs. Great analogy and metaphor in this Early Frost. Thanks for the reminder that life is precious. Livelove, Garth
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
|
Beautifully presented and thought provoking in the extreme. Many are taken far too young and it leaves many regrets and what-ifs. Great analogy and metaphor in this Early Frost. Thanks for the reminder that life is precious. Livelove, Garth
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
-
Thanks, Garth.
Steve
-
Cheers mate!
Comment from Lovinia
Hi Steve
Beautifully penned. A sad lament for these caught up with drugs and alcohol and then drive. Even more so because of the 'innocent' lives affected by this form of irresponsibility, disrespect and stupidity in some and sheer pain and inability to cope for others.
Death too soon by chance, misfortune and a horror to live with for the survivors. You have executed excellent social comment while revering those left behind after such human folly. Yes, so unnecessary
Your presentation is nothing less than magnificent.. I appreciate the form of your poem explained, both from a learning aspect and for reviewers unfamiliar with the form (or at least the rules of the form).
"An early frost" is a poignant and effective metaphor in arousing strong emotions. "harvests fallen", " "Unripened at the reaper's side", "The tend'rest flower of all has died" - exceptional phrases and word usage rip at the heart of the reader and bring home the power of your message.
You have referenced Poppi, someone I assume well known to you in your own personal experience - I offer my condolence. An outstanding tribute to a friend and others who have experienced such tragedy. Your sentiments are strong and definitely heartfelt and your penmanship outstanding. Great work.
Warmest regards - Lovi xoxox
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
|
Hi Steve
Beautifully penned. A sad lament for these caught up with drugs and alcohol and then drive. Even more so because of the 'innocent' lives affected by this form of irresponsibility, disrespect and stupidity in some and sheer pain and inability to cope for others.
Death too soon by chance, misfortune and a horror to live with for the survivors. You have executed excellent social comment while revering those left behind after such human folly. Yes, so unnecessary
Your presentation is nothing less than magnificent.. I appreciate the form of your poem explained, both from a learning aspect and for reviewers unfamiliar with the form (or at least the rules of the form).
"An early frost" is a poignant and effective metaphor in arousing strong emotions. "harvests fallen", " "Unripened at the reaper's side", "The tend'rest flower of all has died" - exceptional phrases and word usage rip at the heart of the reader and bring home the power of your message.
You have referenced Poppi, someone I assume well known to you in your own personal experience - I offer my condolence. An outstanding tribute to a friend and others who have experienced such tragedy. Your sentiments are strong and definitely heartfelt and your penmanship outstanding. Great work.
Warmest regards - Lovi xoxox
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
-
Lovinia, thanks so much for the thorough and thoughtful review and, of course, the six stars.
Poppi is the daughter of friends, tragically killed earlier this year. Like many families who have to go through this heartbreak, they will never fully recover.
Steve
Comment from CrystieCookie999
Looks like you definitely did your best to adhere to the rondeau form, which I've only tried once that I can think of. I guess you could make "families" into "fam'lies" and "flower" into "flow'r" to make sure people read it with the number of syllables you want. I think this would be a great poem to memorialize someone who died young. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
|
Looks like you definitely did your best to adhere to the rondeau form, which I've only tried once that I can think of. I guess you could make "families" into "fam'lies" and "flower" into "flow'r" to make sure people read it with the number of syllables you want. I think this would be a great poem to memorialize someone who died young. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2013
-
Thanks, Crystle
Steve
