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I Choose Rainbows

Viewing comments for Chapter 144 "The Tinnitus Effect On Thoughts"
Thoughts from the dark side

7 total reviews 
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Excellent
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This reminds me of why I got up early and went on to FS after laying in bed, not being able to get back to sleep with thoughts jumbling around in my head. This is a good descriptive write and you can feel the jumbled thoughts and emotions as you read.

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
    Thanks for the review. Do you also have Tinnitus?

    Norm
reply by Pearl Edwards on 21-Jun-2013
    No I don't but my husband does.
Comment from Louise Michelle
Excellent
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Glad I found out what Tinnitu is. Once the reader understands, it makes this poem more enjoyable. Why don't you add an explanation in your author's notes? Lou

 Comment Written 20-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 20-Jun-2013
    Sounds like a good idea but it is hard to describe the obnoxiousness of the sounds.

    Norm
Comment from Carolyn 'Deaton' Stephens
Excellent
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Hi there, as I read your poem, it brought the image of the statue 'The Thinker' to mind. ( A picture from fanart, which is free, would enhance this piece) Your free verse poem is, while abstract, packed with emotion, real feelings and a look at the inner you. I rated it a five as there were no SPAG errors.Good job, keep on writing. Carolyn

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
    Thanks for the review. The poem was really about the effects of Tinnitu on thoughts. Tinnitu is a terrible noise wrenching sound that only the afflicted can here. It drives me crazy and effects the way I think.
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Excellent
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Mere thinking and thinking of thoughts on thoughts and for thoughts is not enough, nothing changes, world goes on in its turn and order, excessive thoughts and no action brings disaster and disruption, I liked. 13/619

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
    Thanks for the review. The poem was really about the effects of Tinnitu on thoughts. Tinnitu is a terrible noise wrenching sound that only the afflicted can here. It drives me crazy and effects the way I think.
Comment from SteveY
Excellent
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I think a lot of people can feel this way at times. But remember that you are not your thoughts, you are the one "having" your thoughts and that's different. Too many times people identify with their thoughts as if that's who they were. But you are not your thoughts, you are the Soul, perfect and already made in the image of God! Already peaceful, already happy within, behind your thoughts!

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
    Thanks for the review. The poem was really about the effects of Tinnitu on thoughts. Tinnitu is a terrible noise wrenching sound that only the afflicted can here. It drives me crazy and effects the way I think.
Comment from Jackarrie
Excellent
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Apparently we have 60 thousand thoughts a day, But every day we repeat 90% of them So your poem of thoughts shows you are a person who is deep thinking.
Well done,

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
    I thought I should thank you for the review.

    Norm
reply by Jackarrie on 19-Jun-2013
    That's what you do well yea,!!!!
Comment from Cry the Vile Rebel
Excellent
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By stating the obvious ("becomes vaguely vague" and "I am afraid of...fear",) you very artfully underscore and emphasism the gist of this poem. I am really liking your technique.

 Comment Written 19-Jun-2013


reply by the author on 19-Jun-2013
    Thanks for the review. What would it take to improve the poem?

    Norm
reply by Cry the Vile Rebel on 19-Jun-2013
    You know, I really do like this, which is saying something, since I havn't dabbled much in free form. I think, if it were my poem, I would play around with its form...first trying it centered on the page, and then experiment with the phrasing, perhaps a few longer lines? I might well end up with it back in the form it is now.