Sewn Into the Sky
Viewing comments for Chapter 6 "Tears of a Rose"Collection of Free Style Poetry
7 total reviews
Comment from Selina Stambi
Your lines drip with imagery, Gregory. At times hard to read for the depth of feeling they convey.
Beautifully done.
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Your lines drip with imagery, Gregory. At times hard to read for the depth of feeling they convey.
Beautifully done.
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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Thank you so very much! Could you do me a huge favor and tell me a line that does not convey correctly so I can think about amending it?
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I'll have to go back and look - I rated you entirely on the beauty and craftsmanship of the lines. I found this a fairly difficult read - very intense. That is not a criticism, by the way. Just a comment! :)
Comment from IndianaIrish
What a beautiful free verse poem this is. Your use of alliteration, enjambment, internal rhyme, and that wonderful metaphor of an ant fighting a hawk makes your poem a pleasure to read. It's a pretty normal human behavior to take out our emotions on the people who love us the most, but our regret seems to be washed away because they forgive us with their love.
Smiles,
Indy : )
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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What a beautiful free verse poem this is. Your use of alliteration, enjambment, internal rhyme, and that wonderful metaphor of an ant fighting a hawk makes your poem a pleasure to read. It's a pretty normal human behavior to take out our emotions on the people who love us the most, but our regret seems to be washed away because they forgive us with their love.
Smiles,
Indy : )
Comment Written 27-May-2013
reply by the author on 27-May-2013
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You're so right. I am so grateful that they forgive us. Thank you So very much for the compliments. You are a very well trained writer. I have to be honest, I didn't know that term before tonight! (Enjambment). I just write from my heart, but I try as hard as I can to make it flow the way it would as if I were reading it aloud to someone. Sometimes I think that can actually get me in trouble with sticklers of proper format. Most of my poems flow well but they have to be read a certain way. Youre an expert at doing that easily with your poems btw. Thank you so much for commenting on it though., I am so grateful to hear those compliments!
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You can't ever go wrong when writing from the heart. I'm sure not an expert, because with poetry it seems like I learn something new all the time. But I have taken some FanStory classes to help me learn specific poetry and that sure has helped ... Plus reading the poetry here and using google to look up formats. BTW, people use all kinds of names here ... Are you Gregory or Greg for real?
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Greg actually
Comment from NicciFaye
Gregory, this is deep!!! I can't count the number of exceptional phrases penned here. This is a plea of forgiveness at a whole new level. Well written.
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Gregory, this is deep!!! I can't count the number of exceptional phrases penned here. This is a plea of forgiveness at a whole new level. Well written.
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Oh thank you! Yes it is an apology pretty much, for taking out my personal pain on my loved ones by snapping at them, or being distant etc. I feel awful doing that. They are the ones that love you. Thank you for reading and saying such nice things Nicci
Comment from Sam Mendonca
You really did an excellent job with this poem.
I really like the way you express different types of feelings that a person can have.
The rose was an excellent choice of photo to go along with the poem :D
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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You really did an excellent job with this poem.
I really like the way you express different types of feelings that a person can have.
The rose was an excellent choice of photo to go along with the poem :D
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Thank you so much Sam! It was a sort of apology for taking out my personal issues on my loved ones by maybe snapping at them or reacting coldly. I feel awful when I do that. I battle pain mentally (inherited from my mother And father) so its hard to keep it separate, its hard to not act grumpy or cold sometimes. Actually I'm not really grumpy, just distant at times. Thank you for reviewing and for your wonderful words!
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Maybe you should make copies of the writing and
give to your family. :)
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I am going to read it to my wife tonight...In a very grumpy tone. Haha no I am looking forward to sharing it with her! I really want her to know how much I appreciate her.
Comment from samandlancelot
Greg,
Very pretty rose picture you found to pair with your poem.
Oh, your first line caught my breath, after enjoying the beauty in the picture.
I once told God that Jesus could never understand how I felt about myself because Jesus never sinned. It wasn't the big sins I committed before I was saved; it was my failures after I knew the truth that beat me up the most.
Then God showed me that Jesus knew exactly how it felt to sin. The consequences of sin is separation from God. Jesus was separated from God, His Father, on the cross when He took on the sin of the world.
Now, because of what Jesus suffered, no matter what I do wrong, I don't need to beat myself up over it because God doesn't. Jesus carries every sin for us that we will ever commit.
I've learned that when God wants to correct me, I am always filled with joy. When Satan wants to judge me, I am filled with a feeling of guilt and insecurity over my walk with God.
I get excited when I find out something new from God because He gives me the power to be someone new as I go forward with His new information.
Anyway, Greg, I love your writing. This is a wonderful poem.
The only word that I wonder about is 'enteral in the second to last line.' I didn't know the meaning so I looked it up. My understanding is that it comes by way of intestines. Perhaps there's another definition, but this doesn't seem like the place where your love voice would come from.
Patricia
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Greg,
Very pretty rose picture you found to pair with your poem.
Oh, your first line caught my breath, after enjoying the beauty in the picture.
I once told God that Jesus could never understand how I felt about myself because Jesus never sinned. It wasn't the big sins I committed before I was saved; it was my failures after I knew the truth that beat me up the most.
Then God showed me that Jesus knew exactly how it felt to sin. The consequences of sin is separation from God. Jesus was separated from God, His Father, on the cross when He took on the sin of the world.
Now, because of what Jesus suffered, no matter what I do wrong, I don't need to beat myself up over it because God doesn't. Jesus carries every sin for us that we will ever commit.
I've learned that when God wants to correct me, I am always filled with joy. When Satan wants to judge me, I am filled with a feeling of guilt and insecurity over my walk with God.
I get excited when I find out something new from God because He gives me the power to be someone new as I go forward with His new information.
Anyway, Greg, I love your writing. This is a wonderful poem.
The only word that I wonder about is 'enteral in the second to last line.' I didn't know the meaning so I looked it up. My understanding is that it comes by way of intestines. Perhaps there's another definition, but this doesn't seem like the place where your love voice would come from.
Patricia
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Haha oops! That was supposed to be eternal! Hahaha.
Anyway Patricia, I cannot, cannot tell you how INSPIRATIONAL your message just now was. I've been feeling like a failure in relation to sinning. You have just made so much better. It's the devil giving that guilt. I need to stop beating myself up as much. I am open eared to God at all times. I am always waiting for Him to speak to me. Unfortunately the world, life, is too loud sometimes I fear. I battle sadness (inherited from my mother) and it makes it hard to get out of it. So I pray. But Patricia sometimes I just don't hear Him, as I told you before. I don't know why I have to feel pain. I just don't. I wish I didn't. But I suppose there's a purpose?
Thank you for your beautiful message and wonderful review!
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Greg,
That misspelled word is too funny.
There's times I don't hear God either. It's horrible. But there are places within us that cannot be reached any other way. It is an every day fight, and it is normal if you are seeking Him that you are going struggle. It's worth the fight, I am sure you know. The more you do hear God, the more you will be convinced that in every situation God knows what He's doing, and it will turn out for your good.
Patricia
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I believe you. That really makes me think. I'm doing what is in His plan because I AM good and I feel Him working through me. He loves me. Even though it hurts right now He knows its for a better purpose right?
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Yes. He knows exactly why He has you where He has you. The important thing that will help you get through is God's truth. The truth is that you are righteous because you believe God. When you feel condemned, speak the truth: I am not condemned. I am righteous because I believe. God is good, and He will provide for me.
God's love is not based on your performance.
I hope this helps.
Patricia
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it does Patricia, again it really does...
Comment from 127197
Great poetry! The poetry flowed quite well, though the topic was almost to abstract to understand. If this was for a contest, was it a blank verse, if not, you may want to add rhythm or rhyme.
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Great poetry! The poetry flowed quite well, though the topic was almost to abstract to understand. If this was for a contest, was it a blank verse, if not, you may want to add rhythm or rhyme.
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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There is a lot of rhythm actually, i understand why you'd think that though, it just has to be read a certain way (like all my poems). It is not for a contest. It's basically talking about taking my personal pain out on my loved ones. I.e. if I'm sad I might snap at them, etc. it's more of an apology I suppose. This is more of free verse than blank I think. I don't like labels but they serve their purpose I suppose. I truly, humbly thank you for reading and reviewing. It means a lot. Thank you. Hey, maybe ill add a voice recording to it! Thanks for that!
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Great idea! My poems seem to only make sense when read a certain way as well!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Well Gregory, you have put everything in this poem, there is so much emotion pouring out. The imagery is strong and the words really are powerful. This is a really good well written poem and a pleasure to read. xsx
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Well Gregory, you have put everything in this poem, there is so much emotion pouring out. The imagery is strong and the words really are powerful. This is a really good well written poem and a pleasure to read. xsx
Comment Written 26-May-2013
reply by the author on 26-May-2013
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Thanks so very much. It is true. I feel awful when I take any personal pain out on my loved ones. I really do feel awful about it. It's an apology I purpose. Thank you for reading!
