Reviews from

Love Like Crazy, More Than Gold!

a word of advice from You Know Who - 1550 words

52 total reviews 
Comment from Flamingbush
Excellent
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Very entertaining, as your writing usually is, my dear. There's much I could comment on. Let me simply share with you my favorite lines:

That 7-year-old Profile picture you have on Fanstory doesn't fool anybody, you know.

No, dear, not JanIS - JanIS your mom!

Didn't mean to let the cat out of the bag! No dear, I'm not calling you a bag!

I also love the part about your precious little boy "turning left across the green without waiting for the arrow"

But my favorite line which you repeat enough - but not too many - times at the end:

Let's love like crazy, more than gold
And not get stuck in stuff that's old

I love it when people look forward to the future and don't talk as if they're stuck in the past.

 Comment Written 30-May-2013


reply by the author on 30-May-2013
    aah, it sounds like we speak the same language my dear! old enough for wisdom, but not quite old enough to be a goner yet ... hmm? Bless you for reviewing for a mean old two cents! I totally appreciate it and am so glad you enjoyed my little nasties!
    :)Sharyn
reply by Flamingbush on 30-May-2013
    Yes, I do enjoy your humor, especially the part about the teenage driver. It's not easy being with them on the road. I've helped train three and now I have a son-in-law to help with my youngest - a real blessing.
Comment from Carrie Carson
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Interesting way to weave the letter into a more unusual setting. Janus and Janice...coincidence?

No spag, great form, you always do so well with this format.

Good luck in the contest...there are some beauties here. :) Carrie

 Comment Written 30-May-2013


reply by the author on 30-May-2013
    Bless you Carrie - that was so sweet of you to review this one for two big cents!
    :)Sharyn
Comment from wordsareus
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This is a very original and artistic entry. I love the uniqueness of it. It definitely fits your style and personality. Good luck!

 Comment Written 30-May-2013


reply by the author on 30-May-2013
    Thank you so much my dear! that was so sweet of you to review this one for two big cents!
    :)Sharyn
Comment from Adora Bayles
Excellent
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I love it. You picture it so dramatically, I can see the curtains, the swing, you, the twinkly things the stage hand may call star lighting and the LYRICS! It's raw and great. I found just one little glitch in your spelling:
and the letter, disbelievingly, than back down to letter. She continues): THEN. (THAN DEALS WITH COMPARISON, AS IN MORE THAN, LESS THAN. THEN RHYMES WITH WHEN AND BOTH CONNOTE TIME.
Conni
aka Adora


 Comment Written 29-May-2013


reply by the author on 29-May-2013
    I'm so glad you liked this one Conni - a bit outside the box for some people, but then I don't like being in the box anyway. Bless you for your eagle eye on the typo! I fixed it and you were the first (and only) one to notice. Bless those eagle eyes! :)S
Comment from a.w.brooks
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Very good story but I was a little confused to the Script part if it read like a letter I think it would have been a little better but hey what do I know but it was a good read thanks and good luck in the contest

 Comment Written 29-May-2013


reply by the author on 29-May-2013
    She's actually 'performing' the letter a.w. - remember it shows a Storyteller receiving the letter, and the starting to assume the character of God? sorry! if you're not used to script-reading it can be a little difficult, but in performance it would be very clear. :)S
Comment from fairydancer
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Hi Sharyn,
this is a very unique take on this contest. Very artisticle done! Extremely creative.
I absolutely LOVE the two Triolets at the end, as your conclusion to this well thought-out piece. Good luck - Cally :)))

 Comment Written 29-May-2013


reply by the author on 29-May-2013
    Bless you Cally - thank you! :)s
Comment from Clipper962
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I like the way you wrote this story, and put it into a
play. I like the line that shows gratitude. Just love
Where you are and who you are with.

 Comment Written 29-May-2013


reply by the author on 29-May-2013
    thx Clipper! :)S
Comment from Leineco
Good
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I am not sure how to approach this one...the chosen style (story script with stage directions) was certainly inventive...but somewhat confusing at times - still, the essence came through. There were a few spots where the "letter" seemed more like a conversation (including reactions to your unspoken words) than a "signed/sealed/delivered letter. But then, I have written letters that way myself, so why wouldn't the HP.
However, I did not feel you addressed the prompt directive regarding " a point of clarity shared between you and HP.". I mean, it seemed more like a "catch-up" letter from an old friend, with a little advice thrown in...I never fully felt there was something you needed the HP to clarify. (Unless I was supposed to believe you didn't already know They wanted you to LOVE).
Literarily, I thought you did a great job...but I just felt you missed the mark on the clarity issue (sorry)

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 29-May-2013


reply by the author on 29-May-2013
    then it seems that you sort of missed the point, hmm? it's all there - trust me dear.
    :)S
Comment from Dean Kuch
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What a delightfully witty, hilarious yet touching story of coming to grips with getting older. You make so many great points in this, but the one I took away most was to live your life for today, with all of the gusto and zeal you can humanly muster. This entire piece, from the poignantly worded narration, to the wonderful poetry, was a refreshing treat. I am so glad that I ran across "Love Like Crazy, More Than Gold"

On a side note, hilarious reference to JM de Silva. he has been an invaluable help, as well as a wonderful friend, my entire time here on FanStory...

 Comment Written 23-May-2013


reply by the author on 23-May-2013
    thx so much Dean! I believed we distinguished ourselves in the reviewing department last month!
    :)Sharyn
Comment from barkingdog
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I feel like I've been schooled after reading your notes. Thank you for including all of the historical info on Janus. I'd seen the double-faced head before but had no idea what it represented.

Your letter from God about getting older is great. I like your mix of monologue prose and poetry.

All in all this is a most enjoyable read with a fine philosophy with which I agree. LOL

Best of luck in the contest, Sharyn.

 Comment Written 22-May-2013


reply by the author on 22-May-2013
    Thx so much bd! :) hopefully 'schooled' in a good way dear!