Comment from fly4hi

Excellent

Wow, you are waving the white flag without
hesitation. I am glad that you feel secure.
Seems whirlwind and delicious. Enjoy. fly

 Comment Written 21-May-2005

Comment from amaranthblue

Excellent

Perfect and wonderful... These words spoke so much of feelings that I can relate to so easily. You captured the moment the experience and that is not an easy thing to do. You have done it with such an eloquent touch of loveliness...

 Comment Written 19-May-2005

Comment from 24chas

Excellent

I love the way you incorporated natural elements into this poem, Pili. The imagery itself was also very nice. Don't change a thing.

 Comment Written 18-May-2005

Comment from Lpspider

Excellent

This was another great poem. The style of this piece of writing is uniquely your own, and you do it well. I liked the ending espeically. Very strong and powerful. Simple, but it has an effect. Well done. One note---

brought to my life
in a night =-----I suggest placing a comma after 'life'.

 Comment Written 17-May-2005

Comment from Focused True North

Excellent

The heartbeat of emotion fills the lines with intense beauty.
Everything about the poem is superb.
Enjoyed experiencing this work very much, Pili.

 Comment Written 17-May-2005

Comment from Michael Firewalker

Excellent

You have managed to mix your own deeply personal inner serenity with the intense, newborn, emotions of love in this poem----I know I could not do that, and I admire it muchly----here is a pleasing and detailed description of the inner process of unexpectedly falling in love----I especially admire your wisdom in letting your lover's tenderness sustain you while you swim "the waters of fear and vulnerability".

 Comment Written 17-May-2005

Comment from CATTERPILLAR

Excellent

Love this poem.
It reminds me of my first true love. The one that has you in a trance like state of mind. You feel as if you were in paradise and all was at your feet for the taking.

 Comment Written 17-May-2005

Comment from sengwriter

Excellent

Hi Pili, definitely you surrendered as the total poem stated the force with which you got lost in the high tide of love and passion and the call from the love of your desire was so pure and genuine that you seemed to have no other way of genuineness but to surrender. I support your passion that is expressed here. Your language is so unidirectional, so feignless that a reader doesn't have to make any wild search to get to your theme. Your poem itself is forceful saga of a pure love and great art of desire and passion that sometimes help one to get his or her trusted destiny. Wonder of your style and flow has simply made me spell bound. Just keep it up. Gautam.

 Comment Written 17-May-2005

Comment from Bryana

Excellent

It's absolutely wonderful to wake up
to a poem like this!! I would also surrender
if I find myself enveloped in warmth and
adoration!
Awesome poem Pili. Thank you for taking me
in that whirlwind of emotions.

Have a good day my friend.

 Comment Written 17-May-2005

Comment from mfwilkie

Excellent

Hi, Pili, I made some changes to tighten this up a bit and help the flow.

The oceans of fate
and loving winds,
brought a love
that snatched my heart,
unexpectedly,
with hurricane force..


Breaking
the music of silence,
I find myself lost
in a whirlwind
of emotions,
that awoke
all my senses.

I staggered,
breathless,
swimming through
the waters of fear
and vulnerability,
letting your tenderness
sustain me.

Enveloped
in the warmth
of your adoration,
I find serenity
in your reassuring eyes,
embracing our destiny
with trust and joy.

I surrender.

 Comment Written 17-May-2005