A Soldier Story
totally free verse start letters in capitals (I like it)19 total reviews
Comment from adewpearl
Excellent use of enjambment to make your poem flow
excellent consonance in silent pools of love flooding and beautiful expression of loving emotion
good alliteration and imagery in tidal tear
what a moving story of a father, home from the war, meeting his baby son :-) I love that this brave soldier is reduced to quivering emotion Brooke
reply by the author on 07-May-2013
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Excellent use of enjambment to make your poem flow
excellent consonance in silent pools of love flooding and beautiful expression of loving emotion
good alliteration and imagery in tidal tear
what a moving story of a father, home from the war, meeting his baby son :-) I love that this brave soldier is reduced to quivering emotion Brooke
Comment Written 04-May-2013
reply by the author on 07-May-2013
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thxs so much for your wonderful comments
lulube
Comment from gazzagodbod
his uncontrolled inner damn of love wow love this poem my friend so well written and your words are beautiful well done xxgazzagodbodxx
reply by the author on 07-May-2013
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his uncontrolled inner damn of love wow love this poem my friend so well written and your words are beautiful well done xxgazzagodbodxx
Comment Written 03-May-2013
reply by the author on 07-May-2013
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thxs gazza! don't know how that came out. but /I like it.
lulube
Comment from God's Writer
This is an exceptional poem my friend. I am afraid there aren't enough stars in the heavens for this awesome poem. So sweet and sentimental.
Shalom,
Rabbi Erick
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
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This is an exceptional poem my friend. I am afraid there aren't enough stars in the heavens for this awesome poem. So sweet and sentimental.
Shalom,
Rabbi Erick
Comment Written 03-May-2013
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
ahhh, thank you. Such a sweet review.
lulube
Comment from Debra White
This is simply beautiful Lulube.
From one extreme to another - death of comrades one day to the birth of his baby boy the next.
'Rapid blinking
Proving unsuccessful
As the force
Of a tidal tear
Streamed down his cheeks'
So moving..... I loved it :) Debra x
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
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This is simply beautiful Lulube.
From one extreme to another - death of comrades one day to the birth of his baby boy the next.
'Rapid blinking
Proving unsuccessful
As the force
Of a tidal tear
Streamed down his cheeks'
So moving..... I loved it :) Debra x
Comment Written 02-May-2013
reply by the author on 03-May-2013
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thank you so much for your generous 6 stars and your comments
lulube
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Lulube,
This is a heart-warming poem, and it tells its story well. The soldier returns home from war to see his baby for the first time, and the emotions spill over. It is a pleasant read.
Curtis
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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Lulube,
This is a heart-warming poem, and it tells its story well. The soldier returns home from war to see his baby for the first time, and the emotions spill over. It is a pleasant read.
Curtis
Comment Written 01-May-2013
reply by the author on 02-May-2013
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thxs Curtis for nyour read and for your comments
lulube
Comment from bettymiss
Oh My God this is unreal so touching , so real to life you have a real gift to put this into words just by reading the news absolutely beautiful , thankyou for sharing this :)
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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Oh My God this is unreal so touching , so real to life you have a real gift to put this into words just by reading the news absolutely beautiful , thankyou for sharing this :)
Comment Written 30-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 01-May-2013
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thxs so much for your kind review.
lulube
Comment from Pili Pubul
What a moving imagery you created with great style and word choice.
"Yesterday was death in war, Today he comes home and met his ten pounds baby boy" . Back to life again fortunately. Great writing. Pili
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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What a moving imagery you created with great style and word choice.
"Yesterday was death in war, Today he comes home and met his ten pounds baby boy" . Back to life again fortunately. Great writing. Pili
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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thxs for your read and comments
lulube
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You are very welcome. Pili
Comment from Nebukadneser
Absolutely brilliant, me girl. It brought a tear to mine eye too you naughty you, but don't tell anybody else or i'll give you one star. You are the other side of brilliant, me girl
This poem ids beautiful and filled with the wow factor.
Well done
you're a chick with diamonds in her hair
cool bananas and warm regards
Nebukadneser
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Absolutely brilliant, me girl. It brought a tear to mine eye too you naughty you, but don't tell anybody else or i'll give you one star. You are the other side of brilliant, me girl
This poem ids beautiful and filled with the wow factor.
Well done
you're a chick with diamonds in her hair
cool bananas and warm regards
Nebukadneser
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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thxs Neb Bartenders die with secrets not that I'm dead yet.
Nice review, and I'm not a chick I'm a OTB lol
lulube
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Sorry Ned that I forgot to post what OTB is
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Sorry Ned that I forgot to post what OTB is - Older Type Broad
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
This contains a mixture of sadness and joy, but in the end the sadness overwhelms with the death of the soldier. It is sad that a baby has to grow up without his father. Giddy
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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This contains a mixture of sadness and joy, but in the end the sadness overwhelms with the death of the soldier. It is sad that a baby has to grow up without his father. Giddy
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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I'm sorry my writing led you to think that the soldier died but here's a new ending for you, he comes home and meets his 10 lbs. baby boy.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
Yes, our town is a garrison town and this scene often plays out on our TV News. Very good descriptions through out puts the reader their with the soldier holding his newborn for the first time.Well done.
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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Yes, our town is a garrison town and this scene often plays out on our TV News. Very good descriptions through out puts the reader their with the soldier holding his newborn for the first time.Well done.
Comment Written 28-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 28-Apr-2013
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thxs Pearl. I like your review.
lulube
