From our soul.
Viewing comments for Chapter 11 "You are the one."Mostly romance.
18 total reviews
Comment from amaranthblue
So lovely. I loved the images and feelings your words created. The picture of love and wonder filled each word with such a beautiful picture... I have missed the soft enchantment of your words my friend...
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So lovely. I loved the images and feelings your words created. The picture of love and wonder filled each word with such a beautiful picture... I have missed the soft enchantment of your words my friend...
Comment Written 19-May-2005
Comment from Waterbird
The light of love
that shines
over your whole being,
gives me a clear signal,
you are
the one for me. - Don't need a comma
after being or signal.
Love this Pili. The imagery and use of
language is well done. I'm proud of your
growth as an artist.
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The light of love
that shines
over your whole being,
gives me a clear signal,
you are
the one for me. - Don't need a comma
after being or signal.
Love this Pili. The imagery and use of
language is well done. I'm proud of your
growth as an artist.
Comment Written 18-May-2005
Comment from Delhini
Nightingale... Countless the songs as countless the poems... that mention the nightingale. But yours is yours and as always beautiful.
D
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Nightingale... Countless the songs as countless the poems... that mention the nightingale. But yours is yours and as always beautiful.
D
Comment Written 17-May-2005
Comment from Lpspider
Hmmm...this was great. Not your best piece of writing that I've seen so far, but this was excelent overall. Very good job here. Great description.
I have no critism or suggestions for this. This was great.
Lpspider
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Hmmm...this was great. Not your best piece of writing that I've seen so far, but this was excelent overall. Very good job here. Great description.
I have no critism or suggestions for this. This was great.
Lpspider
Comment Written 16-May-2005
Comment from Lisloh
Hi Pili,
I don't know what to say other than this is so good there are no 'words' to give that would compliment it appropriately.
I know that feeling and oh...to have it back.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh
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Hi Pili,
I don't know what to say other than this is so good there are no 'words' to give that would compliment it appropriately.
I know that feeling and oh...to have it back.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh
Comment Written 16-May-2005
Comment from Hetty
Hi Pili,
This is love poetry at its best - romantically lyrical and wrapped up in the world of romance.
No nits. Excellent work Pili.
Hetty
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Hi Pili,
This is love poetry at its best - romantically lyrical and wrapped up in the world of romance.
No nits. Excellent work Pili.
Hetty
Comment Written 16-May-2005
Comment from 24chas
As always, this was a great bit of writing, Pili. The last verse, I thought, was particularly strong. Don't change a thing. Great job.
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As always, this was a great bit of writing, Pili. The last verse, I thought, was particularly strong. Don't change a thing. Great job.
Comment Written 16-May-2005
Comment from shelley kaye
beautiflul poem of romantic love!
swimming and dancing
in the feeling.....
"In a paradise
of our own,
we swim
through waves
of bliss.
We dance
in pure delight,"
nicely done
thanx for sharing :-)
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beautiflul poem of romantic love!
swimming and dancing
in the feeling.....
"In a paradise
of our own,
we swim
through waves
of bliss.
We dance
in pure delight,"
nicely done
thanx for sharing :-)
Comment Written 16-May-2005
Comment from Ls
Not as perfect as what you normally put out, I'm afraid. What the heck, can't be perfect 100% of the time. Still, it may just be me that is the imperfect one here.
that my soul fly [should that be flies]
with yours
beyond the limits
of existence. [Never understood what "beyond the limits of existence means.]
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Not as perfect as what you normally put out, I'm afraid. What the heck, can't be perfect 100% of the time. Still, it may just be me that is the imperfect one here.
that my soul fly [should that be flies]
with yours
beyond the limits
of existence. [Never understood what "beyond the limits of existence means.]
Comment Written 16-May-2005
Comment from clhutchinson
A gentle tide rolls out this beautiful verse, filled with love and awesome expressions. Vivid details continue on adding beauty t this free verse.
IN "is such a soaring force,
that my soul fly " two things hit me. 1. ) "such" sticks out, it fits but it does something I can't put my finger on.
2) "soul fly" A singular noun with a pleural verb really sticks out, tripping the verse a bit. But adding a "tense" such as "will fly would work fine. Just a couple of suggestions.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
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A gentle tide rolls out this beautiful verse, filled with love and awesome expressions. Vivid details continue on adding beauty t this free verse.
IN "is such a soaring force,
that my soul fly " two things hit me. 1. ) "such" sticks out, it fits but it does something I can't put my finger on.
2) "soul fly" A singular noun with a pleural verb really sticks out, tripping the verse a bit. But adding a "tense" such as "will fly would work fine. Just a couple of suggestions.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 16-May-2005
