Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 36 "Suta Moon"Murder Mystery
40 total reviews
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Oh dear the plot thickens. I can't wait to read the next post. I don't like Darcy.
He'd not spoken of his mounting terror his mother was forever estranged from him due to her suicide. (I read this sentence three times and I stumbled each time. I am not sure what the problem is.)
He stepped to the customer's side and, without a glance in Margie's direction, dismissed her. (pretty sure the comma needs to be in front of and)
I see you have the key to your aunt's deposit box." he bagan (began)
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Oh dear the plot thickens. I can't wait to read the next post. I don't like Darcy.
He'd not spoken of his mounting terror his mother was forever estranged from him due to her suicide. (I read this sentence three times and I stumbled each time. I am not sure what the problem is.)
He stepped to the customer's side and, without a glance in Margie's direction, dismissed her. (pretty sure the comma needs to be in front of and)
I see you have the key to your aunt's deposit box." he bagan (began)
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Hi, barbara. Thank you for this excellent review and helpful suggestions. I agree that sentence may need to be trimmed. I'll take a look at that and appreciate you mentioning it.
Kindest regards, Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
I loved the way you described Brian's gift of peace in the confessional. It's pretty much the way it happens, I think.
I liked the parting scene between Brian and Father Borkowski. Brian is a sensitive, savvy friend- and maybe a bit psychic.
Darcy, on the other hand, sounds like a typically selfish woman. Who am I to judge, uh? LOL!
Crap! Aunt Debra's death is going to interfere with her vacation to Mexico!
Well done, Bev. Nice, flowing prose. Smooth as glass. I always enjoy your chapters. Yea!!!
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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I loved the way you described Brian's gift of peace in the confessional. It's pretty much the way it happens, I think.
I liked the parting scene between Brian and Father Borkowski. Brian is a sensitive, savvy friend- and maybe a bit psychic.
Darcy, on the other hand, sounds like a typically selfish woman. Who am I to judge, uh? LOL!
Crap! Aunt Debra's death is going to interfere with her vacation to Mexico!
Well done, Bev. Nice, flowing prose. Smooth as glass. I always enjoy your chapters. Yea!!!
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Hi, Adrienne. Thank you so much for this awesome review. I sure appreciate the way you always encourage me through your words of support. You're the best!
Hugs, Bev
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You're really good, Bev. I wouldn't read you so faithfully unless you were fun to read. This is entertainment for me.
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Oh, you are so awesome, Adrienne. Your words mean a lot to me. Hugs, Bev
Comment from JW
This is certainly an interesting development within your story. It definite shows Darcy's true character.
Thanks for sharing this well written chapter. JW
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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This is certainly an interesting development within your story. It definite shows Darcy's true character.
Thanks for sharing this well written chapter. JW
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thanks for the encouragement and support, Jonathon. I appreciate it! Bev
Comment from rtobaygo
Excellent flow, good continuity. Believable characters and dialogue. Good balance between showing and telling. Plenty of pauses. Intro reads as an opening to Criminal Minds.
Glad I became a fan. Kudos!
Take care,
Ray
PS: Look forward to your next post.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Excellent flow, good continuity. Believable characters and dialogue. Good balance between showing and telling. Plenty of pauses. Intro reads as an opening to Criminal Minds.
Glad I became a fan. Kudos!
Take care,
Ray
PS: Look forward to your next post.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Ray, thank you so much for this wonderfully encouraging and generous review. I really appreciate you following my story! Off to check out what you're up to.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from judiverse
Good characterization of Darcy in this. She seems all about trying to see what her late aunt might have left her. She's especially disappointed to find no jewelry in the safety deposit box. She does see the death threat letters. Sounds like this may be a significant clue. What will happen when she goes to see Father Brian? Father Brian shows an uncanny ability when he knows that Father Borkowski has not been taking his medication for arthritis. Lots of excitement in this, six stars for the chills. judi
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Good characterization of Darcy in this. She seems all about trying to see what her late aunt might have left her. She's especially disappointed to find no jewelry in the safety deposit box. She does see the death threat letters. Sounds like this may be a significant clue. What will happen when she goes to see Father Brian? Father Brian shows an uncanny ability when he knows that Father Borkowski has not been taking his medication for arthritis. Lots of excitement in this, six stars for the chills. judi
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thank you so very much for this awesome review, judi. I sure appreciate the six stars and, most of all, your continued support and encourgement. Have you ever met anyone like Darcy? Unforunately I have. I still rankle at the things that person pulled. Have a good week, my friend.
Hugs, Bev
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You're so welcome. At least you got some good out of meeting a person like Darcy by using her as a character. Can't say that I knew anyone quite like her. judi
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Consider yourself fortunate, judi. Yes, I am enjoying the satisfaction of putting 'her' in print. Hugs, Bev
Comment from robina1978
Excellent photo to complement this chapter. I am always pleased to find a next chapter of your book. I am sure not either one of the priest committed the killing. And Darcy is on her way to prove it.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Excellent photo to complement this chapter. I am always pleased to find a next chapter of your book. I am sure not either one of the priest committed the killing. And Darcy is on her way to prove it.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Glad you like the photo, Ine. I try to pick one that ties into my story, so I do appreciate that very much as well as your generous review. Your encourgement is much appreciated.
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most welcome. Ine
Comment from Rondeno
Bev, this reeks of writerly professionalism. The lovely little nuances, the character delineation, the neat verbal economy ... very, very impressive!
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Bev, this reeks of writerly professionalism. The lovely little nuances, the character delineation, the neat verbal economy ... very, very impressive!
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Hi, Mikey. Thank you so much for this awesome and generous review. Coming from you, I am especially pleased. Hugs, Bev
Comment from misscookie
Another interesting chapter and of course I can't wait until the next chapter I see like me you all way put a little humor in your story I like the line that Auntie is silly a pain in the ass.
thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Another interesting chapter and of course I can't wait until the next chapter I see like me you all way put a little humor in your story I like the line that Auntie is silly a pain in the ass.
thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thanks, misscookie. Yes, I think humor lightens everything - though I have an odd sense of what's funny sometimes LOL. Thank you for another wonderful review. I so appreciate you! Hugs, Bev
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You are very welcome, until next time. my friend.
Comment from Norbanus
This story shows an excellent example of how to use dialogue and introspection to draw the reader into a scene and expose backstory.
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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This story shows an excellent example of how to use dialogue and introspection to draw the reader into a scene and expose backstory.
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much, N. Your review is especially gratifying - I worked hard on those elements in this chapter. I much appreciate your support. Warm regards, Bev
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well lwritten, writingfundimension, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where father brian talks with father alan and darcy sees the death threats her aunt received
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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this is very well lwritten, writingfundimension, you did an excellent job writing this chapter where father brian talks with father alan and darcy sees the death threats her aunt received
Comment Written 14-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 14-Apr-2013
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Thank you so much, sweet. I sure appreciate your generous support. Warm regards, Bev
