From our soul.
Viewing comments for Chapter 7 "Intimacy."Mostly romance.
25 total reviews
Comment from Ice Maiden
Hmm, I like the losing all sense of time experience...the inter-connectedness of eye contact leading souls on a journey untouched by physical issues...the timeless sense of wonder and rapture.
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Hmm, I like the losing all sense of time experience...the inter-connectedness of eye contact leading souls on a journey untouched by physical issues...the timeless sense of wonder and rapture.
Comment Written 12-May-2005
Comment from Waterbird
Oh dear. Another piece riddled with
punctuation errors. It begins in the
opening stanza and goes from there.
Exhausted
I was surrendering
to the lure of sleep,
when I discovered
your eyes.
Looking at me
with soulful
adoration.
Need a comma after exhausted. Delete
the comma after sleep, but replace the period
after eyes with a comma.
A wonderful interpretation of what it is
to be lovers. As always, I am compelled
by your work to provide assistance in your
growth. Please take the suggestions and
apply them through the rest of the work.
I am a fan for a reason.
 |
Oh dear. Another piece riddled with
punctuation errors. It begins in the
opening stanza and goes from there.
Exhausted
I was surrendering
to the lure of sleep,
when I discovered
your eyes.
Looking at me
with soulful
adoration.
Need a comma after exhausted. Delete
the comma after sleep, but replace the period
after eyes with a comma.
A wonderful interpretation of what it is
to be lovers. As always, I am compelled
by your work to provide assistance in your
growth. Please take the suggestions and
apply them through the rest of the work.
I am a fan for a reason.
Comment Written 11-May-2005
Comment from Moonchild28
Very beautiful and romantic poem. I think you were thinking of me when you wrote this poem. Many times when I was surrendering to the lure sleep, the look of adoration in those big blue eyes just warmed my heart.
Allowing the waves
of our love
to grow...
Until very gently
we sought the softness
of touching lips,
our bodies tangled
in deep embrace.
In intimate comfort,
we both fell asleep.
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Very beautiful and romantic poem. I think you were thinking of me when you wrote this poem. Many times when I was surrendering to the lure sleep, the look of adoration in those big blue eyes just warmed my heart.
Allowing the waves
of our love
to grow...
Until very gently
we sought the softness
of touching lips,
our bodies tangled
in deep embrace.
In intimate comfort,
we both fell asleep.
Comment Written 11-May-2005
Comment from Dawn of Tomorrow
How beautiful is that?? Now that is the way I dream of falling asleep. Oh sweet friend that is just wonderful. There is only one thing I would suggest.
In total silence
we connected,
losing all sense of time, (I think I would period here and start a new sentence with Drinking)
drinking from
each other
the depth
of our souls.
Breathing from
one another
in hypnotic trance.
|
How beautiful is that?? Now that is the way I dream of falling asleep. Oh sweet friend that is just wonderful. There is only one thing I would suggest.
In total silence
we connected,
losing all sense of time, (I think I would period here and start a new sentence with Drinking)
drinking from
each other
the depth
of our souls.
Breathing from
one another
in hypnotic trance.
Comment Written 11-May-2005
Comment from Helvi2
Hi Pili,
Loved your dreamy-like poem of just softly connecting with the one you love. Very Expressive and beautifully written. Loved your background too.
Helvi
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Hi Pili,
Loved your dreamy-like poem of just softly connecting with the one you love. Very Expressive and beautifully written. Loved your background too.
Helvi
Comment Written 11-May-2005
Comment from Ls
What a soothing and relaxing poem this is. No hurrying or passion spent too quickly, no this is a satisfying and heart-throbbing kind of love poem. Good.
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What a soothing and relaxing poem this is. No hurrying or passion spent too quickly, no this is a satisfying and heart-throbbing kind of love poem. Good.
Comment Written 11-May-2005
Comment from Lisloh
WOW......This is excellent. Very easy to read and flowed with no effort.
Ahhhhhh, to have fantasy become reality.....:) This would be it!
I so enjoy how you write.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh
|
WOW......This is excellent. Very easy to read and flowed with no effort.
Ahhhhhh, to have fantasy become reality.....:) This would be it!
I so enjoy how you write.
Take care & be safe
Lisloh
Comment Written 11-May-2005
Comment from Diny
Awwwwweeee!
Sometimes spooning with the one you love is the best intimant situation
I loved this
I may just have to take a nap and dream after that one!
Beautiful
Write on
Diny
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Awwwwweeee!
Sometimes spooning with the one you love is the best intimant situation
I loved this
I may just have to take a nap and dream after that one!
Beautiful
Write on
Diny
Comment Written 11-May-2005
Comment from Michael Firewalker
Life, lived fully, peaceably, and in sweetness----without interruption to the free-flow of the spirit into the mind of the soul...............................................
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Life, lived fully, peaceably, and in sweetness----without interruption to the free-flow of the spirit into the mind of the soul...............................................
Comment Written 11-May-2005
Comment from Mrs Jones
Nice presentation and a verse that does give the feeling of hapiness and comfort. Good line breaks giving the poem a perfect flow.
Well done
Cheers
Rose
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Nice presentation and a verse that does give the feeling of hapiness and comfort. Good line breaks giving the poem a perfect flow.
Well done
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 11-May-2005
