Silently sobbing
All alone she is drowning in her sorrows2 total reviews
Comment from Zinnia48
I know how challenging this genre is, so here are a couple of gentle comments. I'm a great fan of alliteration, so I'm fond of the first line. I like the image of the last line, but it's a little awkward. I wonder if you dropped the "A" and figured out another way to say that she's drowning. Thanks for sharing your poem and good luck! caroline
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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I know how challenging this genre is, so here are a couple of gentle comments. I'm a great fan of alliteration, so I'm fond of the first line. I like the image of the last line, but it's a little awkward. I wonder if you dropped the "A" and figured out another way to say that she's drowning. Thanks for sharing your poem and good luck! caroline
Comment Written 08-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your advice :) this really seems like a great website
Comment from roseellen
This is lovely but I feel that you cannot drown a river, although you can (Flood) it or even (deepen) it or (Burst) its banks.
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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This is lovely but I feel that you cannot drown a river, although you can (Flood) it or even (deepen) it or (Burst) its banks.
Comment Written 08-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 09-Apr-2013
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Thank you for your advice :)
