Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 35 "Conze Moon"Murder Mystery
49 total reviews
Comment from Norbanus
A nice job of showing the tension in this scene, But shouldn't someone have pointed out to Mat Buell that punching a police office is frowned up, even under stress?
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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A nice job of showing the tension in this scene, But shouldn't someone have pointed out to Mat Buell that punching a police office is frowned up, even under stress?
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks, N. I think they were willing to cut him some slack under the circumstances.
Comment from misscookie
This is getting better as you go.
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
I found it very exciting and interesting to read. I still can't figure out who did it yet?
Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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This is getting better as you go.
You had my attention from the first line to the last.
I found it very exciting and interesting to read. I still can't figure out who did it yet?
Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Hi, misscookie. Thank you so much for your very encouraging review. I'm thrilled you think I'm making progress with my writing skills. I do work pretty hard to improve steadily.
Your kindness and generosity mean so much!
Blessings, Bev
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Your very welcome, until next time.
Comment from c_lucas
The complexity of modern law enforcement has it share of demi-gods. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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The complexity of modern law enforcement has it share of demi-gods. This is very well written with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Charlie, thank you much for this gracious review. Warm regards, Bev
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YOu're welcome, Bev. Charlie
Comment from Virginia Pike Gielow
Wow! Excellent. I could see this scene in my mind's eye. "Consumed poultry" is an example of excellent descriptive phrases utilized in this piece. I am familiar with morgues having seen autopsies, but I am not sure the genral public would know abbreviations like TOD for time of death. There is punctuation missing after "Bloomquist desisted "but". In the 10th paragraph: "it through" is correct rather than "through it". "Because of (hers or his ) "Catholic background"? The pronoun is missing.
Very intense and I am sure it would be popular with such shows on television.Good job of capturing my intrigue.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Wow! Excellent. I could see this scene in my mind's eye. "Consumed poultry" is an example of excellent descriptive phrases utilized in this piece. I am familiar with morgues having seen autopsies, but I am not sure the genral public would know abbreviations like TOD for time of death. There is punctuation missing after "Bloomquist desisted "but". In the 10th paragraph: "it through" is correct rather than "through it". "Because of (hers or his ) "Catholic background"? The pronoun is missing.
Very intense and I am sure it would be popular with such shows on television.Good job of capturing my intrigue.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much, Virginia. I really appreciate the insight and I will add TOD to my definitions. Funny story, I meant to put this in save and do a little more editing and ended up pushing the wrong button. I hate when that happens. Thank you for your great advice and very generous review. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Curtis Hatch
Bev,
You did an outstanding job with the descriptive information and the dialogue at the crime scene. You brought this reader along so well I could almost smell the putrid scent of decay. The characters come across a personable and professional as they go about clearing the crime scene. The mystery deepens with the note and the attire of Fritz Buell. It is a tension-filled chapter, and it held me spellbound.
Curtis
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Bev,
You did an outstanding job with the descriptive information and the dialogue at the crime scene. You brought this reader along so well I could almost smell the putrid scent of decay. The characters come across a personable and professional as they go about clearing the crime scene. The mystery deepens with the note and the attire of Fritz Buell. It is a tension-filled chapter, and it held me spellbound.
Curtis
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Curtis, what a wonderful review and much appreciated stars. I am honored you took time to read my chapter. Your support means a lot as you are one of the writers I admire on this site. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Joy Graham
Pretty gruesome that the killer cut the guys eyes out. Looking forward to finding out who is doing all this killing.
You made me wish I had a lake to go to and just enjoy walking by it. I love the romantic conflict you are presenting here with Rick very attracted to his partner, Jana.
My book is finally available on amazon.com I went through createspace.com to self publish. It's been a crazy whirlwind and I can't stop looking at the advertisement with my airplane cover picture and my name as the author. I'm excited beyond belief :)
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Pretty gruesome that the killer cut the guys eyes out. Looking forward to finding out who is doing all this killing.
You made me wish I had a lake to go to and just enjoy walking by it. I love the romantic conflict you are presenting here with Rick very attracted to his partner, Jana.
My book is finally available on amazon.com I went through createspace.com to self publish. It's been a crazy whirlwind and I can't stop looking at the advertisement with my airplane cover picture and my name as the author. I'm excited beyond belief :)
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Joy, what wonderful news. What's the title so I can get it from Amazon?
Thanks for the great review. Your continued support means so much!
Hugs, Bev
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Honey, We Bought an Airplane by Doreen Joy Graham.
You can follow the link on my profile page.
Comment from AprilShower
After reading this, I have the feeling that they will soon be solving this case. After reading this, I can see why the docile private investigator almost threw up. Where did Jana get the exotic smell of incense which permeated her clothes? I am wondering if I've forgotten this part.
Well done, Bev.
April
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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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After reading this, I have the feeling that they will soon be solving this case. After reading this, I can see why the docile private investigator almost threw up. Where did Jana get the exotic smell of incense which permeated her clothes? I am wondering if I've forgotten this part.
Well done, Bev.
April
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Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks so much, April. I'm beginning to bring all the parts together. I sure appreciate you hanging in with story. Regarding the incense, her Uncle Tony burns sage regularly in the house they share. Thanks again for the gracious and generous review, my friend. Hugs, Bev
Comment from barbara.wilkey
This is a good addition to your previous posts. I like Jana, she's one tough lady.
A familiar voice interrupted. "Let me have a look, Jana."
(comma after interrupted, I like the dialogue before the speech tag when you use interrupted because it's interrupted.)
Popping upright, he announced. "It's from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. (comma after announced)
"Get off me." he screamed. (comma after me)
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reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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This is a good addition to your previous posts. I like Jana, she's one tough lady.
A familiar voice interrupted. "Let me have a look, Jana."
(comma after interrupted, I like the dialogue before the speech tag when you use interrupted because it's interrupted.)
Popping upright, he announced. "It's from Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. (comma after announced)
"Get off me." he screamed. (comma after me)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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Thanks Barbara. I appreciate you catching the punctuation nits. I'll change them. Your support is very much appreciate!
Bev
Comment from barkingdog
And you said you weren't posting today. LOL I had a feeling it was time for another episode.
This was a fine addition. What a gruesome ME. Jana dealt with him well. The note was interesting. Again something points to the religious undertones. People not seeing their own faults/guilt. Also, Buell is wearing a priest's hassock and has communion wafers on his eyes.(really creepy)
Now, to see what Tony has to add to this.
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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And you said you weren't posting today. LOL I had a feeling it was time for another episode.
This was a fine addition. What a gruesome ME. Jana dealt with him well. The note was interesting. Again something points to the religious undertones. People not seeing their own faults/guilt. Also, Buell is wearing a priest's hassock and has communion wafers on his eyes.(really creepy)
Now, to see what Tony has to add to this.
Comment Written 07-Apr-2013
reply by the author on 07-Apr-2013
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I've sent you a PM explaining the situation with this post. So, thanks again for reviewing with such kind words of support and for your generosity, Ellen. Means a lot coming from you. Hugs, Bev
