Reviews from

He Could have Called

Easter free verse, please read notes!

17 total reviews 
Comment from Doc Holiday
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Jesus knew what He had to do and did it well. He did it for us! Sure he could have called the angels or His Father to lift His cup. But He didn't1 Your poem gives us the story behind the reasons we celebrate and pay respect to Good Friday.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
    Thank you very much!
Comment from Bobbi22
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent poem that reminds us that as the Son of God, Jesus could have called upon His Father to release Him from His pain. But He endured the suffering for all of us until His last breath. Very well written.

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
    Thank you!!
Comment from J.R Dickinson
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

You've written this with such beautiful splendor to honor Jesus. You should be proud of this; I didn't see any mistakes, so keep up the good work.
-J.R

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
    Thank you, that means a lot!
Comment from harmony13
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent Poem! The poem flowed well. The author wrote a detailed account of the scene. I really liked the last line. One suggestion I have is either change the background color or the color of the font. I think this poem would stand out more. Thank you, harmony13

 Comment Written 01-Apr-2013


reply by the author on 01-Apr-2013
    Thank you for the review and the suggestion!
Comment from Dave Russell
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

That was always one of my favorite hymns as well...so telling of a sacrifice freely and completely given. I like the flow, no changes that I can see, though, it may be interesting to see it single spaced

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2013
    Thank you for the review and the suggestion!
Comment from Harlequin
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

A well written poem of a wonderful story. As a practicing CHristian, I;ve found it tasteful, touching and easy to connect with. Thanks for sharing. :)

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2013
    Thank you!!
Comment from 9999pool
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

As requested, I will try my best to make it read better:

"He could have called"

He could have called
To ten thousand angels
Before his death fall
But He stayed despite the danger

Shedding His holy blood for you and me
So that our sins can be forgiven
For the whole world to see
And feel eternal bliss in heaven

He stayed on and spoke to His father
"Forgive those who are here gathered
I can lead them no further
Let my death make the world better"

He could have called
To ten thousand angels awaiting
But he chose to fall
His love divine and everlasting

In resurrection he arose as foreseen
Ten thousand angel waiting beside Him
He prayed for our Satanic sins
A hope for mankind on a miracle beam

(end of poem... abab..rhyming)

Hope this poem is what you want to say.
Cheerio, Ritchie.


 Comment Written 31-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2013
    I appreciate your time and effort but this would no longer be my poem.
reply by 9999pool on 31-Mar-2013
    Consider my poem as a gift to help you relate to the hymn together with yours. Smiles.
    Cheerio, Rithcie.
reply by the author on 31-Mar-2013
    Agreed!! :)
Comment from steevie
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I didn't see anything wrong with your poem, except that Jesus actually died upon a torture stake and not a cross, which the vast majority of Christians believe.

well done

steve

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2013
    Thank you for the review!
reply by steevie on 31-Mar-2013
    you're welcome, sweetie


    smiles
    steve
Comment from Righteous Riter
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

The message here is heart touching because Jesus could have escaped the cross but this would have left us all doomed. He was sorrowful in the spirit but in the end He said, "not my but your will be done." I am grateful for this act of love.

 Comment Written 31-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 31-Mar-2013
    I am too!
Comment from words
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

My first comment is you should capitalize all of the pronouns He/Him as they refer to God.
Second, I would not double space this ... double spacing interrupts the flow making one come to a complete stop at the end of each line.

The repeating lines work well and the message is clear.

Well done.

Hugs, d

 Comment Written 30-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 30-Mar-2013
    Thank you for the review and the suggestions! I have capitalized all the He's and Him's. I understand what you are saying about the double spacing, it's just seems too crowded to my eyes single spaced.