Reviews from

Steve's Story-Poems

Viewing comments for Chapter 29 "Apprenticeship"
A collection of my poems

23 total reviews 
Comment from tedanytime
Excellent
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Masterful story in the poem! The rhymes flowed well from start right to the end.
The mechanics did what most workers do when a new one starts a job. The jokes and ribbing goes on and on, sometimes to excess. But, as in this case when the chips are down, if harm comes to one, the others will surely aid.

Great story. Best wishes!

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 Comment Written 29-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
    Thanks, Ted - for once I wanted to write something that felt real.

    Steve
Comment from djsaxon
Excellent
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Wow, wow, wow! This rocks. Solid rhyme and metre throughout, great character development, and an (almost) unexpected twist. Loved every word. Cheers - DJ

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 Comment Written 28-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
    Thank you, DJ
    Yeah, bad guy saves nice guy - I did think about having it the other way around which could have been good too....

    Steve
reply by djsaxon on 29-Mar-2013
    nah - this way is better :D
Comment from Eigle Rull
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

This is one of the best poems I've ever read. It has NO mistakes at all that I could find. It grabbed my interest right off the bat, and held it to the end. It was worded perfectly, and flowed as it should. And, it surprised me with an ending I didn't even see coming. This was soooo good my friend. Thank you for the opportunity to read this poem.

Always with respect,

 Comment Written 28-Mar-2013


reply by the author on 29-Mar-2013
    Thank you and welcome to fanStory.
    High praise indeed, but these contests draw out the best so you'll see some more good ones when the results are announced.

    Steve