Surgical Words
Sometimes, words cut deeper than blades....113 total reviews
Comment from SaluteDobby
Well said, Dean. Kids now-a-days need to learn to treat others with respect. A single barbed word can easily shatter one's self-esteem. Social bullies are the worst kind.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Well said, Dean. Kids now-a-days need to learn to treat others with respect. A single barbed word can easily shatter one's self-esteem. Social bullies are the worst kind.
Comment Written 06-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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You sure have got that right, Salute Dobby! Thanks very much for your kind and thoughtful review...
Comment from danddanthnyt
I really enjoyed your using true, honest wording to describe how 'words' can really have an adverse effect on person's emotions: "surgical precision like." You italicized 'precision like' which has the meaning that when a bully wants to attack a person they really want to be effective in hurting that person's emotional and mental state of mind. The bully always wishes to get his (wrong) way no matter the consequences in how the other person feels or is affected by their vicious, cruel words..
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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I really enjoyed your using true, honest wording to describe how 'words' can really have an adverse effect on person's emotions: "surgical precision like." You italicized 'precision like' which has the meaning that when a bully wants to attack a person they really want to be effective in hurting that person's emotional and mental state of mind. The bully always wishes to get his (wrong) way no matter the consequences in how the other person feels or is affected by their vicious, cruel words..
Comment Written 06-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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You have nailed my meaning down with the precision of a surgeon yourself, my friend! I do appreciate your insights into this, as well as for your enthusiastic review!
Comment from Janet Foor
My grandson has been bullied and it is heartbreaking. It takes time to heal these wounds as they do cut deep.
Excellent 5/7/5 poem with a haunting sound.
Hope your little girl is doing ok.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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My grandson has been bullied and it is heartbreaking. It takes time to heal these wounds as they do cut deep.
Excellent 5/7/5 poem with a haunting sound.
Hope your little girl is doing ok.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 06-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much, Janet, I appreciate that. She's handling it pretty well, and says she's learned a very valuable lesson. Be care who you confide in, and choose your friends very wisely. I could not have said it better myself...
Thanks so much, again!
Comment from olshaski
I like this but perhaps .....
"with surgical precision"
it still fits the poems 575
but seems more exacting in it's translation.
just my opinion.
and I agree with the hurt your relating, my son deals with some of these things and it's hard growing up but with parents to help sometimes learning the hard lessons makes us stronger.(no i'm not justifying how cruel kids can be, simply that we fall down learning how to walk)
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2013
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I like this but perhaps .....
"with surgical precision"
it still fits the poems 575
but seems more exacting in it's translation.
just my opinion.
and I agree with the hurt your relating, my son deals with some of these things and it's hard growing up but with parents to help sometimes learning the hard lessons makes us stronger.(no i'm not justifying how cruel kids can be, simply that we fall down learning how to walk)
Comment Written 06-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2013
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Thank you very much for your insightful review and suggestions, olshaski. I do believe I like your middle stanza much better, makes more of an impact and gets across with more finality the message I am trying to convey here.
Thank you so much for your thoughts...
Comment from marre5
Creepy pairing of picture, poem & that awful sound! Good message about bullying. My prejudice is toward longer poems with more complicated message/story. Consider expanding
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2013
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Creepy pairing of picture, poem & that awful sound! Good message about bullying. My prejudice is toward longer poems with more complicated message/story. Consider expanding
Comment Written 06-Jul-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2013
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Thanks for checking it out, marre5. it was written for a 5-7-5 contest, however, and the format must be strictly adhered to. Your concerns and opinions about 'longer, more complicated poetry' is duly noted...
Comment from Darkhorse555
with this piece it cuts deeper than blood dripping remains after surgery the wound is thought provking get you thinking all sorts
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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with this piece it cuts deeper than blood dripping remains after surgery the wound is thought provking get you thinking all sorts
Comment Written 05-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Thanks a bunch, Darkhorse555. I really appreciate you taking the time to read and review this. My daughter does, too!
Comment from Preston McWhorter
Hi, Dean,
This is an excellent 5/7/5 poem that meets all of the line syllable requirements and the relationship between the lines is apparent. It addresses a true social evil of Cyber- Bullying. I am sorry your little girl had to undergo such an experience. I hope that there are no lasting emotional scars.
Preston
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Hi, Dean,
This is an excellent 5/7/5 poem that meets all of the line syllable requirements and the relationship between the lines is apparent. It addresses a true social evil of Cyber- Bullying. I am sorry your little girl had to undergo such an experience. I hope that there are no lasting emotional scars.
Preston
Comment Written 05-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Thanks so much for your caring words and insightful review Preston. She's still emotionally banged up over it, but with encouragement and knowing that others care, such as yourself, I expect her to recover just fine.
Thanks again. I sincerely appreciate it...
Comment from Rmocruz
You have presented a valid message in a dark and entertaining manner. I have heard a number of sad stories presented on
the news of bullying.
Love the visual.
Well Crafted.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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You have presented a valid message in a dark and entertaining manner. I have heard a number of sad stories presented on
the news of bullying.
Love the visual.
Well Crafted.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Thank you Rmocruz, from myself and my daughter. We appreciate it!
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You're welcome Dean, my pleasure.
Comment from persevere
Wow, this is powerful stuff. You have clearly made the point that bullying is not only conducted in a physical environment.
I am grateful that our children didn't have cyber space in which they could be bullied.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Wow, this is powerful stuff. You have clearly made the point that bullying is not only conducted in a physical environment.
I am grateful that our children didn't have cyber space in which they could be bullied.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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As am I, perservere. Thanks for reviewing this, I sincerely appreciate it!
Comment from RYME4U
Very effective presentation. This is done with excellence and sensibility. Very good message that mor people should listen to. Great job!
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Very effective presentation. This is done with excellence and sensibility. Very good message that mor people should listen to. Great job!
Comment Written 05-Jun-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2013
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Thank you RYME4U. I sincerely appreciate the kind words and review. My daughter will too :)
