Savannah Love
Viewing comments for Chapter 37 "Chapter 9, part 2"Can a fallen confederate soldier encourage love?
59 total reviews
Comment from Curly Girly
Another good chapter to the story. It was easy to read and follow. I enjoyed reading this mysterious story and the tension is mounting with possiblities. CG
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
Another good chapter to the story. It was easy to read and follow. I enjoyed reading this mysterious story and the tension is mounting with possiblities. CG
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review.
Comment from Righteous Riter
The writer keeps the pace nice and steady to the end. There is a secret staircase in the house which heightens the suspense of the reader. A the reader approaches the end the suspense is raised even more because someone is in the house.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
The writer keeps the pace nice and steady to the end. There is a secret staircase in the house which heightens the suspense of the reader. A the reader approaches the end the suspense is raised even more because someone is in the house.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and your support.
Comment from cheyennewy
Hi Barbara,
This is n exciting chapter and I am all a dither wondering who is in the house with Paige and Mary Pat. It's not Billy Jo or Cash so it must be the one who wants Paige gone. I wonder if Paige is getting too close to the truth about the house? It obviously holds some secrets that some don't want told. Can't wait to see what happens next....blessings, Chewy
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
Hi Barbara,
This is n exciting chapter and I am all a dither wondering who is in the house with Paige and Mary Pat. It's not Billy Jo or Cash so it must be the one who wants Paige gone. I wonder if Paige is getting too close to the truth about the house? It obviously holds some secrets that some don't want told. Can't wait to see what happens next....blessings, Chewy
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and your support.
Comment from N.K. Wagner
The tension is building, Barbara. I wonder if the guys will find any trace of a trespasser. I suspect not. Well done. :) nancy
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
The tension is building, Barbara. I wonder if the guys will find any trace of a trespasser. I suspect not. Well done. :) nancy
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and your support.
Comment from JM daSilva
The scene was easy to follow again, and the dialogue was clear.
I love the idea of a house with secret passages. Tradition or backwardness? People hanging on to old ways. This is good for a story because you don't know that old ways sometimes mean.
For some reason his car started on fire. ( I don't understand this., "caught fire"?)
One suggestion:
Paige stopped and thought a moment before she pointed.
Paige stopped and thought a moment before pointing. (it it's one way to avoid pronoun repetition)
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
The scene was easy to follow again, and the dialogue was clear.
I love the idea of a house with secret passages. Tradition or backwardness? People hanging on to old ways. This is good for a story because you don't know that old ways sometimes mean.
For some reason his car started on fire. ( I don't understand this., "caught fire"?)
One suggestion:
Paige stopped and thought a moment before she pointed.
Paige stopped and thought a moment before pointing. (it it's one way to avoid pronoun repetition)
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
Thank you for your eagle eye. I appreciate the help.
-
You're welcome. It was a pleasure.
Comment from jaeladarling
I have to say the same as the last chapter. Too many simple sentences, not enough insight. Character development is practically nil. Give your characters some depth. The plot in and of itself is okay, but good insight and character development will change it from "okay" to awesome. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
I have to say the same as the last chapter. Too many simple sentences, not enough insight. Character development is practically nil. Give your characters some depth. The plot in and of itself is okay, but good insight and character development will change it from "okay" to awesome. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
I just received my previous novel from my editor. Guess what? She changed many of my compound sentences to simples sentences. Go figure. This post gave a lot of insight to who Cash is.
-
That's weird. Usually when I find books with a lot of simple sentences, they're for very young audiences. I'm an old hat with writing and editing, and I find it odd that an editor would do such a thing. I guess maybe there's an audience for it. It is your writing in the end, so my thoughts are just that - my thoughts. ;)
-
I have been editing my previous book while on spring break and she did divide many of my sentences up and made them into two short sentences. In the books I have it says to vary the length of the sentences.
Comment from Tonulak
Dear Barbara,
Nice reveal of the staircase. This casts some doubt, at least in my mind, that the ghost, could be someone trying to get Paige out of the house...Good dialogue and setting--Ted
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
Dear Barbara,
Nice reveal of the staircase. This casts some doubt, at least in my mind, that the ghost, could be someone trying to get Paige out of the house...Good dialogue and setting--Ted
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and your support.
Comment from bookishfabler
Boy oh Boy, I'm still here. I've checked in everyday and I am loving it. Great chapter I love the little cliff-hanger at the end. I am the quessn of cliff hangers, or at least used to be. Great job, as usual I didn't notice any spags or nits. You must think I can't spot them at all, but I really do with other writers. Your's is always so neat.
hugs
Heidi
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
Boy oh Boy, I'm still here. I've checked in everyday and I am loving it. Great chapter I love the little cliff-hanger at the end. I am the quessn of cliff hangers, or at least used to be. Great job, as usual I didn't notice any spags or nits. You must think I can't spot them at all, but I really do with other writers. Your's is always so neat.
hugs
Heidi
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and your support. You have spoted many of my errors previously. LOL
Comment from Mrs Jones
Now you have left the reader hanging. Good ending. Another enjoyable read, well edted. I was just getting into it. Could have been much longer for me.
Cheers
Rose
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
Now you have left the reader hanging. Good ending. Another enjoyable read, well edted. I was just getting into it. Could have been much longer for me.
Cheers
Rose
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and your support.
Comment from unimatrix001
Excellent tension building chapter. Can't tell how much is their imaginations, how much is nefarious people, and how much is genuine ghosts. Well done.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
Excellent tension building chapter. Can't tell how much is their imaginations, how much is nefarious people, and how much is genuine ghosts. Well done.
Comment Written 15-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
-
Thank you for the kind review and your support.