Rivulets of Rain
5/7/5 poem124 total reviews
Comment from Bellringer
Brooke, your poem is an excellent example of the 5/7/5 poem. I also like your use of alliteration. "Cleft" is well used (also has the word "left" in it). Your final line reminds me that both the good times and the bad times are indeed temporary. Best wishes, Hector
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Brooke, your poem is an excellent example of the 5/7/5 poem. I also like your use of alliteration. "Cleft" is well used (also has the word "left" in it). Your final line reminds me that both the good times and the bad times are indeed temporary. Best wishes, Hector
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 09-Mar-2013
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Hector, thank you so much :-) Brooke
Comment from Curly Girly
You chose a truly delightful image to go with your brief but truthful verse. The green leaves represent water, life, growth and nourishment. CG
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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You chose a truly delightful image to go with your brief but truthful verse. The green leaves represent water, life, growth and nourishment. CG
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Thank you, Curly Girly, for your thoughtful response to this poem :-) Brooke
Comment from Margaret Snowdon
rivulets of rain
fill each crevice cleft by drought --
hunger put on pause
such a cleverly thoughtout little poem, Brooke
and the picture so perfect.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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rivulets of rain
fill each crevice cleft by drought --
hunger put on pause
such a cleverly thoughtout little poem, Brooke
and the picture so perfect.
Good luck with the contest, my friend.
Margaret
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Thank you, Margaret, my friend :-) Brooke
Comment from Galactia
rivulets of rain
fill each crevice cleft by drought --
hunger put on pause
great job and GL
I see punctuation Winks :)
Iremoved all my punctuation as most people say on fan story that there should be no punctuation in Haiku. Tell that to Matsuo Basho :) I knowyours is a 5'7'5 becauseof the personification in line 3.
I'm dizzyon Haiku today lol
Regards
Tia
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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rivulets of rain
fill each crevice cleft by drought --
hunger put on pause
great job and GL
I see punctuation Winks :)
Iremoved all my punctuation as most people say on fan story that there should be no punctuation in Haiku. Tell that to Matsuo Basho :) I knowyours is a 5'7'5 becauseof the personification in line 3.
I'm dizzyon Haiku today lol
Regards
Tia
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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that is why I like 5/7/5 contests - all those darned haiku rules become irrelevant :-) Thanks so much, Tia. Brooke
Comment from Jaq Cee
Lovely alliteration and word usage. So very descriptive, no picture was necessary, but compliments your words all the same. Good luck in for contest. :) Jaq x
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Lovely alliteration and word usage. So very descriptive, no picture was necessary, but compliments your words all the same. Good luck in for contest. :) Jaq x
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Jaq, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
Comment from IndianaIrish
Fantastic imagery with your 5-7-5 poem, Brooke. Beautiful alliteration and I really like that you used hunger instead of thirst. Best wishes to you in he contest.
Smiles,
Karyn : )
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Fantastic imagery with your 5-7-5 poem, Brooke. Beautiful alliteration and I really like that you used hunger instead of thirst. Best wishes to you in he contest.
Smiles,
Karyn : )
Comment Written 25-Feb-2013
Comment from Giddy Nielsen-Sweep
These beautiful alliterative lines are so true, Brooke. I felt as if I was watching the rain trickling down the little branches, especially as it is raining here at present. Giddy
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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These beautiful alliterative lines are so true, Brooke. I felt as if I was watching the rain trickling down the little branches, especially as it is raining here at present. Giddy
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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Giddy, thank you so very much for your gracious response to this poem and for your wonderfully generous exceptional rating :-) Brooke
Comment from Adri7enne
From the small to the large conclusion. Interesting concept, Brooke. Good alliterations in "rivulets of rain" and again in 'crevice cleft". Beautiful artwork to complete the thought. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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From the small to the large conclusion. Interesting concept, Brooke. Good alliterations in "rivulets of rain" and again in 'crevice cleft". Beautiful artwork to complete the thought. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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Thanks so much, Adrienne :-) Brooke
Comment from Sam Manilla
I liked this haiku. I think it described a sad and thirsty plant well. The rain is good for a plant that hasn't had it in a long time. Well, hopefully it rains more for that poor plant.
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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I liked this haiku. I think it described a sad and thirsty plant well. The rain is good for a plant that hasn't had it in a long time. Well, hopefully it rains more for that poor plant.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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Sam, thank you so very much for your thoughtful review :-) Brooke
Comment from J. Dark
Fabulous 5 7 5. Fine alliteration in rivulets of rain and crevice cleft. The thoughtfulness of the last line and unexpected word choices throughout truly make this piece. Best wishes for the competition.
Kindest of regards
Julie :-)
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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Fabulous 5 7 5. Fine alliteration in rivulets of rain and crevice cleft. The thoughtfulness of the last line and unexpected word choices throughout truly make this piece. Best wishes for the competition.
Kindest of regards
Julie :-)
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 24-Feb-2013
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Julie, thank you so very much :-) Brooke
