The Curse of 'Gator Bayou
Viewing comments for Chapter 4 "Life in Houma"A young Cajun girl struggles to survive.
7 total reviews
Comment from Gladness
I am catching up on my reading. This is very good. You paint Evangeline's personality very well from the very start. I was just a bit confused at that last paragraph. I thought it was Renee at first because it was a new paragraph, but realized later that it was still Evangeline. No need to put it in a new paragraph when it is the same person talking.
You include much information for the reader without being tedious. You keep the story moving and interesting. Good work :)
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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I am catching up on my reading. This is very good. You paint Evangeline's personality very well from the very start. I was just a bit confused at that last paragraph. I thought it was Renee at first because it was a new paragraph, but realized later that it was still Evangeline. No need to put it in a new paragraph when it is the same person talking.
You include much information for the reader without being tedious. You keep the story moving and interesting. Good work :)
Comment Written 03-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 04-Mar-2013
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Thank you Anita, for reading my story. I am so glad you are enjoying it. I will go back and fix the paragraph.
Comment from Leen1
What a character! Evangeline is the type is the character you just love to hate. She is so high up on her horse that if she fell she would splatter into a million and one little pieces. This is the type of storyline that captures a readers attention and gives the reader the eagerness to want to learn more. Very well written, wonderfully enjoyed.
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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What a character! Evangeline is the type is the character you just love to hate. She is so high up on her horse that if she fell she would splatter into a million and one little pieces. This is the type of storyline that captures a readers attention and gives the reader the eagerness to want to learn more. Very well written, wonderfully enjoyed.
Comment Written 24-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 25-Feb-2013
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I'm so glad you're reading my work and enjoying it. Yes, Evangeline is a little snit. Poor Renee is such a sweet man,too. My hubby has started calling me Evie. LOL
Comment from Val Crisson
Let me start with a couple of obeservations. First, the second paragraph. I that the way you want your spacing, and there are a few others that are spaced that way. If you are trying to set quotes apart, you may think of a space between the main character and the quote. Secondly, you use a great deal of "..." Some are good, but too many are not. Okay, to the good part. The story has great pace and character developmnet, and I think in this chapter your descriptions were wonderful. You use enough dialogue to make the story very real.
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
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Let me start with a couple of obeservations. First, the second paragraph. I that the way you want your spacing, and there are a few others that are spaced that way. If you are trying to set quotes apart, you may think of a space between the main character and the quote. Secondly, you use a great deal of "..." Some are good, but too many are not. Okay, to the good part. The story has great pace and character developmnet, and I think in this chapter your descriptions were wonderful. You use enough dialogue to make the story very real.
Comment Written 22-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
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Thanks Val for your great suggestions. Yes, you are definitely right. It seems I got on a roll with the ...'s. :o) I'll go back and make some changes. I'm glad you liked the story even with all its flubs. :o)
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Gee, Jo I just re read my advice! I'm impressed you could make heads or tails out of it. Yet some how you did. Hugs
Comment from mshugh
Great story
she has a lot of Gaul... - change gaul to gall
I had Daddy march right downtown [midtwon - the finer stores are midtown - a New Yorker might pick up on this]
Well done
Michael
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
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Great story
she has a lot of Gaul... - change gaul to gall
I had Daddy march right downtown [midtwon - the finer stores are midtown - a New Yorker might pick up on this]
Well done
Michael
Comment Written 21-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 22-Feb-2013
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Thank you so much Michael for catching my goofs and especially the midtown New York information. I want my story to be as realistic as possible. Can you tell I'm NOT from New York. :o)
I appreciate your kind review. I'll go right now and make corrections.
Comment from BethShelby
It sounds like Renee might have married the wrong woman for his needs. Evangeline is more interested in mixing with society and being considered fashionable and beautiful than she is in being a wife and mother. You are developing these characters nicely. The personalities are interesting.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2013
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It sounds like Renee might have married the wrong woman for his needs. Evangeline is more interested in mixing with society and being considered fashionable and beautiful than she is in being a wife and mother. You are developing these characters nicely. The personalities are interesting.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2013
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Thanks Beth for your encouragement. Yes, I think you have Evangeline pegged to a tee. Renee deserves much better.
Comment from Misrael
Oh honestly how vain and self centered can a person be! Talk about acting like a spoiled brat. That woman takes the cake. Also it sounds like she is acting and putting on a show of how great she is. Good read and keep on writing.
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2013
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Oh honestly how vain and self centered can a person be! Talk about acting like a spoiled brat. That woman takes the cake. Also it sounds like she is acting and putting on a show of how great she is. Good read and keep on writing.
Comment Written 21-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2013
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Thanks Misrael for reviewing my story. I'm glad you are enjoying it. Yes, Evangeline is a spoiled brat. Renee deserves much better. He is a really nice guy.
Comment from kashmayank
I have not read all the chapters so wont comment much but this looks a nicce work to follow the structure was good length was perfect all the best
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2013
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I have not read all the chapters so wont comment much but this looks a nicce work to follow the structure was good length was perfect all the best
Comment Written 21-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 21-Feb-2013
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Thank you kashmayank for reviewing my story. I hope you will go back and catch up. I'm glad you liked my work.
