The Confession
Parts of Mr. Terrebonne have been found in the bayou-22 total reviews
Comment from Walu Feral
G'day Jo. Well, aren't you the clever one! Beautifully written and a very deserving contest winner. I like the "Bayou" stories very much. Sounds like it must be quite a life you guys have out there. I watched that show...ummm....a series, on TV....Darn, I forget the name now. It was based on the gator hunters of the bayou and it looks like a tough gig.
Well done and congrats.
Cheers Fez
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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G'day Jo. Well, aren't you the clever one! Beautifully written and a very deserving contest winner. I like the "Bayou" stories very much. Sounds like it must be quite a life you guys have out there. I watched that show...ummm....a series, on TV....Darn, I forget the name now. It was based on the gator hunters of the bayou and it looks like a tough gig.
Well done and congrats.
Cheers Fez
Comment Written 27-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2016
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I watch "Swamp People", too. I live in Texas. My son lives in Louisiana and actually knows some of the
people on that show. They really do live the way the show portrays. I love the people and their lifestyles. My
Texas- born son does, too. :O)
Jo
Comment from foxangie123
First congratulations on the win at the time of contest. Second you have a great gift of telling entertaining stories you do. This is great. More please.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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First congratulations on the win at the time of contest. Second you have a great gift of telling entertaining stories you do. This is great. More please.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you, for reviewing my story. I have done so many revisions on this book and now want to finally get it out there. Some has been posted on this site several years ago but I have now finished it. I'm not sure how to get it back on here since I have posted some before.
Comment from nancy_e_davis
This story definitely deserved the first
place ribbon it received. I loved the happy
ending although I did wonder how the poor
woman was going to provide for her many children.
Sad conditions in a poverty stricken area of the US. Well done. Jo. Nancy
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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This story definitely deserved the first
place ribbon it received. I loved the happy
ending although I did wonder how the poor
woman was going to provide for her many children.
Sad conditions in a poverty stricken area of the US. Well done. Jo. Nancy
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you, Nancy, for your comments. I have posted some of this book several years ago and parts for contest etc. Now, I'm wishing to post the entire book but not quite sure how to do that. Most all the original chapters have been greatly revised.
Comment from GoodHearted Woman
You are a born writer. That was so interesting with a real unexpected ending. They say "write what you know"--how do you know so much about these people living in those conditions? Absolutely professional.
Are you looking at "how to publish?" You have to get this "out there" where lots of people can read your work. Wow. I'm blown away.
Good Hearted Woman
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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You are a born writer. That was so interesting with a real unexpected ending. They say "write what you know"--how do you know so much about these people living in those conditions? Absolutely professional.
Are you looking at "how to publish?" You have to get this "out there" where lots of people can read your work. Wow. I'm blown away.
Good Hearted Woman
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you, GoodHearted Woman, so much for your encouragement. I have finished the book and now am working on
some revisions. I have posted some of the chapters in the past on FS and for contests but there have been many
changes since the first attempts were posted. Now, I would like to post the entire book on here but not sure how to do it with all the changes. Do I just begin from the first and disengage the other chapters? Guess, I need to ask the people that run the site.
Comment from aryr
This was a great chapter or beginning to a story. You provided detailed descriptions of the characters, of the scenery and of the events. You presented the language in an absolutely correct way of the bayou people. You left it with just enough of an open end to lead into the next chapter. Again a great chapter, good writing, great reading, thank you.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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This was a great chapter or beginning to a story. You provided detailed descriptions of the characters, of the scenery and of the events. You presented the language in an absolutely correct way of the bayou people. You left it with just enough of an open end to lead into the next chapter. Again a great chapter, good writing, great reading, thank you.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2016
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2016
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Thank you,aryr, for your kind input to my story. I hope you will continue to read.
Jo
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you are very welcome.
Comment from 9999pool
Hi JO,
This is one of the few stories i am review. After reading this first page, there was anticipation for Sarah.
What was the news all about? It had to be poignant. Maybe her husband was caught up in the line of fire in some silly war and had died.
After I read up to the end of the story, I had completely forgotten that this was a 'Contest Winner' entry.
I pause and ask - did the story captivated me? Was the descriptive part of the story up to expectation? Did the characters mentioned 'jump out' of this first page? Was there intrigue, a plot or sub plot?
My hand click a sixer as an auto reflex - because I wanted to read the second page but there was not to be found! Nope, not even a link to the following chapter.
Well Jo, I felt short changed and you bet I am disappointed, LOL.
This is excellent and I won't be surprised that you will be a 'Best Writer' soon. The story here had a soul, a vision of a life that most of us have not seen before - swamp life! No schooling, devoid of people, how do they live? So many siblings, what do they eat? Questions and more questions. Well, this first page had me inquisitive and curious but it is just a first page contest - what had I expected?
Just wish you will continue where you left off and I will try to read and review all the other chapters too - just keep it short and sweet in a handy small novel. LOL.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
P.S. Sorry for the long review. The sixers' review I give is usually long to ensure I did not put in any bias into this sixer rating, LOL.
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
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Hi JO,
This is one of the few stories i am review. After reading this first page, there was anticipation for Sarah.
What was the news all about? It had to be poignant. Maybe her husband was caught up in the line of fire in some silly war and had died.
After I read up to the end of the story, I had completely forgotten that this was a 'Contest Winner' entry.
I pause and ask - did the story captivated me? Was the descriptive part of the story up to expectation? Did the characters mentioned 'jump out' of this first page? Was there intrigue, a plot or sub plot?
My hand click a sixer as an auto reflex - because I wanted to read the second page but there was not to be found! Nope, not even a link to the following chapter.
Well Jo, I felt short changed and you bet I am disappointed, LOL.
This is excellent and I won't be surprised that you will be a 'Best Writer' soon. The story here had a soul, a vision of a life that most of us have not seen before - swamp life! No schooling, devoid of people, how do they live? So many siblings, what do they eat? Questions and more questions. Well, this first page had me inquisitive and curious but it is just a first page contest - what had I expected?
Just wish you will continue where you left off and I will try to read and review all the other chapters too - just keep it short and sweet in a handy small novel. LOL.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
P.S. Sorry for the long review. The sixers' review I give is usually long to ensure I did not put in any bias into this sixer rating, LOL.
Comment Written 11-Mar-2013
reply by the author on 15-Mar-2013
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Thank you for reading my first page of my book contest entry. Ritchie, I hope you will take up my first chapter and read the rest of my book. You can find all 17 chapters (so far) on my profile. Thanks for the kind review.
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Hi Jo,
I will try to review a story a day and i know it will be a good story. I will give you my thoughts to make it a best seller, maybe, LOL.
For a dear friend (whom I know when I first appear on this site and I heard of your son's death), I will review every chapter and give it a shot in the arm, so to speak.
I might be a bit slow to catch up, so please bear with me.
Thanks for letting me know of the chapters.
Have a great weekend and a blessed one too.
Cheerio, Ritchie.
Comment from Rondeno
You switch the point of view between Mary and Sheriff Rene. Most commentators say that this is to be avoided. Otherwise, it's a good opening to what promises to be an interesting story.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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You switch the point of view between Mary and Sheriff Rene. Most commentators say that this is to be avoided. Otherwise, it's a good opening to what promises to be an interesting story.
Comment Written 03-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Thank you Rondeno for your kind review and comments. I will definitely go back and rewrite (probably many times ;o) the story. I will pay more attention to my POV. Thanks for the reminder.
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I want to stress that I really enjoyed what I read.
Comment from EMB
I didn't know this was a story with black people until near the end. Funny how our assumptions can wreak havoc in a story. With the built suspense, I was expecting something a bit more horrific like a death or murdering. Still, this was engaging.
Nicely done.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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I didn't know this was a story with black people until near the end. Funny how our assumptions can wreak havoc in a story. With the built suspense, I was expecting something a bit more horrific like a death or murdering. Still, this was engaging.
Nicely done.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Thank you Edward for your kind review. Due to the limitations of the contest being only 500 words and the prompt "the first page of your novel" I'm afraid I didn't get too far into the storyline. In my description I did say "body parts had been found of Mr. Terrebonne." The story does cover quite a horrific tale of murder and brutality...just have to read the rest of the story (as Paul Harvey used to say). LOL I'm hoping to post it soon on fanstory. I hope you will read and give me some help since it will be my first novel.
Comment from amada
For sure I liked the first part of this story, you know how to carry the attention of the reader. In short paragrapsh, well defined characters. Congratulations in winning the prize.
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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For sure I liked the first part of this story, you know how to carry the attention of the reader. In short paragrapsh, well defined characters. Congratulations in winning the prize.
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 04-Feb-2013
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Thank you amada for your kind review. I was thrilled to have won the contest. Haven't won one in a while. This is the start of my first novel...so was pleased that it sparked interest. Hopefully, I'll get it posted on fanstory soon.
Comment from 4hisglory
The first page should get us curious about what happens next. You have done that in this story. I want to know what bad news the sheriff is bringing. Also, what are the beatings about. Very good start to your story!
Blessings in the contest and in writing the rest of the story. LaVonne
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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The first page should get us curious about what happens next. You have done that in this story. I want to know what bad news the sheriff is bringing. Also, what are the beatings about. Very good start to your story!
Blessings in the contest and in writing the rest of the story. LaVonne
Comment Written 01-Feb-2013
reply by the author on 01-Feb-2013
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Thank you LaVonne for your review and encouraging words. This will be my first attempt at a novel...so, will be needing lots of help. :o) I'm hoping to post it on fanstory once I get further along. I started chapter two yesterday.
