The Confession
Parts of Mr. Terrebonne have been found in the bayou-22 total reviews
Comment from gypsycaravan
What a great first page story. Told so well and yet so many different directions you can travel with it. I hope it will become a book if it isn't already. Nice work.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
  |
What a great first page story. Told so well and yet so many different directions you can travel with it. I hope it will become a book if it isn't already. Nice work.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
-
Thank you gypsycaravan. I am glad you liked my start up page for my first novel. Hopefully, I will be posting it on fanstory for more great help.
Comment from JennaG
This is really well done! Your story definitely intrigued me and made me want to read more. I think it's a great first page for a novel. I saw a couple small typos: "curtain less" I think should be "curtainless". And, I wondered about this sentence: "Sheriff was tall and lean with her dark hair tucked up under her cap she looked like a young boy". It seems like maybe you're missing the word "and" after "lean". Or, maybe "With her dark hair tucked up under her cap she looked like a young boy" should be its own sentence. Just a thought. I really enjoyed your work. Your skillful writing kept me interested and intrigued all the way through. Great job! Best of luck to you in the contest. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
|
This is really well done! Your story definitely intrigued me and made me want to read more. I think it's a great first page for a novel. I saw a couple small typos: "curtain less" I think should be "curtainless". And, I wondered about this sentence: "Sheriff was tall and lean with her dark hair tucked up under her cap she looked like a young boy". It seems like maybe you're missing the word "and" after "lean". Or, maybe "With her dark hair tucked up under her cap she looked like a young boy" should be its own sentence. Just a thought. I really enjoyed your work. Your skillful writing kept me interested and intrigued all the way through. Great job! Best of luck to you in the contest. :)
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 31-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
-
Thank you Jenna for catching my typo and you are right it does need the and. I'll go back and correct. I have already written the entire first chapter but saw this contest and thought I'd see if it had any appeal. I appreciate your review.
