A Twin Thing
Katrina misreads the Doctor's intentions.21 total reviews
Comment from kstoural1973
It's a cute little story and you hit the 100 words or less, but it really didn't have all the elements of a short story. I would classify this more as a joke. Perhaps that is what you intended?
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It's a cute little story and you hit the 100 words or less, but it really didn't have all the elements of a short story. I would classify this more as a joke. Perhaps that is what you intended?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
Comment from leftstorywriter
Neat little story. Glamor, sex, mindsets all in 99 words ... well done. The picture helps prime the reader with the appropriate party setting ... the clothes, the champagne glasses.
You might like to come up with an alternative description, something that doesn't give the punchline away as this one does "Katrina misreads the Doctor's intentions."
The last two sentences flow more naturally than the first two which sound a teensy bit "rehearsed".
Overall entertaining. Thanks.
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Neat little story. Glamor, sex, mindsets all in 99 words ... well done. The picture helps prime the reader with the appropriate party setting ... the clothes, the champagne glasses.
You might like to come up with an alternative description, something that doesn't give the punchline away as this one does "Katrina misreads the Doctor's intentions."
The last two sentences flow more naturally than the first two which sound a teensy bit "rehearsed".
Overall entertaining. Thanks.
Comment Written 29-Jan-2013
Comment from adewpearl
I love the humor of the ending as these self-involved women are both put in their place LOL
Good character development and a good story that made me laugh in under 100 words :-) Brooke
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I love the humor of the ending as these self-involved women are both put in their place LOL
Good character development and a good story that made me laugh in under 100 words :-) Brooke
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
Comment from MumEsGirl
Well done on this innovative interpretation of this contest prompt.
I love to see people writing outside of the box, and you have certainly succeeded with this worthy entry.
Best of luck
kate
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Well done on this innovative interpretation of this contest prompt.
I love to see people writing outside of the box, and you have certainly succeeded with this worthy entry.
Best of luck
kate
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
Comment from joann r romei
This was funny, and probably true, after a while who knows what a doctor has been exposed to to completely turn him off. Good luck in the contest
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This was funny, and probably true, after a while who knows what a doctor has been exposed to to completely turn him off. Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
Comment from Craigitar
Very well written. Wouldn't it be great if everyone was as taken with us as we are with ourselves? Humorous little tale with an unexpected finish. Good job and luck with the contest.
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Very well written. Wouldn't it be great if everyone was as taken with us as we are with ourselves? Humorous little tale with an unexpected finish. Good job and luck with the contest.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
Comment from Flamingbush
This is creative. Very clever. "He may want to give you more than a mammogram." "Who says he hasn't done more to me already?" "I was just wondering if your bladder infection had cleared up." Ha ha! That really does tell an entire story in just under one hundred words. Funny.
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This is creative. Very clever. "He may want to give you more than a mammogram." "Who says he hasn't done more to me already?" "I was just wondering if your bladder infection had cleared up." Ha ha! That really does tell an entire story in just under one hundred words. Funny.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
Comment from L. LLOYD
There is a quotation mark missing after "Let's go over and find out.(") I like how the story is told completely in conversation. It flows. It easy to follow. And I can definetely see the two women in the picture having this conversation. Overall, I like it. It's funny.
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There is a quotation mark missing after "Let's go over and find out.(") I like how the story is told completely in conversation. It flows. It easy to follow. And I can definetely see the two women in the picture having this conversation. Overall, I like it. It's funny.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
Comment from lakeport
The twin thing ineed like the saying sometimed goes, two is better than one. I don't blame the doctor, a lovely double talk story poem.I enjoyed reading it.God bless you. Lakeport.
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The twin thing ineed like the saying sometimed goes, two is better than one. I don't blame the doctor, a lovely double talk story poem.I enjoyed reading it.God bless you. Lakeport.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
Comment from kcross11
Ha ha, nice work! Flash fiction is tough, but you portrayed character and a story with a resolution. It was clean and I didn't see any errors. Good work.
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Ha ha, nice work! Flash fiction is tough, but you portrayed character and a story with a resolution. It was clean and I didn't see any errors. Good work.
Comment Written 28-Jan-2013
