Steve's Poems for Kids
Viewing comments for Chapter 12 "Our trolley"A collection of my children's poems
51 total reviews
Comment from Janice Canerdy
This exuberant, skillfully-written poem fulfills the prompt,
conveys a definite theme, and maintains a regular rhyme scheme--quite an accomplishment. Great job
Here is Mississippi, we say "whup" instead of "whump"! LOL
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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This exuberant, skillfully-written poem fulfills the prompt,
conveys a definite theme, and maintains a regular rhyme scheme--quite an accomplishment. Great job
Here is Mississippi, we say "whup" instead of "whump"! LOL
Comment Written 25-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thanks, Janice - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from Righteous Riter
It is all about the kids. This a beautiful piece. a piece that I wouldn't mind my kids reading. The rhyming was brilliant in this piece. The piece rhymed a lot and often in a way that kids can truly relate. The flow and the harmony is present. The photo is brought to life. good work.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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It is all about the kids. This a beautiful piece. a piece that I wouldn't mind my kids reading. The rhyming was brilliant in this piece. The piece rhymed a lot and often in a way that kids can truly relate. The flow and the harmony is present. The photo is brought to life. good work.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thank you - yes this one definitely needs to be read aloud.
Steve
Comment from GWHARGIS
It doesn't upset me. I could see the determination on the driver's face and feel every pothole and divot in the gravel. The lingo used was definitely dated and that helped set the oldshcool tone for this. Nice job.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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It doesn't upset me. I could see the determination on the driver's face and feel every pothole and divot in the gravel. The lingo used was definitely dated and that helped set the oldshcool tone for this. Nice job.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from elliejean
I love the picture. I love the poem. I think most boys love anything with wheels. The things they build are a race car in their eyes. The cart may be pieced together with spare parts. But it is the fastest thing around in the boy's eyes. Great work.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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I love the picture. I love the poem. I think most boys love anything with wheels. The things they build are a race car in their eyes. The cart may be pieced together with spare parts. But it is the fastest thing around in the boy's eyes. Great work.
Comment Written 25-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thank you.
Steve
Comment from KatieKennedy
Great poem full of descriptive action! Love the 'ding dong dangs' and the 'bonk bunk binks'. A refreshing read and some great artwork to go with it. Well done. Katie
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Great poem full of descriptive action! Love the 'ding dong dangs' and the 'bonk bunk binks'. A refreshing read and some great artwork to go with it. Well done. Katie
Comment Written 25-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thanks, Katie - glad you enjoyed.
Steve
Comment from adewpearl
excellent use of alternate-line rhyming
love all the uses of onomatopoeia
I also like the alliteration in phrases like whizzle and wheezle and the internal rhyme of rumble and tumble
A humorous story line with great descriptive detail
more good alliteration and internal rhyming
if you're over line count for a contest, why not just delete that stanza so you don't ruin your chances? and then add the verse back in after the contest? Brooke
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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excellent use of alternate-line rhyming
love all the uses of onomatopoeia
I also like the alliteration in phrases like whizzle and wheezle and the internal rhyme of rumble and tumble
A humorous story line with great descriptive detail
more good alliteration and internal rhyming
if you're over line count for a contest, why not just delete that stanza so you don't ruin your chances? and then add the verse back in after the contest? Brooke
Comment Written 25-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thanks, Brooke - I left the extra lines in and still managed to sneak a share of the prize....
Steve
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it is a really really good poem - I just personally do not vote for posts that do not follow contest requirements. That is not the practice of some other voters.
Comment from DALLAS01
Loved the inner line rhymes and the use of such creative, fun words. I can literally hear this one.
Your poem has lots of appeal. Good luck in the contest
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Loved the inner line rhymes and the use of such creative, fun words. I can literally hear this one.
Your poem has lots of appeal. Good luck in the contest
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
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you're welcome.
Comment from Black_Oxygen
Why, we'll take the lead and keep it, there's no way that we ain't winning
With a crickle and a crackle like a lightning bolt!
This is a fun read. The rhymes are not forced and it is
easy to read. It held my attention from start to finish.
Thank You for your creation.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Why, we'll take the lead and keep it, there's no way that we ain't winning
With a crickle and a crackle like a lightning bolt!
This is a fun read. The rhymes are not forced and it is
easy to read. It held my attention from start to finish.
Thank You for your creation.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from pattipac
Your well penned poem was a fun read. Alliteration and rhyme scheme make your poem flow easily from on stanza to the next. You can feel the competitive spirit, as well as see and hear this down-hill race.
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Your well penned poem was a fun read. Alliteration and rhyme scheme make your poem flow easily from on stanza to the next. You can feel the competitive spirit, as well as see and hear this down-hill race.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thank you!
Steve
Comment from Curt Mongold
How awfully cute this write is in its descriptiveness and its word use. The rhyming is great and I love the picture too. All around, the best I have read so far.
Best wishes,
Curt
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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How awfully cute this write is in its descriptiveness and its word use. The rhyming is great and I love the picture too. All around, the best I have read so far.
Best wishes,
Curt
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 31-Jan-2013
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Thanks, Curt.
Steve
