The Human Tape Recorder
He's Only Six but He's...43 total reviews
Comment from gypsycaravan
You did it perfectly and the human tape recorder is absolutely darling. I really like the rhythm and sound of this poem, also. I had one child like this too. When sometimes I just wore out after an endless stream of "Why, Mommy," I'd just give in and say "Because". Not two seconds later, I'd hear a small "Why because, Mommy?" Remember when they couldn't talk yet? Ah yes, a time too short. Ha Good job with the poem.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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You did it perfectly and the human tape recorder is absolutely darling. I really like the rhythm and sound of this poem, also. I had one child like this too. When sometimes I just wore out after an endless stream of "Why, Mommy," I'd just give in and say "Because". Not two seconds later, I'd hear a small "Why because, Mommy?" Remember when they couldn't talk yet? Ah yes, a time too short. Ha Good job with the poem.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Why what a delightful review. Thanks so much and yep, done the "why" thing. That totally drove me nuts. LOL
Cheers P
Comment from Chanphy
This is the cutest thing. The poem is simply precious. I can relate to children being human tape recorders.They are too funny. I like the rhythm, the rhyme, and the flow of the poem. They work well together.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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This is the cutest thing. The poem is simply precious. I can relate to children being human tape recorders.They are too funny. I like the rhythm, the rhyme, and the flow of the poem. They work well together.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Many thanks for your enchanting review. Most appreciated and welcomed.
Cheers P
Comment from kcross11
You know, the style is different but I like it. It's got a good beat (at least in my mind). I particularly liked the fourth stanza.
Mechanics- great. Flow- great. There really isn't much for me to say on this critique. I'm going to pretend I know tons about poetry, but I really like this work.
Sorry if it's not helpful!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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You know, the style is different but I like it. It's got a good beat (at least in my mind). I particularly liked the fourth stanza.
Mechanics- great. Flow- great. There really isn't much for me to say on this critique. I'm going to pretend I know tons about poetry, but I really like this work.
Sorry if it's not helpful!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Thanks so much and yes this style is a little different but I need something with the repeat effect yet subtle and this was the go.
I'm gonna pretend you know a lot about poetry too.
Choice review...much appreciated.
Cheers P
Comment from Spiritual Echo
You deserve a sux each and every time.
I so appreciate your unique ability t spin wonderful stories and your sense of humour in every post.
you have a gift that is completely individual. even among all the poets, and I mean ALL the poets on site,you make even those of us who are married to prose ultimate fans of your poetry.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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You deserve a sux each and every time.
I so appreciate your unique ability t spin wonderful stories and your sense of humour in every post.
you have a gift that is completely individual. even among all the poets, and I mean ALL the poets on site,you make even those of us who are married to prose ultimate fans of your poetry.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Hey Ingrid, thanks so much for the delightful review.
I so appreciate your unique ability to make me feel like one of the most valued writer's here.
I mean I know my style is unique, but I DO sometimes wish I could write without so much ockerism (Straylian) LOL
Most people know its me, long before I've arrived. Haha
I sincerely thankyou for your BEAUTIFUL and KIND encouraging words. (I always had the feeling I broke the mould) LOL I am one of those people you either really remember or try VERY hard to forget.
Cheers and lubs ya babes
P
xxx
Comment from kiwisteveh
Hi CPJ long time no see!
I had a lot of fun reading this, as I imagine you did in writing it. I wonder what kind of career you can envision for the skillset that your human tape recorder has.
Very clever rhyming and plenty of verbal gymnastics earn the six stars.
Steve
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Hi CPJ long time no see!
I had a lot of fun reading this, as I imagine you did in writing it. I wonder what kind of career you can envision for the skillset that your human tape recorder has.
Very clever rhyming and plenty of verbal gymnastics earn the six stars.
Steve
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Hey Kiwibro...thanks for the super sixer and you did good. I got a hoot out of writing this and actually had a ton more "ition" words of course but the "order" rhymers were a bit scant towards the end.
He REALY is a thorough delight, bloody handy too when I return to him in the waiting car and ask him what the heck I forgot to get when I went back inside. He's damn reliable. Cheers and thanks again...love the term "verbal gymnastics"...you GOTTA do something with that phrase.
Hugs P
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Comment from seewhatimwritingnow
Really enjoyed reading this clever poem. New subject for sure. So many of these children truly ARE little 'tape-recorders' and we must be careful of what we 'feed' into them- as you say- it CAN come back to bite you! LOL- Found no errors to correct. Just perfect. Enjoyed VERY much. Betty
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Really enjoyed reading this clever poem. New subject for sure. So many of these children truly ARE little 'tape-recorders' and we must be careful of what we 'feed' into them- as you say- it CAN come back to bite you! LOL- Found no errors to correct. Just perfect. Enjoyed VERY much. Betty
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Yes they are little delights and the girl is following closely behind. Its unfortunate but they DO echo both good AND bad points. Overall I wouldn't have it any other way. I will never have a problem with shy children...thanks for a delightful review.
Cheers P
Comment from snemes
Thanks for taking me back to a time when my son didn't tower over me, and for making me laugh. That little tape recorder made me curb my road rage and stop swearing like a sailor every time I got behind the wheel.
I can't pick my favorite stanza. They are all great fun. All without the intermission. Wonderful use of words to express the theme that flows seamlessly through the poem from beginning to the end. I would have rated it a six if I had any left.
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Thanks for taking me back to a time when my son didn't tower over me, and for making me laugh. That little tape recorder made me curb my road rage and stop swearing like a sailor every time I got behind the wheel.
I can't pick my favorite stanza. They are all great fun. All without the intermission. Wonderful use of words to express the theme that flows seamlessly through the poem from beginning to the end. I would have rated it a six if I had any left.
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Why thanks so much for a delightful review and yep, this little bloke rarely takes a breath. And I thought MUM could talk. (me, not my Mum LOL) I really enjoyed your review.
Cheers P
Comment from prayingpoet
I think this is a good reminder that all the "Little people" in our lives repeat everything they see and hear, so be careful what we say...it will be repeated!
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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I think this is a good reminder that all the "Little people" in our lives repeat everything they see and hear, so be careful what we say...it will be repeated!
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Indeed a choice reminder that human tape recorders are everywhere. We're breeding them! LOL
Cheers and thanks a bunch
Closet
Comment from GarthL
Wow that's so clever, each line in the first becoming the last in subsequent stanzas. I like the consistent trochaic meter as well. I've written my first sonnet recently in trochaic pentameter. As a musician the DAdumDAdum beat structure feels most natural.
The story you present is awesome, your son must be a joy to behold and the photo image is something else again!! Thanks for the comprehensive AN, it was very helpful and undertsandable, after the second read:-) Thanks for this very enjoyable and enlightening read this evening. My 11 year old daughter hears lyrics once and then sings them verbatim too. The lucidity of young minds is awe-inspiring. Very well conceived and conveyed. LiveLove'n'Peace, Garth
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Wow that's so clever, each line in the first becoming the last in subsequent stanzas. I like the consistent trochaic meter as well. I've written my first sonnet recently in trochaic pentameter. As a musician the DAdumDAdum beat structure feels most natural.
The story you present is awesome, your son must be a joy to behold and the photo image is something else again!! Thanks for the comprehensive AN, it was very helpful and undertsandable, after the second read:-) Thanks for this very enjoyable and enlightening read this evening. My 11 year old daughter hears lyrics once and then sings them verbatim too. The lucidity of young minds is awe-inspiring. Very well conceived and conveyed. LiveLove'n'Peace, Garth
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Thanks Garth for the super review and he IS a joy to behold and to behear. LOL
Sterling review, thanks so VERY much.
Cheers P
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You're very welcome P, you have a definite gift with both your son and the way you use your words. Very well written, CHEERS!!!
LiveLove, Garth
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Oh no, he has the gifts.
I just write about 'em.
LOL
But thanks for the hooge compliment.
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He got the blueprint from somewhere P, you're most humble :-)
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Oh no...I'm about as vain as they come Garth.
LOL
No, sirriusly.
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There you go P, honesty is the best policy. I appreciate it in my non-judgemental way!!
Please check out my recent poems if and when you have time.
'Firestorm' is our recent fire devastation here in OZ.
'The Light' is an interesting cluster of cinquains.
'Story-Telling' has been confirmed by Brooke and others as an original style/form I've developed. I call it an Eleven77.
'Find the Way' is a bardic conachlonn in honor of my Irish heritage.
I think you'll find much to incite your interest in that small gathering of differing styles, in my humble opinion!!.
If you like Bob Dylan I think you'll also enjoy 'Hey Mr Dylan' too.
Each an entirely different style to wet your appetite or inspire your creativity or something. Cheers, livelovestaystrong, garth
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Well we should get on well...I also see you are an Aussie. Even better roite moite! LOL
I'll check out some of your stuffs...I like variety but have favourite styles and I am a rhymer by trade myself so tend to follow those who rhyme well or free verse incredibly. My free verse is a bit shit.
I ramble on too long...I think you can see that already. LOL
Stay strong yourself, I'm NOT a Bob fan but I did like the one he did where the clip had him holdin up all those signs. Wow, that was cool. Not a bad tune either but to be honest I was more interested in what was coming next on the sign boards.
Okay P, enough.
I go.
Chow G..X
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Whoops, I see you have Irish heritage but if you've been here long enough you would be close to Aussie through and through.
Cheers P
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Most of my stuff rhymes P but in different schemes for variety.
'Firestorm' is a free verse but has some other quality I can't explain because I normally do rhyme, that one fell out as is
the day after Dunalley in Tas. was flattened.
'The Light' is free form but gentle reading.
My new form, Eleven77, in 'Story-Telling' has a very interesting rhyming structure that will probably incite and inspire you.
Take care P. LiveLovelearn'n'laughlots, Garth
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I was born and bred here P. I do cherish my Irish heritage tho', there's something whacky about them I sometimes feel in my tail bone and they've produced some great musicians, poets, artists and authors throughout history.
OZ thro' and thro' P, not sure how much ocker tho', I'm travelled and reasonably cultivated ;-) Onya cobber?!? Staysafe, Garth
Comment from sweetwoodjax
this is very well written, closetpoetjester, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the way your son is a master of words and memory. i had some friends that were cheating on her husband and when i was over at her house one day asleep on the couch, i started talking in my sleep. debbie said she immediately woke me up, lol
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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this is very well written, closetpoetjester, you did an excellent job writing this poem about the way your son is a master of words and memory. i had some friends that were cheating on her husband and when i was over at her house one day asleep on the couch, i started talking in my sleep. debbie said she immediately woke me up, lol
Comment Written 24-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 24-Jan-2013
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Hey jaxy, thanks for a super review...yes I often wonder how I'd go with a truth syrum oneday with some of the secrets I got. LMAO
Lubbed your review
P
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