Comment from rama devi

Excellent

Now that's more like it. I did not recognize your writing in the previous review because it had no voice...though perhaps a wolf's mutterings? I could not take it seriously.

This poem, I can take seriously, and it's good! I like the personification of thoughts, and the tone of addressing them personally... especially here:

Thoughts of mine
undress yourself
tear your shirt off
be naked.


Jump naked
in the middle of the road
and if you become a crowd
walk straight on
if someone yells
don't stop!



*Spag typo

w(W)hat? They find you naked?
It does't matter.


Potent emotional charge in the closing:

There will always be
a well known person
who won't say anything
who will be dumb-silent
but he will first
dress you up
then bury you.

Quite a unique piece!

Excellent free verse flow an style.

Warmly, rd

 Comment Written 20-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 21-Jan-2013

Thank you very much indeed for your help. For my previous one I was trying to create a the cover book for Alcheringa with a wolf on it which I have not succeeded in doing it because Rama I am trying to complete it
as I would like it in multilingual as you have seen but you didn't read my notes. Please do if you like. Blessings.

reply by rama devi on 21-Jan-2013

There were no notes when I reviewed it... :)Warmly, rd

reply by the author on 09-Jan-2015

Comment from mizzkris20

Excellent

This poem is very creative. I found it very interesting. Good job writing this and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Thank you for sharing

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Thank you

Comment from Allison78

Excellent

I found this poem to be so interesting and creative. I like the style of it and the way it flows. Well written, great job on this!

 Comment Written 14-Jan-2013

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reply by the author on 17-Jan-2013

Thank you