Reviews from

Along the Jericho Road

Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Kahije Moon"
Murder Mystery

43 total reviews 
Comment from Emmat306
Good
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I'm wondering how the two parts connect. I like how you made Jana come alive. I am looking forward to reading more of your story. Keep up the good work.

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 Comment Written 09-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 09-Jan-2013
    Have you read previous chapters? If so, you wouldn't have to ask that question. Thank you for your review.
Comment from wordsfromsue
Excellent
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Yuck.... I imagined it to be a big box and thought the entire body of the dead man would be inside.

An ear? Lend me your ear? Wrong story.

I think Jana and Derek would make a lovely couple.

I think the killer is beyond whacked. Did the man hear the killer being abused and never reported it? I have no idea who's guilty of what, but the story remains brilliant. :-)

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
    Thanks so much, sue! I really appreciate your witty AND generous review. You're guess is a good one LOL. Take care, Bev
Comment from Tina55
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

Uh-oh...you never want the crazy guy to tell you he's going to make you famous. :)

This is a great write: clean and concise and packed full of emotion.

Detective Burke sat alone in the front seat of her police unit.(Hmm. Do you really have to specify the front seat? How many cops sit in the back seat of their cars?)

You hit some emotional highs in this one. Great expression, Bev.

A fitful rain was absorbed by the heavy cloth of her uniform. (Cool line)

Love Jana's conflict in this post.

Wow, these are some paranoid people. Stands to reason, I suppose. LOL

A gun-weilding, pepper-spraying church janitor...yikes!
Ahh! A human ear!! No wonder he's shaky!!

Great tension, Bev. Very nicely penned!

Yours,
Tina


 Comment Written 08-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
    HaHa, good point about the seat LOL. I love that you keep me real, Tina. Thanks so very much for your awesome and generous review. It means a lot to receive such encouragement from one of my very favorite descriptive writers of all time. Hugs, Bev
reply by Tina55 on 08-Jan-2013
    Good Lord, you need to broaden your net if I'm one of your favourite descriptive writers of all time...:) Although, feel free to think that when I actually have books on the shelves...LOL

    Love ya, Bevvie.

    Tina
reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
    Love ya, too, Tina. :0) XX
Comment from dejohnsrld (Debbie)
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Whew, that last line really leaves me wanting to know more. Well written with good use of descriptive language. You seem to have strong characters and storyline. Enjoyable and interesting. One line really stuck at to me

A fitful rain was absorbed by the heavy cloth of her uniform. With each step closer to him, her boots split apart the shallow pools of standing water, mirroring the strong divides burning within her soul.

Great one!!! Debbie

 Comment Written 08-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
    Hi, Debbie. Thank you so much for reading my chapter. I really appreciate your insights and generosity. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from HittorX
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well done, I am reading from a point of view of learning correct style and seeing where I go wrong. So it is such a bonus when I come across a good story to go with it. Thank you for sharing your talent :-)

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 08-Jan-2013
    Thank You! I sure appreciate your generous and encouraging review, Hittor. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Shirley McLain
Exceptional
This work has reached the exceptional level

A wonderfully intense story that keeps me reading. I don't want to miss anything. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter. Great job as always.

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
    Thank you so much, Okiegal. I sure appreciate your choosing to read my chapter and your wonderfully generous six. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Selina Stambi
Excellent
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Wow! What a cliff hanger you've ended at! I am so curious to know the outcome.

I've read previous chapters, so was able to appreciate the developments. Is there romance afoot as well ...? Hmm ...

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
    Hi, RFTS. Yes, I thought it was time to introduce a little bit of romance LOL.

    Thanks so much for reading and for your awesome review!

    Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from JW
Excellent
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This chapter is well written and has an interesting ending. I can only imagine what it would be like to find a box with a human ear inside.

Thanks for sharing this. JW

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
    Thanks so much, Jonathon! :0) Bev
Comment from irishauthorme
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Just surfing when I found this, but I liked the way you wrote this chapter of your story. The pace is fast, your characters are full, and the tension was great all of the way through. The scene in the dark restroom was pure horror.
Good, fast moving story.
Cheers, irish

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
    Hi, Irish. Thank you for choosing to read my chapter! I really appreciate the supportive words and generous rating. Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Roxanna Andrews
Excellent
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Great as always. I have no correction or suggestions. This is as always, well written and really interesting, keeps the reader (Me) wanting more. =} Well done Bev

 Comment Written 07-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
    Thank you, Rox. I really appreciate your support and encouragement! Warmest regards, Bev