Reviews from
Coming of Age with the help of that red whistle
2 total reviews
Comment from
c_lucas
Too much telling instead of showing.
For easier reading place a line break before and after the dialogue. You show good writing skills.
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
I struggled to retell this until I settled on narrative. I was retelling a story I'd been told. So 'telling' came to the fore rather than 'showing.' I think it works.
reply by c_lucas on 06-Jan-2013
I trust you have told it in your own words.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
Yes, the beach-front story was confessed to me amid eye-rolling giggles, that evening not so long ago. Once my daughter left for college, and I spotted the red whistle on the dress form, the rest of the story just came along.
reply by c_lucas on 07-Jan-2013
Comment from
Selina Stambi
I smiled as I read through this feel-good tale because your father's heart bursts with the warmth of remembered pride and is reflected in every word you write.
Thank you for sharing.
fierce-some (fearsome?)
Happy New Year, foxtale!
Comment Written 05-Jan-2013
reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
fearsome. Wow. No wonder I couldn't get spellcheck to quit rejecting my spelling! LOL.
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