Reviews from

Aura of Authority

Coming of Age with the help of that red whistle

2 total reviews 
Comment from c_lucas
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Too much telling instead of showing.
For easier reading place a line break before and after the dialogue. You show good writing skills.

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 06-Jan-2013
    I struggled to retell this until I settled on narrative. I was retelling a story I'd been told. So 'telling' came to the fore rather than 'showing.' I think it works.
reply by c_lucas on 06-Jan-2013
    I trust you have told it in your own words.
reply by the author on 07-Jan-2013
    Yes, the beach-front story was confessed to me amid eye-rolling giggles, that evening not so long ago. Once my daughter left for college, and I spotted the red whistle on the dress form, the rest of the story just came along.
reply by c_lucas on 07-Jan-2013
    You're welcome
Comment from Selina Stambi
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

I smiled as I read through this feel-good tale because your father's heart bursts with the warmth of remembered pride and is reflected in every word you write.

Thank you for sharing.

fierce-some (fearsome?)

Happy New Year, foxtale!

 Comment Written 05-Jan-2013


reply by the author on 05-Jan-2013
    fearsome. Wow. No wonder I couldn't get spellcheck to quit rejecting my spelling! LOL.