Trouble - Flight Fright
These are REVIVED chapters - the reviews are old ones. :)42 total reviews
Comment from olliebuster
This is so vivid, one feels nauseous at the end. One could hardly comment objectively, since the story has drawn one into the plot.The reader seems to be experiencing the ups and downs of the author. Being no great flyer myself, it was a relief to end this flight. Credits to the author for reality.
Olliebuster
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This is so vivid, one feels nauseous at the end. One could hardly comment objectively, since the story has drawn one into the plot.The reader seems to be experiencing the ups and downs of the author. Being no great flyer myself, it was a relief to end this flight. Credits to the author for reality.
Olliebuster
Comment Written 07-Oct-2015
Comment from GWinterwin
Well as usual my sweet dear friend, I truly enjoyed this chapter. I can relate in that I literally hate to get on an airplane. If I cant get there by car or horse I don't want to go. As always Dawn this was a very interesting chapter.
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Well as usual my sweet dear friend, I truly enjoyed this chapter. I can relate in that I literally hate to get on an airplane. If I cant get there by car or horse I don't want to go. As always Dawn this was a very interesting chapter.
Comment Written 16-Sep-2015
Comment from BeasPeas
I identify with your unease in flying, as I used to fly for Pan American Airlines in the 60's. The video of the air turbulence, although I didn't watch it, was the reason I quit after 3 years. We hit a terrible storm over the middle east and none of us thought we were going to make it. Stuff was flying all over the cabin.
Your story holds the interest of the reader, has excellent detail, and is clearly written. Will wait for the next chapter. I'm curious why you decided to rewrite the book. Marilyn
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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I identify with your unease in flying, as I used to fly for Pan American Airlines in the 60's. The video of the air turbulence, although I didn't watch it, was the reason I quit after 3 years. We hit a terrible storm over the middle east and none of us thought we were going to make it. Stuff was flying all over the cabin.
Your story holds the interest of the reader, has excellent detail, and is clearly written. Will wait for the next chapter. I'm curious why you decided to rewrite the book. Marilyn
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 12-Sep-2015
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First, to answer your question about why I am re-writing this - I think my imagination was in overdrive the last time and I wrote a little too much 'fantasy' into it with respect to clairvoyance. I intend to make it more believable this time around.
Wow, it sounds like your real story was incredibly dramatic - part of this story is true for me, too. The last flight I ever willingly took was returning from the tropics, and the turbulence was so bad I swore I'd never fly again. Up until that point I loved to fly - even flew in single engine jobs, but after that I couldn't make myself get back on a plane again. I tried several times - even ended up making a flight from Toronto to New York with a friend because we had already boarded the plane and of course, they wouldn't let me off once I was on. But I paid for a flight to Jamaica with every intention of going to meet a friend there, and I just couldn't force myself to go. I haven't been on a plane since.
Thanks so much, Marilyn. I'm so glad you are enjoying it.
Comment from royowen
A very old episode Dawn, the descriptive narrative is excellent, the sights and sounds you are seeing and hearing is very surreal. I've a lot over the years, and set out being terrified by every flight nuance, but these days it's much easier, I loved accompanying video(s). Well written, it's sort of has that fragmented feel to it, she seemed to know exactly where David was interned, well done, exciting flight, sometimes in turbulence I imagined God's hand underneath the fuselage holding it up! Well done, Dawn, good scribing, blessing, Roy.
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A very old episode Dawn, the descriptive narrative is excellent, the sights and sounds you are seeing and hearing is very surreal. I've a lot over the years, and set out being terrified by every flight nuance, but these days it's much easier, I loved accompanying video(s). Well written, it's sort of has that fragmented feel to it, she seemed to know exactly where David was interned, well done, exciting flight, sometimes in turbulence I imagined God's hand underneath the fuselage holding it up! Well done, Dawn, good scribing, blessing, Roy.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
Comment from Jay Squires
Now, this is what I'm talkin' about! This moves, emotes; there was enough dialogue exchange to make your introspection believable. The dialogue and the narrative were well balanced.
Suspense what held to a high point, especially when Luke wasn't so sure himself.
Well done, Dawn!
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Now, this is what I'm talkin' about! This moves, emotes; there was enough dialogue exchange to make your introspection believable. The dialogue and the narrative were well balanced.
Suspense what held to a high point, especially when Luke wasn't so sure himself.
Well done, Dawn!
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
Comment from robina1978
Excellent photos that complement these chapters perfectly. Dawn is in a plane and somewhat terrified. She rushes to the hospital where her friend David. He is in coma, she talks to him. One tip, I thought at the start you forgot some '' ---- ''
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Excellent photos that complement these chapters perfectly. Dawn is in a plane and somewhat terrified. She rushes to the hospital where her friend David. He is in coma, she talks to him. One tip, I thought at the start you forgot some '' ---- ''
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
Comment from Sandra du Plessis
#13 You are a very brave and in love woman. My fear for flying will keep me on the ground. Beside the tension it was still funny how you want to be in control of the plane even if you don't know how to fly a plane.
#14 oh no. Is it really needed to announce the trouble in so much detail, I will probably pass out. I will be with you on that boat, my nerves are shattered by now. Finally arrived safely, but David seems to be unaware of you right now, but I believe things will work out.
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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#13 You are a very brave and in love woman. My fear for flying will keep me on the ground. Beside the tension it was still funny how you want to be in control of the plane even if you don't know how to fly a plane.
#14 oh no. Is it really needed to announce the trouble in so much detail, I will probably pass out. I will be with you on that boat, my nerves are shattered by now. Finally arrived safely, but David seems to be unaware of you right now, but I believe things will work out.
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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Sandra, thank you! Your support and encouragement are so appreciated!
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I enjoy to read and review your work very much
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What a lovely compliment! Thank you - it means more than you could ever know, my friend - really.
Comment from anabellapongasi
So Dawn finally meets David. But David is in a coma. Perhaps he will wake up? Or not?
One thing, about this line:
"If I'd only known what was ahead, I might not have been quite as happy to be on that island." --Whatever this means, it's quite disturbing- a hint that something not good was about to happen? I was wondering if it might be better if you don't give out this clue, so readers would have no idea, and whatever was going to happen, would come as a surprise. That's just my thought. But then again maybe you have a very good reason why you feel you need to put that there. So okay, just ignore me :) Anyways, a very enjoyable read.
Blessings,
Anabella
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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So Dawn finally meets David. But David is in a coma. Perhaps he will wake up? Or not?
One thing, about this line:
"If I'd only known what was ahead, I might not have been quite as happy to be on that island." --Whatever this means, it's quite disturbing- a hint that something not good was about to happen? I was wondering if it might be better if you don't give out this clue, so readers would have no idea, and whatever was going to happen, would come as a surprise. That's just my thought. But then again maybe you have a very good reason why you feel you need to put that there. So okay, just ignore me :) Anyways, a very enjoyable read.
Blessings,
Anabella
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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LOL - let me ask you - does that sentence make you want to read the next chapter?
Thanks so much, Anabella - what a great review! Your feedback is so appreciated, and so are you!
Comment from Shirley McLain
You certainly portrayed her fear of flying very well. That video of the turbulence went very well with the story. I didn't find any problems. Great job. Shirley
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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You certainly portrayed her fear of flying very well. That video of the turbulence went very well with the story. I didn't find any problems. Great job. Shirley
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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Thanks so much, Shirley! I'm so glad you liked it. :)
Comment from Ulla
This was an exiting write and the description of a scared passenger was rather well done. I was a flight attendant for twenty years, so I can more than identify with your story. It is true that the feeling of being out of control is the worst for most people who are frightened of flying, and then the turbulence. A plane cane sustain much more than those on board would. I enjoyed the read a lot and will be looking out for more. All best. Ulla
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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This was an exiting write and the description of a scared passenger was rather well done. I was a flight attendant for twenty years, so I can more than identify with your story. It is true that the feeling of being out of control is the worst for most people who are frightened of flying, and then the turbulence. A plane cane sustain much more than those on board would. I enjoyed the read a lot and will be looking out for more. All best. Ulla
Comment Written 11-Sep-2015
reply by the author on 11-Sep-2015
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What a great review! Thank you very much. :)
