Along the Jericho Road
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "Inaji Moon, Part Two"Murder Mystery
42 total reviews
Comment from AprilShower
This chapter is very impressive, Bev. It kind of appears that the Tony or someone in his family is involved in this, but I'm not sure how. I liked the way you have the mixed Sioux and English translations in this chapter. I look forward to the next chapter.
Hugs,
April
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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This chapter is very impressive, Bev. It kind of appears that the Tony or someone in his family is involved in this, but I'm not sure how. I liked the way you have the mixed Sioux and English translations in this chapter. I look forward to the next chapter.
Hugs,
April
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Thanks for hanging in there with me in this novel, April. Especially as busy as everyone is this time of year. I much appreciate your generous and supportive review. Hugs, Bev
Comment from wordsfromsue
What a terrific chapter. I liked the scene with Tony and Agnes and the combination of languages was interesting. They add a rich texture to the story. I'm curious to know who's missing now and think Tony and Agnes' involvement with beating the evil will be exciting.
Truly riveting.
I love your animal characters. :-)
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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What a terrific chapter. I liked the scene with Tony and Agnes and the combination of languages was interesting. They add a rich texture to the story. I'm curious to know who's missing now and think Tony and Agnes' involvement with beating the evil will be exciting.
Truly riveting.
I love your animal characters. :-)
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Hiya, Sue. I really appreciate your great review. Thanks so much for reading during this busy time of year. I much appreciate you! Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from God's Writer
A truly suspenseful story You kept me on the edge of my seat the whole way through. Beautiful mind and word images. THANK YOU FOR THIS SUSPENSEFUL WRITE.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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A truly suspenseful story You kept me on the edge of my seat the whole way through. Beautiful mind and word images. THANK YOU FOR THIS SUSPENSEFUL WRITE.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Thank you for your review, Erick.
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Thank you for your poem.
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I changed it to a five. The story was well worth it.
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Hi, Erick. Thank you, that was most kind of you! :0) Bev
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It was my mistake little butterfly.
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I've done that a couple of times. When I start writing without giving it a rating, it automatically goes to a three. Anyway, I do thank you for the change, Erick.
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You are welcome sis.
Shalom,
Rabbi Erick
Comment from Maureen's Pen
AH!!! You scared me senseless with that photo. Brooke used it once and I thought it was a corn of cob at first!!! I really am not a good snake person, or squirrels....LOL
Excellent post loved the character flavors changes seem to give this work more depth I like. And I'm learning a few things as well.. Smooth flow for me, no issues.
Great sense of mystery that makes me want to know but then not, instead if it gets real bad I'll hide behind a pillow...If I want to do that, then you've got me !!
Thanks for sharing.
Happy Holidays
Maureen
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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AH!!! You scared me senseless with that photo. Brooke used it once and I thought it was a corn of cob at first!!! I really am not a good snake person, or squirrels....LOL
Excellent post loved the character flavors changes seem to give this work more depth I like. And I'm learning a few things as well.. Smooth flow for me, no issues.
Great sense of mystery that makes me want to know but then not, instead if it gets real bad I'll hide behind a pillow...If I want to do that, then you've got me !!
Thanks for sharing.
Happy Holidays
Maureen
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Hiya, Maureen. I didn't realize Brooke had used it - I thought I discovered a great new piece of art LOL. Thanks for your awesome review, my friend. I really appreciate you reading and following so faithfully. I liked this chapter myself, so I'm glad you felt it had 'depth'. Big hugs, Bev
Comment from JW
This is a another good chapter and a great addition to your story. Only one spag was found and this chapter easily holds one's attention.
Note: you may want to review the following:
he measured a large spoonful and tipped them into the tea strainer within the ceramic pot. He poured boiling water over the leaves and placed a lid on the pot.
The word "pot" is used in two consecutive sentences. I would recommend changing "the pot" to just "it".
Afer (After) his retirement from St. Matilde's Catholic School, he'd devoted his time to charitable activities.
Have a Happy Holiday. JW
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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This is a another good chapter and a great addition to your story. Only one spag was found and this chapter easily holds one's attention.
Note: you may want to review the following:
he measured a large spoonful and tipped them into the tea strainer within the ceramic pot. He poured boiling water over the leaves and placed a lid on the pot.
The word "pot" is used in two consecutive sentences. I would recommend changing "the pot" to just "it".
Afer (After) his retirement from St. Matilde's Catholic School, he'd devoted his time to charitable activities.
Have a Happy Holiday. JW
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Hi, Jonathon. Thanks so much for your help with this chapter. I can always depend on you to read with an eye for spelling errors. And I like your suggestion about the pot being mentioned twice.
I really appreciate your support and interest, my friend.
Warmest regards, Bev
Comment from Joy Graham
This is a treat to get to read another chapter of this story. I love that you include Sioux translations in the story. It makes it all the more exotic to read :) I would buy this book if it were on the shelf of my local bookstore!
"Sheriff Oleson entered the (Esiner) residence" - you spelled this "Eisner" later on.
"place a commendation into (Tood) Poole's personnel file" - did you mean "Todd"?
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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This is a treat to get to read another chapter of this story. I love that you include Sioux translations in the story. It makes it all the more exotic to read :) I would buy this book if it were on the shelf of my local bookstore!
"Sheriff Oleson entered the (Esiner) residence" - you spelled this "Eisner" later on.
"place a commendation into (Tood) Poole's personnel file" - did you mean "Todd"?
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Thanks for the awesome review, Joy. And thanks so much for catching the typos. Tood Poole LOL. Much appreciated, Bev
Comment from Adri7enne
I am enjoying this chapter. I love the way you develop your characters, giving us a glimpse into a different culture - the things that set them apart. Great backstories.
I might reconsider the many uses of native language. I'd narrow it down to maybe the three most important statements made in that language, and continue with the English version. I think that would be enough to give the reader the idea this is the language being spoken.
Interesting language. I'd read somewhere that it's very specific. It seems there are dozens of words for 'snow', depending on where, when, and how it falls. Amazing! I think you're very fortunate to have such an intelligent culture as part of your background. So cool!
"Looking around, Derek had the eerie sense a stranger in his own home might come away with the same feeling." That's a terrific character insight, Bev. You give your character such depth! You're a wonderfully talented writer. Well done!
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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I am enjoying this chapter. I love the way you develop your characters, giving us a glimpse into a different culture - the things that set them apart. Great backstories.
I might reconsider the many uses of native language. I'd narrow it down to maybe the three most important statements made in that language, and continue with the English version. I think that would be enough to give the reader the idea this is the language being spoken.
Interesting language. I'd read somewhere that it's very specific. It seems there are dozens of words for 'snow', depending on where, when, and how it falls. Amazing! I think you're very fortunate to have such an intelligent culture as part of your background. So cool!
"Looking around, Derek had the eerie sense a stranger in his own home might come away with the same feeling." That's a terrific character insight, Bev. You give your character such depth! You're a wonderfully talented writer. Well done!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Thank you for suggestions and your great review, Adrienne. I so appreciate you following along, especially when it's been a while between posts. Yes, the Lakota languge has many nuances and is not easily related to the white's way of expressing. A great insight on your part.
Hugs, Bev
Comment from c_lucas
The mystery and suspense depeens. This is very wellw wiritten with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good job.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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The mystery and suspense depeens. This is very wellw wiritten with a smooth flow of words, making for a very good read. Good job.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Thank you most kindly, charlie. I appreciate the support. Warmest regards, Bev
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You're welcome, Bev. Charlie
Comment from judiverse
Very interesting chapter. Great descriptions of Tony and Milan. Tony thinks of his nephew who committed suicide after being sexually abused by the priest, and he feels that he should have been able to prevent. His sister says she'd had visions of her son since his death, and wants brother's help in banishing the devil. Sheriff is very appreciative of the work of his men, this time Officer Poole as they investigate Stanley's bedroom. Derek seems satisfied that it was Stanley's heart. Another missing person! This is getting complicated. Great chapter. judi
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Very interesting chapter. Great descriptions of Tony and Milan. Tony thinks of his nephew who committed suicide after being sexually abused by the priest, and he feels that he should have been able to prevent. His sister says she'd had visions of her son since his death, and wants brother's help in banishing the devil. Sheriff is very appreciative of the work of his men, this time Officer Poole as they investigate Stanley's bedroom. Derek seems satisfied that it was Stanley's heart. Another missing person! This is getting complicated. Great chapter. judi
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Judi, thanks so much for your great review. I appreciate you taking time to read at this busy time of year. Your support and insights are most gratifying. Hugs, Bev
Comment from Jean Lutz
It has been awhile since you posted Part 1, but most of the story came back as I read. Spritual warfare is not limited to time or culture. Sometimes knowledge is revealed through nature and sometimes through learning. I see you are applying some of both in this writing.
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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It has been awhile since you posted Part 1, but most of the story came back as I read. Spritual warfare is not limited to time or culture. Sometimes knowledge is revealed through nature and sometimes through learning. I see you are applying some of both in this writing.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 20-Dec-2012
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Jean, your insight is a great one. That is the premise of my story, and I appeciate you confirming the concept of spiritual warfare being non-denominational in nature! Warmest regards, Bev
