The Tail of the Mouse
A true Christmas funny story7 total reviews
Comment from eagyerman
This poem has a delightful quirkiness that is entertaining. You may want to take the y off of delightfully and just make the mouse delightful. I really want to know who James is...at first I thought he was a cat but they don't eat cherries and chocolate. This is cute maybe read it again and I think you can improve the flow.
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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This poem has a delightful quirkiness that is entertaining. You may want to take the y off of delightfully and just make the mouse delightful. I really want to know who James is...at first I thought he was a cat but they don't eat cherries and chocolate. This is cute maybe read it again and I think you can improve the flow.
Comment Written 11-Apr-2015
reply by the author on 11-Apr-2015
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Thank you eagyerman for reviewing a piece I did for my son James a couple of years ago. It was written on the spur of the moment just for fun.
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Really I liked this poem so much I will remember how dear it is. James your son - I thought maybe a child - so cute!
Comment from Gladness
I like the description of the mouse, but I keep wondering if James is a cat. I hope he is, but he could be a person or a snake or something else. Ho ho ho
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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I like the description of the mouse, but I keep wondering if James is a cat. I hope he is, but he could be a person or a snake or something else. Ho ho ho
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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James is my grown 40yr old son. My mother had her little gift candy mouse on her table for display and he ate it. My mom was upset so I wrote the poem for her to console her. Thank you for your kind review.
Comment from my1destiny
I got a bit thrown with the one - two worded lines (suggestion make all lines same length so it doesn't distract reader) but otherwise it was engaging and a quick yet fun read! Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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I got a bit thrown with the one - two worded lines (suggestion make all lines same length so it doesn't distract reader) but otherwise it was engaging and a quick yet fun read! Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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Glad you enjoyed my poem. It was written to console my mom after my 40 yr old son ate her candy mouse.
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Wow, that's neat!
Comment from Gert sherwood
Hello justjo66
I never read the story about the mouse.
I take it , it's your true poem/story.
I feel sorry for the little mouse.
But sounds like James the cat had his Christmas feast and said HO Ho Ho
Gert
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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Hello justjo66
I never read the story about the mouse.
I take it , it's your true poem/story.
I feel sorry for the little mouse.
But sounds like James the cat had his Christmas feast and said HO Ho Ho
Gert
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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Ha ha I guess I should have told the reader that James is my grown son. He did not know that his grandmother was saving it to show. The poem was to console her:)
Comment from Thewriterwithnoname
Funny take on a classic poem about Christmas, it has an almost cynical tone about it that I appreciated. Keep up the good work!
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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Funny take on a classic poem about Christmas, it has an almost cynical tone about it that I appreciated. Keep up the good work!
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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Thanks for reviewing my poem. I'm glad u liked it.
Comment from 9999pool
Ho Ho Ho. As in whole whole whole. And Christmas will will never be whole without the Ho Ho Ho of Christmas. Some stories of old never really grows old through the generations. Over the years the story does change slightly maybe to adjust to the modern times. It is a wonderful story. The cat has a name called James but hte mouse does not..I suppose we can called her Red Hat the mouse? Good write and expressions. A simple story with a message of how ho, ho ,ho came about. Cheers. Ritchie.
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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Ho Ho Ho. As in whole whole whole. And Christmas will will never be whole without the Ho Ho Ho of Christmas. Some stories of old never really grows old through the generations. Over the years the story does change slightly maybe to adjust to the modern times. It is a wonderful story. The cat has a name called James but hte mouse does not..I suppose we can called her Red Hat the mouse? Good write and expressions. A simple story with a message of how ho, ho ,ho came about. Cheers. Ritchie.
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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James is my grown 40 yr old son. He did not know that his grandmother was saving the candy mouse so he ate it. I wrote the poem to console my mom. She liked the story and was happy again.
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Thx for sharing. Lol. I won't mind getting my hands on that candy too. Lol. Cheers.
Comment from Mrs Happy Poet
Yes I liked the way this reads and its touch of humor I enjoyed I liked the way you closed the poem with a ho ho ho well done regards Jill
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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Yes I liked the way this reads and its touch of humor I enjoyed I liked the way you closed the poem with a ho ho ho well done regards Jill
Comment Written 20-Dec-2012
reply by the author on 30-Dec-2012
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Thanks Jill. Im glad u liked my poem.
